May 'til December
by Armadilloi
Summary: Same characters, different roles, ages, histories, positions and futures. NO ANGST - well a smidgen or two, mostly parental type. Sarah-centric. Lots of steamy Charah. it's my swan song.
1. Introduction & Prologue

MayDecember1

_A/N: OK, something for you all to chew on. All the characters are here but the ages, roles and time lines are all skewed. There's a reason for this. I'm telling a tale but in a different context. If any of you still want to read it but are hopelessly lost, lemme know and I'll send you a time line. Hope you enjoy it. Read this, Nik, and quitcherbichen and put it behind you. I have. Thanks to you-know-who for the idea. If you INSIST, I'll tell everyone your name. lol  
__APR_

* * *

**December 2007**

Agent Sarah Walker sat in the outer office of the Deputy Director of Operations for the Central Intelligence Agency. She'd just 'come in' from a long-term assignment in Europe and 30-days' of well-deserved annual leave.

She was anxious to get back to work. She wanted a new challenge.

"The Deputy Director will see you now."

She walked in and stood in front of his desk while he ended a phone call. It was obviously personal but he made no effort to hide that fact. He pointed to a chair, rolled his eyes at something that was said and then spoke in a soft but firm voice.

"Yes, Ellie, I know. But your Dad's always been a hardhead. Even before your mom…well, even way back then. And I know you're worried but I'm handling it. Well, nag him to go to physical therapy on post. Y'know, nag, it's like in your genetic code. Yes, I haven't forgotten graduation and I'll be there if at all possible. Yes. Yes. No, I won't help you convince your Dad to let you go to the Bahamas as a graduation present. Yeah, I love you, too. I'll see ya at graduation. Bye."

"Sorry about that. My goddaughter. Man, I do not know how he's handling her, teaching, the project missions and the Army. Well, Agent Walker, let's talk about your next assignment. It's deep cover in the U.S. You're going to be going back to school and your brief is to ensure the safety and well-being of one of our best kept secrets – the Intersect and it's developer and host."

"The Intersect? Director Larkin, that's…that's a fairy tale told to gullible agents. It's real?"

"Oh, yeah, it's real. And it's a pain in the ass, just like it's developer and host. He's your mark. No! He's not a mark. He's your…responsibility. Get close to him. Form a relationship. Gain his trust and work with him. He won't know your task and you can't tell him, at least not until the right time. Protect him and don't let him go off the reservation again."

"If this guy's a nutcase and dangerous, why not just put him down, or take him into 'protective' custody?"

You could literally have heard a pin drop in the plush carpet, it was suddenly so quiet.

Bryce Larkin's eyes narrowed and his lips formed a white line across his face. "Agent Walker, I made a mistake. You're not the one for this mission. You're too far-gone. I'll look elsewhere. This is all code word so forget you ever heard of it. I must be getting old. My selection of you for this critical mission was in error. I'll find someone with more…compassion and an appreciation of self-sacrifice."

"Please, Director, I only meant…"

"You meant exactly what you said. Arthur Graham tried that, once. He's dead. Diane Beckman has threatened on numerous occasions but she's all talk. She knows him, has worked with him before and she respects him. They don't like each other but…that's not your concern."

"Director, I want this assignment. It sounds challenging and it's in the U.S. and I'm tired of living out of a suitcase. I'll – I'll do this. I want this."

He threw her a flash drive and smiled but the smile never reached his eyes.

"OK, but if anything happens to this man or his daughter, you'll answer to me and your career will be the least of your concerns."

"Yes, Director Larkin. I understand the concept of consequences."

"Good. Get your affairs in order and then plan on being 'in place' right after the Xmas holidays."

She took the flash drive and the manila folder of photographs and left as quietly as she'd come in. This was a new start, a fresh start and she felt excited about this new challenge.

**January 2008  
Arizona State University  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

Dr. Bartowski was bored. These 'new semester' faculty mixers were tremendous wastes of time, in his opinion. He'd rather be spending time with his almost-adult (in some ways) daughter or going on Post and tinkering with the project or just talking with his students. Kids nowadays seemed to have slightly different viewpoints on things. Maybe it was the fact that they'd grown up around an evolving technology. They'd absorbed it and it's unintended consequences as naturally as he'd absorbed 8" floppy drives, hardwired printers, 80-column cards, all the trappings of the late 20th century computer revolution.

Every once in a great while someone would actually say something that interested him here. It wasn't often but it did happen. He massaged his shoulder and went in search of another glass of JW Black. At least the booze was good and best of all, free.

The University Chancellor was escorting a new professor through the crowd, introducing her to the various faculty and department heads.

"Ah, Charles, let me introduce our new Professor of Linguistics and Languages, Dr. Sarah Walker. Dr. Walker has joined us after a brilliant period in government service working at the Defense Language Institute. Sarah, this is Dr. Charles Bartowski, Chair of our Cybernetics Department."

He looked over and down at the new prof. She was…startlingly beautiful and…Christ, she was a kid!

His thought must have shown on his face or he muttered it because she laughed and said, "I'm almost 30, Dr. Bartowski, that's over the hill nowadays. But thank you for the compliment." She had a beautiful smile. It was spontaneous and…so much like hers had been.

"Charles is our resident Mad Scientist and War Hero. He's also been very productive in getting the University lucrative research grants."

She saw the way he'd flashed a brief glare at him when the Chancellor had said 'War Hero' and she remembered her briefing. He was obviously uncomfortable with any of his history being known to the general public.

"I didn't mean to be rude, Dr. Walker. I guess I'm feeling my age is all. Welcome to State and I hope it lives up to your expectations. You'll have to excuse me. I need to pick Ellie up and I'm running late. Again, I apologize. If you need anything, feel free to call me."

"Charles lost his wife some time ago and he's raised a fine young lady all alone."

He would have said more but Bartowski almost growled at him and Sarah almost felt afraid for a brief moment.

"I didn't _misplace her_, George. She died. And I don't think you need to trot that out just to give a demonstration of your natural compassion for the less fortunate. It was nice meeting you, Dr. Walker." He tossed back the remains of his drink, slammed the glass on the bar and walked out of the meeting room.

"I keep forgetting myself, Dr. Walker. Charles, well, he was in Iraq when Jill died. He blames himself for not being here. Actually, he couldn't be here. He was in a hospital, himself. Eleanor came close to losing both her parents."

She had her work cut out for her. After all these years, he still loved his wife. 

* * *

**A/N: Sufficient nudging and I'll continue. Bored and ornery. Eleven more days until Hell swallows me up.**

**APR**


	2. Back Story Then & Now

MayDecember2

_**A/N: OK, you're all confused. Apparently I should have done this the first time but I didn't want any pre-judging. Weird, I know.**_

_**Timeline: **_  
_**1967 Bartowski, Larkin dob**_  
_**1981 Sarah Walker born**_  
_**1987 – 1991 Chuck attends Stanford; Bryce is his roomie.**_  
_**1990 – Marries Jill Roberts, Bryce Larkin is his best man. Bryce is student CIA recruiter but doesn't try to recruit Chuck.**_  
_**1991 – Joins Army Reserve for add'l income since he & Jill both in grad school. Serves in First Gulf War as platoon leader of Bradley scouts. Remains in 'Ready Reserve' until present date.**_  
_**1993 - Ellie born. Jill & Chuck attend grad schools and both find employment teaching at ASU in Sierra Vista, AZ.**_

_**Any more and I might as well not write the damned thing. Please note the DATES on the scene changes.**_

_

* * *

_

* * *

**May 2007**  
**Casa Bartowski**  
**Sierra Vista, AZ**

Ellie Bartowski loved her father as much as any 14-year old girl did but sometimes she just didn't understand him at all. He'd given up a social life after her mom died, so when he'd finally started to 'date' again, she'd been ecstatic. She was a romantic at heart and she'd cast her father in the role of martyred husband and widower. She'd read too many bodice rippers at too early an age. He blamed Carina for that.

The reason for EllieJoy was Carol Miller, an intelligence officer from the Post. Her dad had met her at some function he attended and they soon became inseparable, including Ellie in everything they did as often as possible. She figured something was up when her dad woke her on a Sunday morning and said he had to talk to her.

"Ellie, Carol and I, well, I'd like her to move in here, if you don't mind. Sweetie, this doesn't mean I don't love your mom anymore it means that, well…"

"Dad, I know, I get it. Hey, it's OK with me. You've been alone for so long and I've been nagging you to 'get a life' since I can remember. I like Carol. She's funny and she likes you, Dad, and that's the most important thing."

"What? That she's funny?"

"No, Dad. Sheesh, sometimes you're so…dense." She got flustered easily and her dad loved teasing her.

"Fine. I'd like you to stay with Aunt Carina this weekend. John and I are…we're going out of town. Carol might come along. So, we down with that?" His primary concern was Carol's cover. Since Fulcrum had made an attempt to steal the intersect crystals, they needed to be moved again and that was the purpose of the trip.

Ellie rolled her eyes and smirked. "Dad, quit watching MTV. Yes, I'm OK with staying with Aunt Carina. I think she appreciates it when Uncle John's out and about."

Now Chuck rolled his eyes. Carina loved Ellie like her own but since her 'retirement', she'd gotten pissy when they had a mission or op and Ellie's presence, while welcome, was a reminder of what she'd given up for the GruntMan.

**July 2007**  
**FT Huachuca, AZ**

Chuck walked out of the lab in a daze. He'd just conferenced with Colonel Beckman of NSA. The six volunteers for the intersect download had all died of massive brain hemorrhage. Hopefully, according to the colonel, the autopsies would provide some clue as to why the download had killed them. She expected the results within a few days and would conference again at that time. Her orders were very specific: make the damned thing work.

He was convinced that the problem was the method of delivery. His wife's thesis notes on the organic changes in the human brain after 'optical stimulation via light sources' were encouraging. He stopped thinking about her and refocused his mind on the problem.

His cell phone interrupted his train of thought and he cursed Alexander Graham Bell for ever inventing the damned telephone.

"Bartowski." No caller ID.

"Chuck, Bryce. I'm going to be in your neck of the woods and wanted to know if I could drop by and see my goddaughter. It's been too long, Chuck. Oh, and to see you, buddy. How about this weekend?"

"Sure. Just no more Barbies, Bryce. She's 14, not 4. She's more into computer games and heavy metal bands. Oh, she got her ears pierced. Earrings are nice."

"Arrrggg. What the hell am I going to do with Barbie's Playhouse? Earrings? We're getting old, Chuck. So how's the new roomie?"

"Agent Williams is fitting in just fine, Bryce. She doesn't hog the covers, she's a cuddler, and she doesn't snore. Best of all, she really likes Ellie. You picked a winner this time, Bry. And she doesn't leave hair in the tub drain or clip her toenails in the sink. I think Ellie believes it's real. Maybe I should tell Carol to pull a restaurant scene from 'When Harry Met Sally'. What do you think?"

"Chuck, it's been 4 years, man. You need to get out, maybe date a coed or seven. Man, Playboy had a thing on 'Women of Arizona' and you really need to check out the…"

"Leave it alone, Bryce. I'm not interested in finding a replacement. Not now. Maybe not ever, I don't know. Ellie's going to college soon and there'll be plenty of time then to think about the future."

"Chuck, we're not getting any younger. Hell, we'll be 39 soon. Then 40, then 65. Seize the day, Major Bartowski, sir. Let some light in through those dark glasses you insist on wearing."

"What? What did you say?" Wheels turned, gears moved cog by cog.

"I said we're not getting any younger…"

"Polarized light! That's it! Bryce, haul your ass down here and bring earrings. I'll see you." Polarizing lenses on his Foster Grants from his Army days in Iraq. Of course!

* * *

**October 2007  
Casa Bartowski  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

It was his birthday. Another year gone. Ellie was on a sleepover at a friend's house. She always made herself scarce on his birthday. It was his time to wallow 'in a pity pile'. Actually, it was his time to think back, use the damned eidetic memory he'd been cursed with, and review as much of his time with Jill as he could. His mind was his own VCR, complete with inerasable tapes.

But not tonight. Tonight he was going to conduct a 'great experiment'. He'd sent the email from his computer on post and looked at the icon signifying an email with attachments. He finished his drink and put on his polarized glasses and leaned back in his chair and prepared to push 'ENTER' when Carol walked in.

"Chuck, what are you doing in here in the dark? Can I turn on the light? Hey, talk to me. What's the problem, honey?"

"Carol, this is my office. Get out. Close and lock the door and don't come back until I call you or 8am, which ever comes first."

"But Chuck…"

"Get out!"

He heard the door close and pressed 'ENTER' and the screen lit up and images began pouring from the screen into his mind. He screamed and then must have blacked out.

* * *

He heard Casey banging on the door and yelling his name. He pulled himself out of the chair and unlocked and opened the door.

"Chuck, what have you done? Beckman's on the phone. Someone dumped the intersect files to an email and then the system crashed and the crystals are shot."

"Casey, I downloaded the intersect database, all of it. It's all up here now." He pointed to his head and grinned. "It worked! The whole thing in just a few minutes…"

"Few minutes? It's 10am, Chuck. Carol called me at 8am but I couldn't break free. I just got here. You've been out for more than 10 hours."

"Casey, I didn't know you were from Ohio? I always figured, I don't know, someplace out west."

Casey stopped and stared, shocked.

"You got that from the intersect? Holy shit, Bartowski. Beckman's going to be…I don't know – happy? Man, that's crazy. OK, so, where're the backup crystals?"

"How the hell should I know? Beckman's responsible for that. I just gave them the specs and said 'here, grow this and let me know when you're done'. Loading the data was done here and then we took the crystals to Meade. Don't tell me they didn't have a backup of the system? What kind of idiots are you people in the NSA? They should have copied the crystals into another batch. They did grow another batch, didn't they, Colonel?"

"I don't think so. Cost a fortune and took a year. You know Beckman. Probably has sex in 30 seconds. Ewww. Not a nice image. I've got to call her with the good news. You get to tell her the bad news."

"What? Why? That's…"

"Because I'm a colonel and you're a reserve major, that's why. Come on, Carol's scared to death you're dead or worse in here. She took Ellie shopping after I got here. We'll talk about how fucking stupid this was after we talk to the Colonel. You might have orphaned your kid, dumb ass!"

"Shit. I never even thought that far. Damn. I have got to think first."

* * *

**Present Time**  
**Sierra Vista, AZ**

Sarah Walker asked herself for the 100th time why she ever joined the CIA. And for the 100th time the answer was 'too piss off my dad'.

She was sitting in her new apartment drinking a glass of wine and going over her notes from her first contact with her 'mark'. He was a 'mark' to her, regardless of what Deputy Director Larkin had said. In this business, anyone not a spy was a 'mark' and he definitely wasn't a spy.

His military background came as a surprise. Two Iraqi tours, one during the 100 Hour War and the other, an abbreviated tour, during the invasion of Iraq. She read his Officer Evaluations and his various citations. The tall man in the tailored suit drinking at the bar had not been what she'd expected at all and she'd been caught totally flatfooted when he tore the Chancellor a new asshole and left.

She'd been around violent men her entire life but she'd never expected his reaction and she'd lost the initiative to make a better first contact. She'd try again before the week was out. Maybe the 'damsel in distress' ploy? She'd think about it.

She finished her glass and poured another. There was something about the mark that was off. She couldn't put her finger on it but she'd figure it out in her subconscious and the next time she asked herself this question, she'd have her answer.

**Casa Bartowski**  
**Sierra Vista, AZ**

Chuck had picked Ellie up after her practice and drove down the street a block or two and then pulled over and got out. Ellie crawled across the console of the SUV and fiddled with the seat and mirrors and was ready to shift into DRIVE the minute her dad had his 6'4" frame in his seatbelt. She flipped on the radio, and drove home, the long way, of course.

"That wasn't bad, Ellie. You just need to learn to parallel park and you'll be ready for your test." He hadn't allowed her to get a driver's license until she had a lot of road time and experience and junkets like today had proved him right.

She changed the subject. "So, Dad, anyone special at this faculty thing?"

"Nope. Same old fossils and attitudes. The Language department has added a new prof from the Defense Language Institute. She doesn't look old enough to be a grad student let alone a professor. She must have killer credentials to have gotten the chair so fast." Or connections in Washington. 'Killer creds'. He laughed to himself. He'd flashed on her. Killer indeed.

"So ask her out. Don't be a dork, Dad. She's new and probably doesn't have a friend in this town. It's not like there's all that much to do here. You could drive her around town to get the 'lay of the land'." _And maybe my dad. _After Carol left so abruptly, he'd been dateless, and not because the women weren't there, either. He just threw himself back into work and into her.

"She's too young. I'm too old. Nope. She's more likely to want to date a grad student than an old fart like me. Anyhow, what's on the agenda for the weekend? Hot date? Just please, if you're going to have a pool party let me know in advance. I'll borrow Casey's shotgun and some rock salt."

"Dad, that was just…an accident. Honestly, you older guys have no appreciation for…"

"Eleanor Faye Bartowski! Us 'older guys' were once younger guys. It was no accident that every top on every bikini in attendance 'came loose in the water'. As for appreciation…I'm your father. I _know_ what those guys had in mind. I had it once back before the dinosaurs died out. No. Shot gun and rock salt or I'll ask your Uncle Casey to chaperone."

"Ewww. No pool party. I think we're going to just chill over at Maria's house. Her parents went to Tucson and…"

"Ellie! No parent, no presence! You know the rule."

"Dad, I'm 17. I'll be going to college in the fall. If you don't let me experience life now, what'll happen when I hit UCLA? I'll be a party girl, do dope, have sex, get pregnant, drop out and become trailer trash. Isn't that what Aunt Carina always tells you?"

"Your Aunt Carina is hardly the role model for…never mind. Fine. I trust you, Ellie. Go to Maria's. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning after I run out to the Post for some sparring. If I'm going to be back in the game, I need to be in top shape, right?"

"Dad, you are in good shape…for an older guy." She giggled and smacked his arm. You better work on your cardios, you know, build up your stamina…" Another round of giggling then out and out laughter. The look on his face…

Later that evening he dropped Ellie off at her girlfriend's and headed into town to restock the liquor cabinet. He'd been hitting it pretty hard lately and between work and Ellie there'd been no time to take care of it.

He walked in and grabbed a basket and went about his business. He'd picked up his J's, Johnny Walker Red, Jim Beam and Jose Cuervo, his best friends, and then strolled down to the wine section.

"Dr. Bartowski, planning a party?" Sarah Walker cringed when her lamest line of her life burst out of her mouth. He turned and looked at her, the slightest smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Dr. Walker. I see the winos are in town again." She had several wine bottles in her basket. She'd seen some she'd never tried and decided to broaden her 'cellar' with some untried vintages.

Now it was his turn to cringe as her smile faltered a bit. _Smooth, Chuck, real smooth._

They both started talking at once. It was awkward.

"I'm sorry for the wino crack. I'm not used to socializing at the liquor store. Wait, that wasn't right either. Oh, crap. Hello, Dr. Walker. Nice seeing you again."

She laughed at his comments. His apology wasn't necessary. She did have eight bottles of wine. "Nice seeing you, too. You're the only person from the faculty mixer that I actually have seen again."

"That's because they've all gone back underground to their nests nursing their academic outrage at someone so young getting the Chair. I think it's good to bring in fresh blood. I guess that sounds hypocritical since I 'rose through the ranks' but it's true. This place is the last stop for a lot of us and we know it."

She knew this was a golden opportunity and she seized it. "I haven't eaten yet. Can you recommend a restaurant? I can't look at another Lean Cuisine."

Chuck's eyes crinkled and he chuckled. "Lean Cuisine? Oh, please. Not that. I haven't eaten either, and Ellie's out for the evening so if you wouldn't mind the company, there's a nice Italian place across town. You could follow me and, well, that's if you didn't have, I mean…"

"Shhh. That's a nice idea. We can talk about fossils and academic outrage." She thought it was cute how he rambled. She knew from his file that he wasn't involved with anyone, not since the disaster with Agent Carol Miller. He took losing his handler very hard, according to the file.

* * *

A/N: I can just feel the love from my outraged readers. I got to 'splain the setting and mindsets. Go set your filters to 'K' and find the fluff. This one's for me.


	3. Slow Dancing & Roofies

MayDecember3

Evilredknight has pointed out some major effing flaws and so I'm going to just correct things going forward. Big flaws. Story-changing flaws. I hate Evilredknight for being right. So much for charity for the handicapped. Anyhow – 'right now' is 2010. No, Sarah did not sit on her delightful tush for 2 years as ERK (no sense typing it all out) so correctly pointed out. So…there. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

APR

* * *

**March 2008**  
**FT Huachuca**  
**Sierra Vista, AZ**

Chuck got the call while he was teaching a class. He checked the caller ID and saw it was Casey. He took the call answering with a terse 'I'm in class, not now, John' and hung up and returned to his lecture. The phone rang again and again it was Casey.

"I'm in class, John. I can't…"

"It's Carol, Chuck. Get to the Post Hospital." Casey hung up.

He stood frozen for a few moments while the students of his seminar class grew uncomfortable with his silence and facial expression and one brave soul said 'Dr. Bartowski?' and broke the spell.

"Uh, class dismissed. I'm sorry. Personal emergency. I'll reschedule. Check your emails." He grabbed his briefcase and ran from the room.

"Why, Casey? How could you let her volunteer for this – this – suicide mission? I told you that it wasn't ready yet! I told you!" He was holding her lifeless hand rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb.

"Chuck, Beckman insisted on the trial. She's under a lot of pressure to get the intersect into as many agents as possible. Carol wanted – Carol needed to do this. She wanted to experience what you do and she thought maybe if she could download the intersect you two would…"

"NO! I never encouraged her. I stepped away from it, Casey. I do the science, that's all. I told Beckman it wouldn't work and I don't know why. Maybe it's me and my weird brain but I told her no more test subjects. I wouldn't allow it."

"Not your call and not your fault, either. Carol knew what she was getting in to. She did it because she was compromised and wanted something to bring you two together."

"John, I never encouraged her. I didn't love her that way. We never did anything physical. We were just friends."

"Yeah, well, she wanted more, Chuck. She wanted the intersect and she wanted you. She was incredibly compromised. She and Carina talked for hours about the two of you. I know, I know, it was all just a cover to you but it was _real_ to her."

"Casey, I need to speak with Beckman. Please make the arrangements. Uh, about Carol, uh, about the funeral and stuff…" Casey took pity on him.

"Already arranged. Her body will be sent home. Training accident. You'll have to break it to Ellie. Maybe I should have Carina do it, Chuck. You know, woman to woman."

"No. She was my 'girlfriend'. I brought her into Ellie's life. I lied to her. Made her think it was real. For her it was real. And now, I have to tell her another lie."

Beckman was not pleased with either the interruption or the results of the testing. Another 3 agents had died attempting to download the files.

"Dr. Bartowski. What do you want? I'm very busy handling this latest…disaster. Speak up, man."

"Colonel Beckman, no more test subjects. You want an agent with the intersect in his head, you got me. I'll go active with conditions. Just…no more dead agents."

"Conditions? You, an agent? What conditions?"

"I base out of here. The Post or civil airports can handle anything. I can be to a major hub like Dallas or L.A. in a few hours. Also, no more personal handlers. It's unfair to my family. I'll sortie out with Casey and any other agents you assign but my personal life is just that, personal. And you'll have to cover my ass with the University for any 'long' deployments."

"I have conditions of my own, Bartowski. One, an immediate return to active duty. You can still maintain your position at the University but I want legal control over you. Two, you continue to work on the data transfer problem and we'll continue the grants. Three, you accept a protective detail, nothing intrusive, but assigned and watching over you at all times. Agreed?"

"Agreed. No more personal live-ins. No more handlers."

"Agreed. Oh, and Major, toe the line or I'll have you back in a tank in Iraq so fast you won't even have time to say goodbye. Understand, Major?"

Chuck disconnected the conference. Casey had slipped in and heard the terms and conditions.

"Chuck, don't piss her off. She can have you in a bunker and Ellie in foster care in a heartbeat."

* * *

**Present time  
Luigi's Fine Italian Cuisine  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

"I hope it lives up to its name, Dr. Bartowski." She'd smiled when she'd pulled into the lot after him and got out of her Porsche. The name tickled her.

"It's a good restaurant. The college kids stay away and I know the owner and his family. Just don't order the house red. It's his special vintage and he claims it's deadly and very high in alcoholic content. I've had it. Best wine but worst headache I ever had."

She made up her mind. "Well, I'll have to try it. I rarely get headaches, Dr. Bartowski."

"If we're going to be sharing a meal, please, drop the academic title. It's just 'Chuck' to my friends."

"Oh, and am I a friend?" She was openly flirting and enjoying herself. He seemed to be, too.

"That remains to be seen, Dr. Walker." He smiled and her heart skipped a beat. _I wonder if he knows that when he smiles like that it makes him look 20?_

"Sarah. Sarah to my friends." Two could play the game.

"And are we going to be friends, Sarah?" Again the smile. She smiled back, her real smile, not the agent-coming-on-to-the-mark smile. She hadn't smiled like that in a long time or had reason to.

"I believe so, Chuck. Yes."

They walked in to the dark restaurant and the owner himself bustled from behind the bar to greet them.

"Chuck! You've been away too long. Come, sit and enjoy a meal. And wine." He eyed Sarah approvingly.

"Yes, Chuck, the house vintage. I've improved it since you and Miss Miller were last here. And how is she, Chuck?" He'd been eyeing Sarah and had always liked Carol who was fluent in Italian.

"She's um, she…died. Training accident out on the Flats. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it was so sudden and such a shock…" He still wasn't sure what he'd felt for Carol but he knew it was nothing like he'd felt for his wife.

Luigi was shocked and saddened and said so in Italian, too upset at having brought sadness to the couple to know he wasn't speaking English.

Sarah told him, in her Milanese accented Italian, that Chuck accepted his condolences and apology but to please not mention it again. She gave him a look that told him 'or else'.

A young girl came at his sudden call and seated the couple. Luigi went behind the bar and opened a bottle of the house red and brought it to the table. He poured wine in their glasses and then toasted them and wished them a good evening.

"Sarah, I'm sorry about that. Carol was a woman I was seeing for a while but she died in a training accident. Luigi didn't know. Please, don't let this spoil your evening. He really didn't know."

"I know. And it must have been terrible for you to have to discuss it." Her hand was on his forearm in subtle support. She maintained strict eye contact to convey her sincerity. All good spy craft courtesy of the Farm.

"Well, what would you like to try? Everything is good."

Luigi brought them appetizers and refilled Sarah's wine glass and topped off Chuck's.

"So, who is this Ellie you ran off to pick up? Another girlfriend I need to worry about?" She regretted her words immediately but he just smiled that secret smile and nodded.

"The one true remaining love of my life. My daughter. She's 17 going on 6 sometimes but most times, 17 going on 40. She's raised me as well as she could and is about to leave for UCLA in the fall." He spoke with a great deal of love and pride.

There were several more couples in the restaurant and Luigi started the music and a few of the braver souls ventured out to the dance floor. Sarah watched one couple, obviously in love, dance as if they were the only people in the world. She wanted someone in her life to make her feel that way.

"Do you dance, Dr. Bartowski?" She was bold. It had to be the wine. She felt almost giddy when he nodded and stood, offering her his hand.

"I thought we agreed, Chuck & Sarah?"

She stepped into his arms and they began to sway to the music. She felt warm and safe, comfortable in his arms. He was 6 inches taller than she was and even in her boots she had to look up to see his face.

"Are we going to be friends, Chuck? I'd really like that. I don't make friends easily. I usually don't need them."

"We can be whatever you need, Sarah. Friends, colleagues, strangers passing with a nod in the hallways. Whatever you need and want."

Without thinking she put her arms around his waist and he put his around her shoulders. Neither was uncomfortable with the sudden shift from dancing 6 inches apart to being intimately close to one another.

_This is where I belong. This is safety. This is…home._ Gone were any thoughts of seduction, of making the mark pliable. She had no idea how it had happened but she was incredibly glad it had.

_She's either the best damned honey trap in the business or the worst. She's here for a purpose. I just need to know how much of this is the job and how much the woman. I am definitely too old for this and for her. And too needy and vulnerable._ His mind was at work, turning the situation around and around, rearranging things like a Rubik's Cube searching for the right combination to explain this sudden closeness.

The song stopped and she stepped back, blushing at the sudden intimacy she'd initiated and missing it. She looked at him with such longing. What was happening to her? It had to be the wine. No more for her.

He smiled at her, almost reading her mind. "It's OK, Sarah. I warned you about the wine. It's OK."

Another slow song started and she caught Luigi's eye and he smiled. Italians were such romantics and this one was no slacker. He'd pointed to the CD player and smiled holding up 4 fingers.

She stepped back into his arms, placed her cheek against his chest and sighed, swaying with the music and reveling in her comfort. He hesitated for a second and then wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek on her head and breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

By the end of the 3rd song she was totally toast and she knew it. She was mentally running down her pre-sex checklist for the apartment when his cell rang. He apologized and took the call, saying it was 'from Ellie' with a worried look.

"Ellie, what's…who is this? OK, put Ellie on the phone. Shit. OK, I'll be there in 20 minutes. Keep her awake and away from anyone else. I'll talk to you when I get there. I'll want names, young man."

Sarah stepped away to give him privacy but heard the entire conversation. The smiling man who held her so gently while they danced morphed into a worried and irate father in seconds. She saw the look of the commander of a tank company, the intersect, the man who regularly argued, most times successfully, with the directors of the NSA and CIA when he told the guy on the phone that he wanted names.

"I'm sorry. I have to leave. Maybe some other time. I enjoyed being with you, Sarah, really, but I have to get Ellie. Something's happened to her."

"I'll go with you. You can't drive and manage a sick daughter. Please, don't argue with me. I can pick up my car later."

He nodded and threw a bunch of bills on the table and waved to Luigi on his way out the door. He'd call him later or tomorrow and apologize.

* * *

They arrived at Maria's 20 minutes later. The party was still going full blast but Chuck saw Ellie on the lap of some guy on the front steps. He burst from the car leaving Sarah trailing behind him, hurrying to catch up and stop him from killing someone.

Chuck stopped a yard from the pair. Ellie was crying and hanging on to a guy's t-shirt and he was rocking her gently telling her that Chuck was on the way and that everything would be all right and not to cry anymore.

The sound of Sarah's boots on the sidewalk drew his attention and he looked up and saw Chuck standing with his fisted hands at his side.

"Oh, shit. It's Doc Ice! Now, Dr. Bartowski, don't jump to conclusions. Someone put something in Ellie's drink and I saw her acting funny and I brought her out here and called you. Nothing happened to her, honest."

"You're in my Optics class. Damn it, you're a junior and she's way too young for you." He'd recognized the guy from one of his classes. He was on his way to UCLA med school after graduation. His folks were well heeled and well connected. He was the son of the local cardiac surgeon.

"Daddy, don't, please. Devon's a good guy. He and I, we, I mean…"

"Oh, shit."

"Daddy, he's my boyfriend."

"Chuck, calm down. We need to get her to the ER and make sure she's OK. That's the first priority. Deal with Romeo & Juliet later." She had her hand on his arm, calming him down. She couldn't imagine what was going through his mind.

"You're right, Dr. Walker, of course. Devon, come out to the house tomorrow and we'll talk about this once she's feeling better and I have a chance to cool down. Seriously, we'll talk. Tomorrow. But why didn't you just take her to the ER yourself?"

He pointed to his 'ride'. A motorcycle.

"Oh, yeah, of course. Well, thanks for calling me. You did the right thing."

He relieved him of his daughter and asked Sarah to drive and he'd give her directions. "Then you can take off. You don't need to hang around wasting your ruined evening. I'll get you a cab."

Again, she touched his hand. "I can't think of anywhere else I want to be. You need someone to keep you in check, Doc Ice." She laughed. Now she had a face to go with the comments she'd heard from some of the coeds about that 'dreamy Doc Ice' and how they'd love to thaw him out in various ways.

"If you're sure, I'd like the company. Just until she's able to walk and talk…and explain things to her old man, the one in the dark with his head up his ass. Damn it. She used to tell me anything at all knowing I wouldn't judge her. What's happened to my little girl?"

She knew but also knew he didn't want to hear it. "She's growing up, Chuck. You saw how she was with that guy. If she's half as smart as her father, nothing's happened between them. She doesn't strike me as the kind of girl to be…loose. You raised her right." Damn it. She'd said it anyway. His little girl was becoming a woman and daddies were always the last to let go.

Sarah was back in her apartment 2 hours later. The ER had given her some medicine that made her vomit and then given her a quick physical and released her to her father. Chuck had driven her back to Luigi's and then walked her to her car.

"Sarah, thanks a million for everything tonight. I'm sorry dinner was a bust but maybe we could, I mean, if you're not um seeing someone, maybe we could do it again?"

"Yeah. I'd like that. Soon, Chuck. Like tomorrow night?" Ouch! She could have kicked herself in the ass for being so needy but she was and she needed him.

"Yeah. That's good. I'll pick you up at your place and then want to finish what we started at Luigi's? I mean, um, the meal?"

"Yeah, definitely Luigi's. And I want to continue what we started, Chuck. It was a great beginning. Tell Ellie I said 'get well' and I'll see you tomorrow night about 7?"

"Works for me."

Impulsively and without really thinking, Sarah stood on her tiptoes and pressed a warm kiss against his lips, then smiled against them and stepped back and looked at him. "Now you don't have to agonize over the good night kiss for tomorrow night. It's your turn, Chuck." She smiled brightly and drove off leaving a confused and aroused man in her wake.

What just happened?

He drove out to their place and put Ellie to bed and poured himself a whiskey and added a little water. He had a lot to think about.

Why did Bryce send him a 'secret handler' knowing full well the 'rules'? And why send an agent whose every past assignment was infiltration, seduction and assassination? And just who had he pissed off so damned badly?

* * *

APR


	4. Naked Souls Fully Clothed

MayDecember4

* * *

Ellie Bartowski looked and felt like crap. She'd slept through the night but had been awakened a little past sunrise by extreme nausea and had stumbled into her bathroom just in time to avoid making a mess. She crawled back into bed and wondered how long it would be before her father spoke to her again. All in all, it had been quite the night.

'_Oh, crap. Devon. He knows about Devon and me. Now he definitely won't speak to me. I hate his long silences. He must be so disappointed in me.'_

She rolled over and looked out her window at the miles of nothing between her and Mexico.

Chuck stood outside his daughter's room wondering if he should just walk in and make her talk or if just waiting her out was the right thing to do. Devon would be showing up in a few hours and he didn't want her looking like crap for her… He sighed. Boyfriend. Obviously it was a serious relationship that had been going on right under his nose for a while. Some parent he'd turned out to be.

He went downstairs to the kitchen and made coffee and sat in the nook looking south toward the miles and miles of nothing between him and Mexico.

* * *

Sarah woke and stretched, enjoying the memories of the previous night right up to when she drove out of Luigi's parking lot. She should have made her move and gone home with him and his daughter. He'd need some emotional support this morning. Her boyfriend came as a complete surprise to him and she could tell the secret had hurt him. Trust was a big issue with Bartowski.

_And here I am, undercover, working my way into his life and lying with almost every breath I take. Some relationship foundation this was turning into. _

'_Chuck, I'm a spy sent to guard you and Ellie.' _

_Or I could try 'Chuck, I lied to you. I'm really here because Bryce Larkin is worried about you and thought you needed someone to keep you happy between the sheets and take your mind off the problems you're having.' _

_Or there's always the truth. 'Chuck, I was sent here to protect you and Ellie from any harm. But I can't protect you because…' No. Definitely not the truth. Neither of us is ready for the truth. And I'm not sure just what the truth is anymore._

Her cell rang. "Walker, secure."

"Why the hell was my Goddaughter taken into the ER last night, Walker? What part of your brief did you not understand?"

"Director Larkin, Bartowski and I were at dinner. I followed your instructions and have been initiating a fledgling relationship. He got a call and we, repeat, we, went and picked up his daughter, Ellie, and took her to the ER. Someone slipped her a roofie and her boyfriend got her out of there unharmed. She's fine, Director Larkin."

"Dinner, huh? What do you think of Bartowski so far, Agent Walker. Be candid and frank."

"He's living several lives, loves his daughter, is an extremely popular professor and he has too many irons in the fire. He's a decent man."

"Thank you for your report, Agent." The line went dead and she now had other concerns. Why the secrecy? How did Larkin know Ellie had been admitted to the ER?

* * *

**Casa Bartowski  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

Chuck sat drinking his cup of cold coffee and letting his mind free associate. It was a problem solving skill he'd mastered a long time ago. Ellie was a problem. Sarah Walker was a problem. The intersect downloading methodology was a problem. He was a problem…for someone.

Sighing and rinsing his cup out in the sink he walked upstairs to her room and knocked at the door. "Ellie, time to get up and cleaned up. Devon's probably on his way and you don't want him to see you looking like crap."

"OK, I'm up."

He walked into his own bedroom and closed the door. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to do.

It was just past 9 when Ellie knocked softly at her father's closed bedroom door.

"Daddy, Devon's about a mile out. Can I talk to him first before you start yelling at him? I'm going to break up with him. You're right. He's too old for me and…and I think this is the best thing to do." You could see the main road from the house. He bought this house after Jill died for just that reason. And the price.

He opened the door and walked downstairs with her.

"Is that what you really want, Ellie?"

"It's what you want so it's what I want. I know you're disappointed in me for not telling you but you'd just have said 'No' so what difference does it make?"

"The difference is that you didn't give me a chance to say 'Yes', either, Ellie."

* * *

Two hours later, a delighted but confused Devon Woodcomb rode back into town with Ellie Bartowski sitting behind him with her arms wrapped around him. There were rules to be followed and there was to be no more lying – ever.

Not even 11am and he'd solved one of the world's most vexing problems – dealing with a teenager in the throes of a first love. He felt he'd handled it pretty well. But now he had another problem: Sarah Walker.

They'd exchanged cell numbers and so he dialed hers, not thinking about the protocol he'd dialed: Agent-to-Agent.

"Walker, secure." _Oh crap, it's him. Oh crap, I used the wrong protocol. Wait, __he__ used the wrong protocol._

"Well, now that the cat's out of the bag and confirmed, Agent Walker, about dinner tonight…"

"I understand, Dr. Bartowski, why you're calling to cancel…"

"I have to be here, Sarah, because Ellie's plans have changed. I was hoping you wouldn't mind having dinner here. I cook. And I promise, no foolishness. I'm much too old for…" She heard a hesitation, then a sigh. "Sarah, will you have dinner with me, here, tonight?"

"You don't want to cancel? I mean, well…"

"Yes or no, Sarah. Or would Agent Walker or Dr. Walker be more appropriate?"

"What time? How do I find you, I mean it, your house? And yes, damn you, it's still Sarah & Chuck…I mean if that's OK."

"I'd prefer it. I'll email you directions. Extremely casual dress. Bring a bathing suit if you don't mind a chill after using the pool. And because we'll be telling each other lies and drinking, bring your overnights. I have 5 bedrooms and Ellie will eventually be here to chaperone if you fear for your reputation."

"What time?" She was definitely on shaky ground. He was more assertive and less hesitant than last night.

"As soon as you'd like. I think swimming in the sunlight beats the cool of the evening and we do have things to discuss."

"Email me directions. An hour too soon? I'd like a swim before the sun goes down."

They were fencing, seeking tactical advantage and strategic options. It wasn't even noon yet.

Oh, yes. Dinner would be very interesting.

* * *

Sarah's apartment was a mess. Every thing she owned that was vaguely 'casual' had been rejected and was piled on her bed. She'd toyed with the idea of just wearing her bikini but thought that was pushing things.

Desperate, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a man's blue work shirt, preparing to go shopping and then stopped. She liked what she saw in the mirror and then started to laugh when she thought of the look on his face. The jeans were very stylish in Paris having strategically placed 'worn and torn' spots but she doubted they'd fly here in Sierra Vista.

Still, jeans were jeans so she pulled out a pair of tight but faded jeans, kept the shirt, slipped on a pair of ballet slippers and grabbed her overnight bag and ran to her car. She felt like…smiling a lot for no good reason at all.

His email directions were succinct and included GPS coordinates so she just plugged those into the system and laughed. His route was shorter and faster than the system's plus he'd noted that there were no speed traps but to keep her speed on the down side of 140mph.

Chuck's concession to fashion was that he shaved, something he normally did on Friday morning and again on Monday morning. The weekends at Casa Bartowski were 'no shave' zones. He hated to shave.

* * *

The proximity alarm on the road gate chimed and he strolled out the front door onto the Spanish style patio and waited for the 'blue flash' to appear in the roundabout.

He glanced at his watch and grinned. It was a little past noon and here she was. Still grinning, he walked down to the Porsche and took her bag and walked with her into the house. His 'inner man' appreciated her definition of 'casual'.

"This is all yours? This place is huge. And so many windows. You can see…"

"Mexico. Not really but you can almost see the border area from the 2nd floor lanai. Yes, it's ours. Really too big for just the two of us but someday…" his voice tapered off and he had a strange smile on his face.

"Someday what, Chuck?" She was genuinely curious.

"Grandchildren. Ellie's and Devon's most likely."

"Chuck, wasn't Devon the guy she was…"

"Yep. Talked to them both this morning. Laid out the ground rules and sent them on their way. Don't take this wrong, but she's spending the night at a friend's. Her mother called and OK'd it. But I'll understand if you feel uncomfortable spending the night here without…"

"But you said he was too old for her. You said…"

"I said a lot of things but I saw something this morning and I changed my mind. I had to. I was wrong."

"What did you see?"

"The Look. The same look her mother used to give me before we married. It's true love, Sarah, and I'm not going to stand in its path and get mowed down and lose a daughter in the process. I trust her. She won't betray my trust."

Sarah felt sick to her stomach. After last night she'd hoped to make headway in her mission but his words today stopped her dead in her tracks and almost brought tears to her eyes.

Chuck noticed her distressed look and put his arm around her shoulders. He'd hurt her feelings without meaning to but he had and it made him feel bad. She had a job to do. He just didn't know if he'd be able to figure out just what it was before too much longer or before it was too late.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to be so maudlin. We're having steaks, baked potatoes and a spinach salad if that's all right with you. You, sweetie, get to make the salad but right now, lose the clothes and hit the pool. You know you're dying to get in some laps."

She was but it was his lap she wanted to get in. Maybe she could just talk to him and explain her situation. He seemed like a reasonable enough guy. And she wanted to spend more time with him. She just didn't know how to swing it yet.

She turned into him, surprised that he was as close as he was. "About tonight, Chuck, we'll see. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or give Ellie the wrong impression."

He nodded and smiled. She loved the way his eyes crinkled and… shit. Who was she kidding? She wanted to spend the night here, with him, together.

Chuck showed Sarah to her room and then went down to the kitchen to marinate the steaks in his secret ingredient…Italian salad dressing. He smirked when he remembered the first time they'd grilled steaks in the carport of the ratty married student-housing unit at Stanford. _Stop. Don't go there. That will only lead to more heartache._

He turned and froze. She'd walked back down the back stairs into the kitchen after changing into her suit. She looked…incredible. A white bikini and a silk robe were all she wore and he suddenly felt the burden of each of his 42 years. With her hair tied back and dressed as she was, she looked more like a coed than a professor. He sighed but managed a smile.

"Chuck, is something wrong?" She took in the look of pleased surprise and then a flicker of sadness before he'd schooled his features and smiled at her.

"Nope. Looking at you…you're incredible. It makes an old man wish for younger days, that's all." She did look incredible. She was sex on two legs, a brain and a beautiful body, a deadly combination. Her smile sent his blood flowing south and made him slightly stupid. This is what made her the deadly assassin she was.

'_There it was again. The age thing. I'm not that much younger'_. She found people her own age to be basically selfishly naive, self-centered, pleasure-seeking drones easily manipulated by the media and each other. She'd always preferred older men and now she'd found one she wanted.

He'd slipped from 'mark' to 'target' to 'quarry' in just a few days. She'd gone from coolly self-assured agent on assignment to a young woman trying to get the attention and affection of an older man.

"I hope you brought sunscreen, Sarah."

"Huh?" Her mind had been miles away. If this had been a seduction assignment she'd have been in the water already and then out again, allowing him to watch her pleasure as she lolled by the pool, not a brain cell in her head. But Chuck was different and so was she.

"Sunscreen. Y'know, the stuff that fair maidens use to avoid looking like lobsters from the sun. Did you bring any?"

"No. I didn't even think about it." _I was concentrating on finding the right clothes and little else. I lost focus._

"No problem. I'll scrounge some up from Ellie's bag of secret ingredients. I'll be right back. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge, liquor cabinet or pantry. This is your home for the day, Sarah. I want you to feel comfortable here. The wine's in the 'cellar' there behind the pantry."

She smiled and nodded. _Home. I was there in his arms last night. I want to go home again. _

She walked out through the French doors onto the patio and kicked off her sandals and dropped the robe and dove into the water, surprised at its coolness but enjoying the freedom it offered. Now to begin the seduction of Dr. Charles Bartowski, college professor, father, and spy.

* * *

**I know, I know, but I'm working on a deadline here.**

**APR**


	5. The Naked Truth

MayDecember5

A/N: I have a personal deadline to meet. Read, enjoy, whatever. Have to be done with this and the others.

APR

* * *

Although she'd never admit it even under severe torture, Carina Casey had always had a thing for Chuck Bartowski, her husband's best and possibly only friend. She'd kept it under control, never slipping, never even considering what she'd been considering of late – seducing Chuck and giving him what he really needed – a good screwing. She knew for a fact that he'd been disgustingly celibate since his wife had died. It was his way but not hers. Definitely not hers.

She was surprised to see a car, a Porsche no less, in the roundabout when she pulled up to the house. She was also surprised he hadn't met her at the door as he'd always done in the past. She had a key to the house. They were partners on the occasional missions he required a 'wife' or girlfriend. She missed those.

* * *

Chuck was sitting on the pool patio enjoying the sun and his guest. She moved through the water effortlessly and he wished he could join her but knew that would be a bad move. He couldn't hear the proximity alarm and so he didn't know that Casey's wife had arrived and was currently standing in the kitchen watching him through the French doors. From her position in the kitchen she couldn't see Sarah swimming along beside the pool wall doing laps.

She toyed with the idea of approaching him from behind, naked, and slipping around into his lap and had just started unbuttoning her blouse when she saw his 'guest' pull herself out of the pull and begin to squeeze the water from her long blonde hair. So much for her idea. Well, there would be other opportunities.

She walked out onto the patio and started to say hello when the blonde swimmer turned and she saw who it was. Sarah-what-the-hell-is-she-doing-here-Walker! The CIA's premier leg-spreader and all around whorish seductress whose reputation boiled down to "fuck 'em and then kill 'em".

Chuck was in trouble and probably didn't even know it.

Feeling evil, she walked up behind Chuck's chair and reached her arms around him and whispered "Hello, lover" in his ear and then flicked his lobe with her tongue. His reaction was immediate and physical.

He leaped up almost dragging her with him and turned, beet red, and sputtering.

"God damn it, Carina Casey, how many times do I have to tell you not to do that? Jesus…" The rest was lost in a sputtering of syllables that made no sense to a laughing Carina. Had she really been on her game, she'd have seen the narrowing of eyes and the tightening of lips on the face of her competition. Sarah Walker was not pleased.

"Oh, Chuck, I'm sorry. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to surprise you again. You do that 'sputtering and stammering' so well." Then to Sarah Walker, with narrowing eyes that said anything but 'Hi, I'm Carina Casey, a family friend. And you're…?" _'A CIA killer whore!_

"Sarah Walker. Chuck invited me over for a swim and dinner." '_Chew on that, DEA slut'. _

"How nice! Chuck, I came to borrow one of Ellie's dresses, OK? John's promotion party is next week. You're going to come, aren't you?"

Then to Sarah, "It's one of the few times he'll wear his uniform even though he's technically on active duty. Say, why don't you come along as Chuck's date? Protect him from all the horny officers' wives and some of the single female officers."

"I – I – I haven't been asked." She looked at Chuck for a clue or direction but he was glowering at the DEA slut.

"Sarah, would you really like to go – with me, I mean? The food's raunchy but there're good friends, free booze and dancing. Um, I really sorta havta show up since Casey's getting promoted to full bull chicken."

He looked incredibly adorable when he spoke to her. She had no choice, not really. She'd never say 'No' to spending an evening with him.

"I'd like that very much. Is it formal, Carnivora?" '_A bitch-slap courtesy of the CIA, DEA slut'._

"Not really. I'm sure you can dig up a little black cocktail dress from your whore-drobe, I mean WARDrobe." '_Back atcha, CIA pig fucker'._

"Ladies! I guess you know each other? And don't care for each other's company either from the tone and comments. Carina, you know where Ellie's closet is. Help yourself and then let yourself out. I'll call you later in the week for details. Now, I have a guest to entertain, _partner_, so you'll have to excuse us." He shooed her towards the kitchen French doors.

Sarah's cheeks were red and her eyes were tear-filled but she stood her ground. "Chuck, maybe I'd better go. This might not have been the best idea." _'Partner? He is/was her partner? What the fuck?'_

"Going to let her run you off? Ruin our evening? I know everything about you, Sarah Walker. Everything. I've known since I flashed on you at the faculty mixer. Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'm sure Bryce briefed you on my 'special talents'."

Now she was torn between being afraid of what he knew and being angry that he knew it. And she felt out of control and that was not a good thing for a CIA agent to feel.

"Sarah, I like you. You're nice to be around and I don't have to play a role with you. I'd like you to stay but not if you're going to be uncomfortable around me. And don't worry about Casey's party. I've gone stag since, well, I've never taken a date to any function, either on post or at the University. You'd have been my first date since Jill died."

"You don't want to take me to the party?" Now she was questioning everything that had happened even before the DEA skank had shown up.

"Of course I do. I want to spend time with you and the party's the perfect opportunity for you to meet people from my 'other life'."

"I'll go with you on one condition, Chuck." _His first date since his wife died?_

"And that is?" _Is nothing straightforward with her?_

"Go upstairs, put on a bathing suit and swim with me. It's no fun alone. And I'm staying the night. You're right. I shouldn't let her comments bother me. You know all about me. Tonight I want to eat, dance, drink and hear all about Chuck Bartowski, Mad Scientist and War Hero and Father and about Ellie and her mom. OK?"

"That's it?"

"Yep. I'm easy." '_Oh, shit, Sarah, be careful what you say around him!'_

He had a twinkle in his eye and he could see Carina glaring at him from the kitchen. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "That remains to be seen, doesn't it, Sarah?"

She turned beet red, smiled, and then impulsively threw caution to the wind and kissed him, a wet, open-mouthed kiss of promise and pleasure. He stiffened but then relaxed and met her, his tongue tickling her lips and his hands rubbing small circles on the wet flesh of the small of her back.

'_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck'. Carina knew when she was beaten. She'd have to tell John about the CIA whore. Chuck's security detail might need beefed up. She took one last glance at the kissing couple and left, thoroughly disgusted with the situation._

She was purring. She was sure she was purring. She could feel the vibration in her diaphragm as they breathed in concert. She never wanted to move again. To hell with the world. She was home.

When he broke the kiss she moaned at the loss and then opened her eyes and met his. His eyes were smoldering and she could feel his arousal against her stomach.

"Chuck, swim suit. Please?"

"Uh, yeah, OK. Don't leave. I'll be right back."

"Like I could move my legs even if I wanted to? You are a crazy man, Chuck Bartowski." _And you're mine, not hers. 'Partner'? I'll ask. He'll tell. He is honest. I'm the liar in this pair. Never had a date since his wife died? Oh, my._

Chuck dreaded doing as she asked. It meant – it meant pity and possibly revulsion. He didn't want to do it. He couldn't do it. He was a coward. Sighing, he walked back down stairs to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.

He looked out at his guest, lying on the chaise lounge. There had been so much promise there. Who was he kidding? Whether it was naked in bed or wearing swimming trunks, the result would be the same. Not even Ellie, hell, _especially_ not Ellie, had seen his souvenirs. He didn't have the courage to start now.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. '_Best nip this in the bud'._

He'd find out her mission someday, probably when she completed it and he fell down dead.

He walked out onto the patio and over to where she was sunning herself. She looked up at him curiously.

"Chuck? You can't swim in jeans and shoes. What…?"

"Sarah, I don't, I mean, I can't, that is…" He sighed. He sat down beside her on the chaise lounge and took her hand in his. He placed it under his t-shirt palm down and then pushed it up over his chest to his shoulder. He felt her warm palm suddenly flinch as she tried to stop her hand's progress but he fixed her with a burning stare and just pushed harder until her palm was resting on what he'd come to call 'the spaghetti bowl'.

He saw the look in her eyes.

"You didn't even need to see them to be repulsed. No one's seen them, ever, except the medical staff and, of course, Carina."

"How…"

"Tank got popped by a bunch of Iraqi T-72s, blow-out panels didn't and we cooked off. I got out. No one else did. Advantage sitting in the command turret. Happened the same day Jill died so she never had to see them."

She had tears in her eyes. He was hurt. He was _hurting_.

Sarah reached down and grabbed the t-shirt and before he could react she pulled it over his head. A dinner plate-sized mass of burn scars covered his left pec and shoulder and down his arm almost to the elbow. She remembered seeing him rubbing his shoulder at the mixer and now she knew why.

"Oh, Chuck…" She leaned forward and kissed the scar, hearing his gasp and then he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back. He grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it back on, shrugging it into place. "No, Sarah."

She stood up and grabbed his right hand by the wrist and whispered, "Come with me, Chuck." She led him upstairs to the bedroom at the end of the hall, his bedroom. She pushed him down on the bed and then shrugged off her bikini.

"Look closely. You'll see a fine network of scars, straight scars. I've had 3 plastic surgeries to regain what you see. Once I looked almost as bad as you do. It's different with women, Chuck. You burned your body but women get burned in their soul. So much in our society is based on looks, beauty, glamour and it's all _BULLSHIT!"_

The vehemence in her voice was unmistakable. She'd paid her price. Now he had to pay his.

He stood, pulled off the t-shirt and then his jeans and boxers and stood before her, waiting for the inevitable.

"Chuck, I'm not going to run away from a few scars. I'm here for as long as you want. Now, put on your swim suit and I'll put on mine and we'll swim. Then we'll catch some rays and I'll need your help with the lotion on my back and legs. It's going to be fine, Chuck. We're going to be fine."

She ignored his tears but honored his courage. She couldn't have done it. Not in a million years.

That's why she had this assignment. Larkin knew. He knew we had more in common than most people. Cunning bastard.

* * *

APR


	6. Slow Dancing on Bicycles

MayDecember6

"I'm telling you, John Casey, Chuck is in serious trouble. That CIA whore is waltzing around in a bikini and is leading him around by his dick. He's our friend and we're also responsible for him and even though you're off the Project, I'm still his partner. I think we need to do something. You know her reputation. Chuck's in deep shit."

"I'll check unofficially with Beckman and get a sense of how she perceives things. You know you do tend to overreact where Chuck's concerned. He's a big boy now, Carina. He's done very well and recently his work and record have drawn review and approval by some very special people. Our boy's going places."

"To the grave if her record is half as accurate as the files and gossip indicate. Johnny, he's in over his head. He's not emotionally ready to deal with the shit she'll put him through. I don't know who assigned her to him or why but I'm going to find out. The intersect host should be living on post not out there in Bonanza land."

"Carina, drop it. You're obsessing again. He's my friend and I owe him a lot and I don't take his safety and security lightly. I said I'll talk to Beckman in the morning and I will. Now, drop it."

She stalked off to the bedroom grumbling under her breath that nothing better happen to him or else.

Casey took out his cell phone and dialed a number he rarely used.

"Larkin, secure."

"Casey, secure. Bryce, what's up with Agent Walker and Chuck Bartowski? He's not her mark, is he? Bryce, he's not up for a sanction, is he? You owe him and so do I."

"Casey, she's there to protect him, to get close and go as far with it as she can. It's a change of pace for our Black Widow. She's no longer assigned to sanctions or assassinations. John, she's on the edge. If anyone can pull her back and center her, it's Chuck. They're mirror images of each other and both will benefit from a relationship."

"Larkin? You're playing matchmaker? Have you been at the Lotus again? And besides, Bartowski's too old for her. He'll eventually figure it out and then there'll be hell to pay. You know how he is about his 'privacy'."

"John, I owe him. He's been alone and gone through a lot and it's my fault Jill's dead. You know what happened. I had a hell of a time scrubbing it from the intersect. It would have killed him so soon after Iraq."

"Fine. What does she think her mission is? She's not running a honey trap on him, is she? I will not allow you to do that to him."

"She thinks she's 'protective detail, secondary'. He'll figure it out eventually and by then it'll be too late. He'll be safe at last and no one will be able to touch him again. Isn't that what we all want?"

"I owe him for Iraq and for introducing me to my wife. I'll watch the op for now but it better not blow up in his face. I know where you live, Larkin. And if I know Chuck, he's already written off her 'interest' as a 'daddy complex' or something similarly moronic. For a scary smart dude he can be really stupid sometimes."

He hung up, confused and uncertain. Maybe he needed to flush out this Walker and find out just what her game was.

* * *

**Casa Bartowski  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

She wasn't normally a touchy-feely person on her own time but she found herself unable to keep her hands off her host. Right now she was holding his hand, rubbing circles into the palm with her thumb and wondering again how he could even move his shoulder with those tight scars. Lying on the lounger on his stomach she could see the full extent of his injury.

"Y'know, Chuck, now that we've seen each other naked, I think we should just forego clothing altogether for the rest of the weekend. What do you think?"

"I think you were being devious and checking to see if I was awake. Although the idea of you prancing around in your birthday suit does have a certain appeal to me, Sarah, I can't spend all day laying on my stomach in order to preserve my dignity."

She pondered his comment for a bit then started to giggle and then laugh.

"You're pretty funny sometimes, Chuck. For a full professor of something as esoteric as 'cybernetics' you have quite the sense of humor."

"Is this discussion going someplace, Agent Doctor Walker, CIA, or are you just filling in the pregnant pauses between our normal comments?"

"You ramble when you're nervous, I tend to talk."

"Do I make you nervous, Sarah?" The damned scars.

"Yeah, sometimes you do."

"Are you uncomfortable with this, Sarah?" He gestured broadly, meaning 'being here'.

"With you? Nope. I'm nervous because I really like you and I really like the concept of 'us' and I'm nervous I'll do something to screw it all up. Pathetic but it's the truth."

"I'm beginning to sizzle, Sarah. Let's go in and start dinner. You, young lady, have a spinach salad to make after your shower. Your hair will turn green from the chemicals in the pool. Take your time. We have nothing but time and all night. Well, I meant, nothing pressing, not, um, y'know, you and I and all night. Oh shit, you know what I meant. Go. Shower. You're nice and pink."

She pressed a kiss into his shoulder and slipped on her sandals and robe and wiggled her butt at him and laughed at his blush and went up to shower. He was seriously thinking of a brief nap out on the patio but his cell phone ruined the moment.

"Bartowski, secure."

"Larkin, secure. Chuck, how are things going for ya? I called about Ellie's graduation present. I was thinking we could go halvsies on a car? She'll need reliable transportation at UCLA."

"Bryce, that's a nice thought. But graduation isn't why you called, is it? I'm too old for your games. Why is Sarah Walker, assassin and honey trap, running an op against me?"

"Shit. How long have you known?"

"Since the faculty mixer. I flashed on her. All the stuff you told her you took out of her file is still in there. Shame on you for lying to her. Now, why is she here?"

"You're her last job, Chuck. She's burned out. She hasn't bounced back after her…after she was hurt, not like she should have. She's lost the edge and if she goes out again she won't come back. Be nice to her. She's a lot like you, Chuck. Her orders are to establish a relationship if she feels comfortable with it and stay close. What she does is her own business. She's just there to make sure nothing happens to you or Ellie."

"You profiled me and found her? That's cold, Larkin, cold even for you."

"Chuck, she's only got 12 months left on her contract and she knows it won't be renewed. Her job at ASU is legit. You're the extra-curricular element. So, has she made contact?"

"Yeah. You could say that. She's naked upstairs in my shower."

"It's about damned time, Chuck. So, does she know you know?"

"Yep."

"How'd she take it?"

"She's up stairs in the shower, Bry, how do you think she took it?"

"My God, you're serious! What are you going to do about the decorations?"

"She's seen them and we're OK. Bryce, how did she get hers? We played 'I'll show you mine if…' and I saw hers."

"Sarah was in Belgium, working a mark who was a banker for Fulcrum's operations in Europe. Her cover got blown and they had her for a month. She's pretty fragile, Chuck. Don't push her too hard or fast. Fulcrum almost finished her off. She was in the hospital for quite some time then back to Europe but she'd lost her edge so I recalled her."

"We're going to Casey's promotion party next week. Is that pushing? I don't want to hurt her."

"Sounds good. Be good to yourself, Chuck. She's a wonderful woman and she asked for this assignment."

"Bryce, when did you become such a damned yenta?"

"Since I realized life is too short to wait for the next time. There aren't many left at our age."

"I'll think about the car. I'll get back with you. Are you coming to graduation?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

After drying her hair, Sarah debated and pulled on a thong and a sundress. After putting on her makeup and brushing her hair, she wandered down to check on her man friend. She laughed the whole way down the stairs. _Man friend, my ass._

Dinner was quick and easy and they drank wine and talked about school, their pet peeves at ASU and finally got around to the elephant in the room.

"Chuck, I like you. I want to keep this going. How do you feel about me and this thing we have?"

"Blunt, aren't we, Sarah?" He laughed when she blushed but she held her ground.

"Chuck…"

"I want to be with you and see where this goes. I feel very comfortable around you. You're beautiful, smart, and we have a lot in common. We like the life we live and are comfortable with it."

She reached across the table and took his hand and smiled. "Dance with me? I saw the sound system in the family room. I want to feel comfortable like I did at Luigi's. I haven't felt that way with any man but you in a long time."

"You pick the music. Nothing too strenuous. Us older guys do have limitations."

_There he is with the age thing again. Does he really think he's too old for us to have something? _

Without heels, she found that she and Chuck fit together nicely, like puzzle pieces. They moved around the room, slowly, together, and finally toward the end of the hour she asked him the question that had been nagging at her.

"Chuck, what's your relationship with Carina Casey? I knew her back when she was Carina Hansen."

"She's my dear friend and we partner on ops. Casey's off the team so I got her by default. She has tremendous skills and I trust her. And to answer the unasked question: no, I have not had sex with her. I've slept with her on missions but that's all we did, sleep. So put the green eyed monster to rest, Sarah."

She moved closer to him, still swaying to the music, her arms around him. "I was jealous. I admit it. I don't have the right but I felt – I don't share well, Chuck. With me it's exclusive, monogamous, no body else."

"So I have to break up with all the others? Seriously? The cheerleaders, the TA's, the occasional freshman, and even Dr. Pruitt from the English department? That will be especially hard. We've been going at it for years like energizer bunnies with the batteries in backwards."

"Yes, all of them. Especially Dr. Pruitt. I'm especially jealous of older women, sweetie, with their walkers." Dr. Pruitt was 70 and retiring with her partner to some gay-friendly community in Northern California. She was a committed nudist and the subject of much humor.

"There's only one Walker I'm interested in right now. So, little girl, want to see my etchings?" The eyebrows danced and she giggled.

"I'd rather see your bedroom again, Chuck, maybe get the guided tour? Last time was brief and we had other things to accomplish."

"That's where I keep the etchings, the claw foot bathtub and…" He was rambling.

"What time is Ellie due back tomorrow?"

"Probably early. About 9 or so. Why?"

"I don't want to create a bad first impression if she finds us wrapped around the sheets." She heard him swallow convulsively and she sighed and pulled him closer, moving with the music.

"Chuck…it's like riding a bicycle. You never forget how. And if you fall, I'll be right there to catch you. We have all night and all the time in the world."

But they didn't. His cell phone rang and he answered it after seeing the caller ID.

"Bartowski, secure but in public."

"Beckman. Post Command Center for briefing. 30 minutes." She disconnected.

"Sarah, something's come up. Business. I need to leave but please, don't go. I'll wrap it up as quickly as possible and we can pick this up where we left off. Unless you'd rather go and I'll call you?"

"Chuck, it's business. You go. Be safe. I'll let myself out after cleaning up a bit. Call me when you can. And come back, please? I've never been on this end of a partnership where I get left behind. It'll take some adjustment on my part."

"Hey, no problems. I always come back. Bartowski the Boomerang. I have to change." He turned to go but she grabbed him and pulled him into a deep, toe-curling kiss.

"Go. Call me when you can. Watch your ass, Boomerang. I want to finish what we've started."

"Me too."

* * *

John Casey postponed his promotion party. His wife was overdue on a mission with Bartowski and he was out of the loop except for periodic reports he'd gotten from back-channel sources. He'd passed what little information he'd gleaned on to Sarah Walker. She'd been an almost-constant pain in the ass since they'd left but he was convinced of her sincerity.

Ellie had stayed with John for a few days but getting her back and forth to school had proven to be too much and so he'd reluctantly agreed to allow her to move back home to Casa Bartowski.

He was surprised and pleased when Walker had shown up, introduced herself to Ellie as Chuck's girlfriend, and moved in to stay with her for the duration. She taught her to drive her Porsche and finally let her take her driver's test. She passed and drove Chuck's Suburban back and forth to school. Walker acted more like Ellie's older sister than her father's girlfriend and they became friends and shopping buddies.

They finally had word on the missing team. Two dead and two injured, one seriously and two in good shape. No names. They were back in friendly hands and would return when conditions permitted.

* * *

"Sarah Walker." She was on her way to her last class for the day. She could not use protocol because she was walking with a group of her students.

"Call me back. Go secure. There's news." Casey was even terser on the phone than in person.

She was on the phone within seconds of the last student leaving the small seminar class.

"Casey, it's Sarah Walker, secure. What have you heard? When are they coming back? Are they all OK? Well, report, Colonel." She'd morphed into Beckman unknowingly but she was almost in tears fearing bad news.

"Two dead, two injured, one seriously, the other two are fine. That's all I know. They're back in friendly hands but the bastards won't give me any names, Sarah. I don't know if she's dead, hurt or what. I hate being on the outside."

"Any news on when they'll be back here? Or where they are? How could they be so cruel? No names? I can't handle this anymore. I can't keep lying to his daughter. I need to see him, to know he's all right. I'm his protective detail and I should have gone with them."

"Pull it together, Walker. They went with an additional two agents. It's not your job to escort him on missions, just around town. It's the nature of the business we're in. I'm postponing her damned party again. I don't care. I want her back, alive or dead. I'm going to call Larkin. He seems to have the inside track on a lot of what Chuck does. Maybe he can tell us what we want to know."

"Keep me posted, Colonel. It's been 10 days and Ellie says he's never been gone this long without calling her and she's getting scared and I don't know what to tell her."

* * *

_**A/N: Will they ever get to Casey's party? And why did Ellie get to drive Sarah's sacred and beloved Porsche when there was a Suburban in the barn? Questions, questions.**_

_**APR**_


	7. You Can't Step in The Same River Twice

MayDecember7

* * *

The Gulf Stream 3 taxied to the apron and then was towed into a special hangar. The hangar doors were then closed.

Chuck Bartowski and Carina Casey, both wearing hospital scrubs, walked wearily down the boarding ladder. Carina was immediately enveloped in her husband's arms and began to cry. Chuck looked at Casey and half smiled when Casey said 'welcome home, Chuck,' and then walked back into the Admin area to make a local call. His cell phone was lost somewhere. He didn't know exactly where and he couldn't have cared less.

He called the number he'd been afraid he'd never get to use again and waited.

"Sarah Walker."

"Hey.." His voice was scratchy and he longed for a cup of coffee and her, not in that order.

"Who is this?" She didn't recognize his voice. She was just leaving for the day after 2 boring office hours. At this point in the semester there were few counseling sessions. She was going to pick Ellie up after school and then cook dinner for them. She'd rented some videos and they planned on vegging out over the weekend.

"Sarah? It's me. Can I get…can you…please, I'm at the Post airfield. Could you pick me up?"

"Chuck? Chuck is it really you?" She felt tears building up and shook her head. No, no tears. He's back.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes. I can pull Ellie out of class if you'd like? It's just English and she's getting an 'A' already."

"Just you for right now. I need to talk with you. Please?" He sounded tired and needy, even to himself. _Get it together; you can fall apart when you're home after everyone's asleep._

"I'm leaving now. I'll be there in 10 minutes. Oh, baby, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Yeah. See ya in 10." He hung up the phone and sat down to wait.

* * *

She pulled up to the Post Main Gate and the MPs waved her through. They'd been advised that 'Dr. Walker had privileges of the post' and had been a frequent visitor. Every MP knew about the 'hot blonde in the Porsche'.

He turned at the sound of his name and the stifled sob. Sarah was standing just behind him, watching him.

He held out his arms but she just looked at him, tears in her eyes, lower lip quivering, holding it all back. He lowered his arms back to his sides and walked past her to where she'd left the Porsche.

_Maybe this was a bad idea. It's been 12 days and things may have changed. Maybe she'd reconsidered and reached the conclusion that hooking up with an older guy who still ran missions was a mistake. I made an assumption and called her and now it's come back to bite me in the ass. I should have called George. He's cleared for my 'extracurricular activities'. Yeah, I should have called George. I can still call George. It wasn't too late._

He walked past the Porsche and back into the admin building and asked the airman on duty for a local town phone book. He didn't have George's number committed to memory.

Bare arms snaked around his chest and he heard 'Please. Let's go home, baby. I – I – I just want to go home and hold on to you and never let go."

He smiled at the airman and handed him back the directory. "I've got a ride after all."

She walked beside him, holding his hand in a death grip, not saying a word. She looked straight ahead until they reached her car. She opened his door and when he sat down, she slipped into his lap and straddled his thighs and hugged his neck and cried into his shoulder. He didn't know what to do so he just hugged her and rocked her until she calmed down enough to drive. He had no idea how long they'd been that way until her cell rang.

"It's Ellie. In all the excitement I forgot I was picking her up after school. Let's go get your daughter and then get you home."

"Ellie, I've just picked your dad up at the airport. We'll pick you up at the school in a few minutes. Don't make plans, please. He needs you." She hung up and started to move over to her own seat but he held on.

"I need both my girls. I'm sorry it took so long for the boomerang to come back. Things got ugly and we got…we had to…" He stopped talking and just held on for a few minutes then let her go.

Sarah drove to the school and Chuck snatched his daughter up in a bone-crushing hug and just held on. Ellie knew not to say anything. Her dad was home and that was enough.

* * *

Casa Bartowski

She'd originally planned on making a pizza and then the two girls would watch movies but she tossed that idea out and cooked a quick but delicious 'welcome home' dinner. She noticed he hadn't eaten a lot and while Ellie was on the phone with Devon she'd taken him out to the back patio and sat him down.

"You didn't eat much, Chuck. I can whip you up something easier on the stomach if you'd like." She knew that sometimes rich food after a diet of bland crap made resuming normal eating habits hard.

"No. It was fine. I just, I…I just…I'm having problems adjusting to all this. A week ago I was sleeping in 2 inches of water in a concrete hole and today…"

"Ellie's watching a DVD so if you want to go for a drive, take a nap, sit here, whatever you want to do, you can. We'll be here when you want to talk and we'll be here if you don't want to talk."

"Ellie says you've moved in, taken over watching out for her. I really don't know what to say except 'Thank you, Sarah'. Nothing else seems enough. I'm glad she had you. I'm sorry, Sarah, very sorry…" He stood and walked over to the pool and took off his shirt and pants, kicked off his shoes and socks and dove in. A few seconds later, he threw his boxers up on the patio.

Sarah turned and saw Ellie standing at the window, her mouth open and tears running down her cheeks. Sarah rushed in and led the crying teenager to the living room and sat her down.

"Ellie, listen to me. Your dad's had a bad experience. He's trying to get back here. It'll take time. Those scars are the last thing he wanted you to see. He's always hidden them away. It doesn't change who he is, Ellie. He's still your dad. He's still Chuck Bartowski."

"I wasn't upset about the scars. I've seen them before. They're gross but it's not like he had a choice, is there? I'm upset because he's hurting and I can't help him. Don't turn your back on him, Sarah. They're just scars. He needs you. I think he loves you. If…if you don't feel that way, move on, slowly, but move on. I don't think he can handle anything abrupt."

"I think I love him, too. I've seen the scars and he's seen mine. I don't want to leave. I don't want to lose him. He needs both his girls, just like he said. I'm going to get his trunks and my suit and join him. I don't want him thinking he's alone. OK?"

"I'm going to call Devon and go out and give you two some 'alone time'. I'll call before I come back. I've never seen him this…this afraid. He's always been my rock and now I have to grow up and repay him. Scars? We all have them. I better get on the phone before he makes plans."

She hugged Sarah and then ran to her room. Chuck had raised an amazing daughter.

* * *

Sarah slipped into the pool, cringing at the temperature of the water but adjusting. He'd been swimming laps, doing speed turns and taking the pool length in just a few strokes and he showed no signs of letting up. She swam over and stopped him at the next turn and handed him his suit.

"Here. You have a 17 year old daughter in there and I don't think she's totally out of the Electra phase yet so put 'em on, Chuck. She's calling Devon to come over and take her out to give us some 'alone time'. You raised a good kid, Chuck. You should be very proud."

"I am. She's great. I dread September but she's ready for the rest of her life, Sarah. She needs to see the world."

"Chuck, can I spend the night here, with you? We don't have to do anything I just want to hold on to you. OK?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way, sweetheart. I've missed you so much and sometimes you and Ellie were the only reasons I didn't give up or let the others cave. Yeah, sleeping with you is definitely something I'd like."

"Good. Let's finish up here and then warm up and just see where the evening takes us. We never did finish that dance."

* * *

Sarah wore a long t-shirt and walked into Chuck's room brushing her hair. She'd taken a shower and was debating the wisdom of pushing herself on him when he was still so rattled. She cursed herself for asking to sleep with him. She shouldn't have pushed. He needed the familiar not the novel in his life right now.

Chuck walked out of the bathroom brushing his teeth and nodded to her. He was definitely out of his league with this woman. She was a super model and he was old, scarred and broken. She should be out having fun with someone her own age not going to bed at 10pm just so some nutball can sleep. It wasn't fair to her. He was holding on to her for all the wrong reasons.

He would never forget how she's stepped in for him with Ellie while he was out saving the world that could give a shit less that he did. Two dead, two injured and Carina a bag of post-mission anxiety that would probably leave her unable to perform her most basic DEA tasks. She was done with the NSA. She'd said as much in the prison they'd been held in. He tried to keep her spirits up but knew it was a lost cause the moment she started rambling on about babies and how it wasn't too late for her.

She heard his ragged sigh and wondered what was going on in that brilliant but depressed mind of his. Was he having second thoughts about their relationship? It was only in its infancy and already had been strained almost to the breaking point. Was she asking and expecting too much from him so soon?

"Chuck, I can sleep in the guest room. This is all too much for you. I can tell. It's OK. I was being greedy and selfish and I'm sorry to have put such expectations on you. It's OK. It won't change how I feel. I'll see you in the morning. I'll make breakfast and we can talk about what's going on in that wizard brain of yours. G'night."

She walked over and kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave. It was the hardest thing she'd done in recent months – leaving the one man she felt totally at home and at peace with. She promised herself there'd be other times. They had all the time in the world.

"I'm trying, Sarah. Nothing makes sense right now. You're hot then you're cold. You say one thing but do another. I'm sure it's something I've done. Given enough time, I'll figure it out. I can understand why you're having second thoughts and don't blame you. Good night."

He slipped into bed and turned the light out. He turned on his side and gazed out the window across the miles of nothing toward Mexico.

* * *

Ellie came back a little after 11 and found Sarah sitting on the living room couch, drinking a glass of wine and occasionally brushing tears from her cheeks.

"Sarah, what's wrong? Has something happened to Daddy? Is he OK?" She went from teenager to responsible adult in 2.2 seconds.

"Your dad's fine, Ellie. He's asleep. I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself, that's all. Thanks for letting us have the 'alone time'. I appreciated it."

"Spill, Sarah. What happened to upset you so much? Did he say something?"

"I pushed too hard. I wasn't looking for sex although I wouldn't have said 'no'. Oh, shit, I shouldn't be talking to you about this. I'm going to throw my stuff in a suitcase and go home. He's…he's having problems. What he does is hard to explain…"

"Sarah, my dad's an operative with the NSA/CIA Combine. He can do something with his brain that no one else can. He goes and does stuff for the government and the Army. Sometimes people who are close to him, like Carole was, well, they don't come back. I've put all those puzzle pieces together. Aunt Carina goes with him sometimes. Uncle Casey's too old."

Sarah was shocked and it must have shown. "Ellie, that's ridiculous. Your dad's in the reserves and he teaches computer courses and engineering at ASU. I don't know where you…" She was interrupted by a pissed off 17-year old who refused to be treated like a child anymore – especially where her dad was concerned.

"You must be his new Carol or something close. You just popped up all of a sudden and here you are. And now he's broken somehow and when he really needs you, you run out on him. He's hung up on the age difference. He thinks you're 'wasting your youth' on him and he's told me a thousand times that you're way out of his league. He's not dumb, Sarah."

"No, he's anything but dumb but he's so damned stubborn…" Ellie started to laugh and Sarah glared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Eleanor Faye, it's true. He's the most stubborn man I've ever met. Once he gets his mind set on something, it's almost impossible to change it."

"My dad says 'defining the problem finds the answer'. Define the problem, Dr. Walker, while there's still time. If you're not here in the morning, thanks for babysitting me and especially letting me drive Esmeralda."

She smiled slyly and walked upstairs to her room. She'd call Uncle Casey and let him know about the war between her dad and his handler. Sometimes adults were so dense.

* * *

APR


	8. Problems, Issues, B&E, Breakfast in Bed

MayDecember8

* * *

What the hell does _'defining the problem finds the answer' _mean? Ellie's as bad as her father with those cryptic comments.

She was not a person who worked 'problems' without rendering the concept into the concrete. In other words, she wrote things down. She found a legal pad among Ellie's school things and began 'defining the problem'.

He thinks he's too old for me.

He thinks I'm out of his league – a super model.

He's confused by apparent mixed signals.

He thinks it's all for the job – his daughter certainly thinks so.

She read what she'd written and wondered if she'd really defined the problem simply enough. It appeared that even she saw multiple problems but they could be grouped into subsets. She made notes.

**He thinks he's too old for me and that he can't attract someone who looks like me.** _He's only 12 years older than I am. He acts just as old as I do and he's so 'young at heart'. He must have a poor self image if…two questions raised: why are there no pictures of Jill in the house and how do I compare with the dead wife?_

**I give mixed signals. So does he.**_ He called me to pick him up when Casey could have had someone take him home. He opened his arms to greet me and I froze. I walked in to the Admin and hugged him. When he sat in my car, I practically attacked him and cried all over him. __After dinner he did the water strip tease thing and almost lost it. I asked him if I could sleep with him and he agreed. Then I saw how moody he was and I backed off. I didn't think it through. He was probably rehashing the blown mission. Two dead. Yeah, he'd feel responsible. I left him alone to deal with it._

Stupid. I was so stupid! The last thing he should be is alone right now. He's right. Mixed signals. He's sending me 'I need you but I'm afraid for a lot of reasons' and I'm sending 'Yes, no, maybe…I don't know. Maybe you should be afraid.'

She finished her wine and set the legal pad aside. There was one place to find at least some of the answers she'd posed – his office. Ellie had told her that she'd never been in the locked room – ever. It was the only room she was forbidden to enter and she never had. Ellie remembered that Carol had picked the lock once and her father had violently escorted her out of the house.

There was a fancy NSA lock on the door. She remembered seeing it and wondering about it several times while she'd been staying with Ellie. It would be child's play for her to defeat.

She hurried to her room and took out a small gadget with two wires attached and her cell phone and went to the secured door. She plugged her cell into one of the leads and plugged the other into the lock's data port bypassing the keypad. She selected an app from her phone screen and pushed 'dial'. Thirty seconds. It had only taken thirty seconds to defeat the lock.

She opened the door and flipped on the light. An old fashioned partners' desk dominated the room. It was easy to tell which was Chuck's and which had been his wife's by the age of the computers sitting on the desktop. Since he bought the house after his wife's death, anything in place would have been put there by him and not left by his wife. This complicated things.

The desktop was covered by a pane of glass to protect the finish. Under the glass on Chuck's side were notes, lists, phone directories and photos of Ellie as she grew up.

Under the glass on his wife's side were one photograph of Chuck and Jill and the front page of a legal document and a copy of a medical form authorizing a blood transfusion for Ellie when she was 9 years old. She gasped and sat down heavily in Jill's desk chair.

The legal document was a Petition of Dissolution of Marriage showing the plaintiff as Charles Bartowski and the reason. 'Notorious and Open Adultery and Infidelity'. The date on the Petition was immediately prior to his second deployment to Iraq. He'd gone to war married and expected to return divorced – or did he expect to return at all?

She started to cry quietly, wracking sobs held deep within her. Blood doesn't lie. Blood is an irrefutable truth. Wiping her tears away with her t-shirt, Sarah returned to her room, replaced her gadgets in her bag and then walked down the hallway to his room.

She toed off her sandals and threw her t-shirt on the floor and released her ponytail. Sarah slipped into his bed and spooned against his naked back. So many questions about this complicated man had been answered and more posed. She wrapped him in her arms and fell into a comfortable sleep. Home.

* * *

His dream woke him to another dream. He was in his bed and somehow Sarah was with him. He was holding her and she was naked, curled against him, one arm draped across him and her head resting on his chest. Her leg was thrown over his thigh and she was drooling and smirking in her sleep.

His subconscious was cutting him a break, balancing the nightmare of their mission with a substitute for reality. He preferred the dream to the reality. His dream girl even drooled in her sleep. Breathing in the scent of her shampoo and smiling broadly for the first time in weeks, he fell back to sleep, relaxed and at peace.

She woke to an empty bed. The absence of his warmth started a process that took only a second or two to the trained spy. She kept her eyes closed and listened, developing an awareness of her surroundings before she could allow any sign that she was awake. It was a survival skill honed over the past 10 years.

Chuck walked out of his bathroom and pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt and pulled the covers up over his sleeping dream girl. Still smiling, he chuckled and left her asleep, going down to make coffee and breakfast. He felt…better. Maybe it was sleep or maybe it was the company but he felt better than he had in a long time.

_I can't believe he just covered me up and left! What did he think when he awoke to find me naked in his arms? Was he pleased? Confused? Angry?_

She started to get up but heard him coming back down the hall whistling. Whistling? Was that a good sign or a bad sign? Deciding to feign sleep until she had a handle on his mood and intentions, she lay there waiting.

Chuck could see just the top of her blonde hair under the coverlet. He set the tray down on the small table and went to wake his sleepy dream girl.

"Hey, Sarah? Wake up. Coffee, eggs, bacon, toast. Your breakfast awaits." He grinned as she opened one eye and stared at him.

"You left this warm bed to make me breakfast?"

"Make 'us' breakfast. I was hungry, too. I brought your robe from your room. Move your fanny before it gets cold. The food I mean. Uh, well, it's always cool in the mornings here until the sun heats things up around 8 or so."

"What time is it?" She liked this Chuck. Considerate and still fumbling with their relationship. Maybe…? "It's a little after 7am."

"Chuck, you didn't have to do that. But thank you. You said coffee?" She sat up allowing the sheets to slip and reveal her bare breasts and then turned towards him and hugged him. He felt warm and smelled incredible. If she didn't stop, they'd never get breakfast out of the way.

"Uh, Sarah? Your robe?" He was blushing and looking anywhere but at her.

"Not cold. Let's eat." She decided then and there that she knew exactly what she was going to be having for dessert.

"Sarah Walker, put on your robe. There's no way I can sit here and eat with those, I mean with you naked and…and how can you expect me to eat food when all I really want…ah, shit. Walker, at least put on a t-shirt."

"Prude. I'm in love wi…" She stopped and stared at him. Words. They were just words, weren't they?

He looked down at his food, any hint of playfulness gone when he looked up and held her eyes with his. "Sarah, don't. Don't say what you can't possibly mean. It's not fair and it's not…"

"It's not what, Chuck?"

"It's not true. I'm your assignment. I'm your job. I've been here before, Sarah." In a whispered voice, full of bitter despair, "I know _exactly_ how far some agents will go to accomplish their mission."

She got mad. Angry. Enraged. This is what he feared. This is what he'd had done to him before. This is what his _wife_ had done to him. But not her, not Sarah Walker, soon to be ex-CIA Agent Sarah Walker.

"Now you listen to me, Charles Bartowski. I'm done being an agent. My contract will not be renewed and this assignment, an assignment that I love by the way, is my transitional assignment back into civilian life. _YOU ARE NOT MY MARK!_" The last was almost a scream.

He sat there, dumbfounded, totally awash in remorse for what he'd done to her. The last words had slammed home with the force of her anguish. He stood up and knelt down beside her chair, taking her shaking hands in his.

"I want to believe you more than anything in the world, Sarah. Really, I do. You don't know…"

"Yes, Chuck, I do know. I know that Jill was an agent. I know that she carried on behind your back. I know that you were her assignment. I know that Ellie's your daughter in your heart and soul but not biologically. And I love you because it didn't make a difference who her father was because you were her Daddy and that's what counts in the final analysis, who loves you."

He was stunned. Speechless. How could she know?

"Blood types don't lie, Chuck, people do. You're O Negative and she's A Positive. But it doesn't matter to you one bit, does it? It never mattered. You've raised a fine young woman with values and morals and compassion that her fucking whore of a mother never had or else she wouldn't have done what she did to you for the fucking _job_."

He tried to say something, anything, to stop her tirade of truth but she wasn't having it.

"I would never, could never, do something that foul to someone I loved. I could never do it to you. I love you, you big, wonderful idiot. Age doesn't matter to me. Looks don't matter to me. What matters to me is what's in _here"_ thumping him on the chest. "That's where I look for love and that's where I found it. So don't you dare tell me you're just my assignment. Don't you dare tell me I can't love you. Don't you dare…"

She fell apart. She couldn't breathe and all she wanted to do was crawl back into their bed and pull the covers over her head and stay forever in the last place she'd been happy.

Chuck picked her up from the chair and placed her back in their bed and crawled in next to her. He wanted and needed to believe her. No one, not even a CIA agent, could display such emotions unless they were real. No one.

She tried to roll away from him, to escape her humiliation but he held her and pulled her against him. He kissed her tears away, wiped her runny nose off on his t-shirt. She fumbled with the hem of the shirt and finally, frustrated, just ripped it off him in her haste.

"I liked that t-shirt, Sarah."

"Tough. It was in the way."

She reached for his boxers and he shied away. "NO! No. Let me. You're entirely too violent about clothing all of a sudden. I'm getting naked, just give me a minute."

"Good boy." She was thoroughly enjoying this playful side of Chuck. An hour ago this was unknown territory on the map of "Chuck" with the warning ornately inscribed with 'There be dragons here'. Indeed.

"Chuck, we'll go slow. I'm sorry if I'm rushing you. I just…it's OK."

"No, we both want this. Somehow I can't imagine you wanting me but I'm OK with it. It'll just take some getting used to, like Beauty and the Beast."

"Well, we'll have to see about the beastly part but I'm flattered you think I'm beautiful. You've seen the scars and you know my history. If anyone should be having second thoughts it's you. You know what horrible things I've…"

He silenced her with a chaste kiss. "Yes, and I told you before, it doesn't matter. That was then, this is now. We'll take it slow; build a good, solid foundation so that no matter what happens, nothing will shake us loose from each other. You know my secrets and I know yours. The rest is just a period of adjustment."

"Good. A strong foundation and no more lies between us, ever. Now, this is our first time together and I don't expect miracles or fireworks or the earth to tremble. It's been a long time for you. I won't be disappointed, no matter what."

* * *

He woke up and smiled. Sarah was in the shower, singing. Well, she called it singing. Good thing she had her university job because she'd starve if she had to sing for a living.

He threw on clothes and took the uneaten breakfast tray back down to the kitchen and cleaned up. He hadn't been disappointed and if the sore spots on his back where she'd dug in her nails were indicative, neither had she.

Ellie showed up about 10 with a bad case of bed head. "Dad, you and Sarah working it out?"

"Yep."

"That's it? 'Yep?'"

"Uh huh."

"Can she stay with us, Dad? Like Carol? It's nice having another woman in the house."

"She's nothing like Carol. It's up to her."

"You going to ask her?"

"Nope."

"Dad! You have to ask her."

"Nope."

"Well then, I'll ask her. I live here, too. I like her, Dad, and I know you like her, too. You two have something going, even if you're too dumb to see it."

"Eleanor, watch your mouth. I'm your father and I don't like being called 'dumb' nor do I appreciate you fiddling with my love life. Dr. Walker will make up her own mind in her own time. You should have faith in things, Ellie. What should be generally is."

"Yeah, provided the blind help the deaf." Honestly, he's so stubborn. It's a wonder I'm not like that.

"That's enough. If you don't trust my judgment, maybe I was wrong about allowing you and the geezer to keep dating?"

"GEEZER! He's only 21, Dad. It's not like he's 10 or 12 years older…I mean, uh." She saw the stricken look on his face and hurried to make amends.

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me?"

"I'll take it under advisement."

Sarah had paused on the steps not wanting to interrupt what seemed like a 'behavioral' discussion and had to smile when Chuck put his parental foot down. Ellie's next comment froze her in place. Age. She just had to bring up the difference in their ages. Taking a deep breath and putting a smile on her face, she walked the rest of the way down stairs into the kitchen.

"Morning, everyone. Ellie, I took your advice." She saw the look on Ellie's face and moved to change the subject.

"So, I need to get back to town. Chuck, are we still on for Casey's party tonight? With everything you've been through, maybe you should just go solo and leave when you can. I don't want you being pestered with questions about me and us."

"I'll pick you up at 6:30, Dr. Walker. Please don't keep me waiting. Us old guys have a hard time staying awake after dark." He shot his daughter another glare and turned back to putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

"I said I was sorry, Dad. Jeez, cut me a break. Sarah, how about a little help here? We women have to present a united front."

"You're on your own, kiddo. Chuck, I'll be ready. I'll check the lot for your Suburban just in case you doze off." Her laughter as she left to drive back to her apartment made him smile. She'd turned a potentially nasty situation into a joke.

* * *

A/N: That's it for now. Us old guys need our sleep and the sun's setting.

APR


	9. Moving in and Moving On

MayDecember9

* * *

Chuck arrived at Sarah's apartment complex a few minutes early and she buzzed him in. He knocked and heard her voice from the back of the apartment yell 'It's open, Chuck. I'll be ready in a minute.'

He stood in the living room doing a quick sweep for anything that would tell him more about the woman who was responsible for the long scratches down his back. He smiled ruefully when he remembered how the shampoo lather running down his back stung and what he'd originally thought were just 'minor sore spots' turned out to be almost 6-inch long gashes. Well, gouges or maybe scratches.

He hadn't felt them at the time they were inflicted since all his senses were otherwise occupied by the beautiful blonde who was whispering impossibly filthy comments in his ear, urging him to go faster, harder and deeper. He felt his face burn with the memory but he smiled. It _had_ been almost 7 years.

"Wow, don't you look handsome in a uniform. Carnivora was right. You do need protected from all the ladies. I never knew a uniform could be such a turn on. Let's get naked and have our own party right here, baby. Oh, yes, Chuck, you look…gooooood." Now he really started blushing and she laughed and it was like rain in the desert.

She walked over and pulled her hair away from her back and turned around. "Can you please zip me up?" Evil Chuck made him do it. So much of that long neck with the softest skin his lips had ever encountered was exposed. He kissed her, sucking slightly and running his mouth down to her collar bone.

"Oh, God, Bartowski, not now, please? Just, please, keep those lips away from my neck and zip me up. Later, when I ask you to 'unzip me, Chuck,' you can do whatever you'd like with those lips."

He zipped her up, and put his arms around her, intertwining his fingers over her firm stomach and nuzzling her ear. "Honey, if Casey wasn't my best friend and if I hadn't promised to be there, you'd be naked and moaning right about now. My God, little black dress? I need to bring my pistol. I have a shoulder rig for this damned monkey suit. I'll need it."

"Chuck, I have knives…and a pistol. I'll protect you."

"No, I meant I needed it to shoot anyone I see undressing you with their eyes. Not that I blame anyone with a pulse for doing it, but…you're the most incredible woman I've seen in ages."

She turned and put her arms loosely around his neck and looked at him. "Do you really mean that, Chuck, or are you just trying to get into my pants?"

His eyes narrowed and he almost growled his answer of "Both. Ground rules: no dancing with anyone but me. No flirting with the bartender just to get served quicker. We're not even there yet and I'm ready to piss a circle around you and stake my claim."

She laughed, delighted. She loved this man and didn't doubt his intentions for a second. "Chuck, that's so not necessary. Here are my ground rules: no dancing with other women. Ok, maybe Carnivora, but only once and if she gropes you, baby, tell momma and I'll kill her. No one touches my man except me."

"Am I your man, Sarah?" She didn't know if the question was being asked by 'playful Chuck' or 'serious Chuck' so she just punted and told the truth.

"Yes. I marked you as mine this morning. I couldn't help it. I lost control for the first time since…well, for the first time. That's never happened to me before. It wasn't that it was great sex, because it was, but it was because I loved the man I was making love with. Make sense?"

"Yeah. Uh, this marking…is it an every time thing or just once and now I'm yours? Y'know, like a prize steer?"

"Bull, Chuck, prize bull." She whispered in his ear, "A steer has had its balls cut off…and I'd never do that to you."

"Good to know. Well, let's go. According to Ellie I'm an old guy and have trouble staying awake after dark."

He helped her into the Suburban and walked around and started it and they drove to the Post.

"Chuck, I almost interrupted you and Ellie this morning. I stopped on the stairs. I didn't want to interrupt you when you and Ellie were having your discussion about the Geezer. I already told you once, Dr. Bartowski, that your age is not a factor so get over it, please?"

"I'm dealing with it. Sometimes things get said that just remind me of the difference but I'm dealing with it. It's my problem so it's mine to solve."

"If it bothers you, it's _our_ problem, sweetheart, our problem to deal with. You're not alone any more. You've got me by your side."

She saw him nod, processing the 'my' to 'our' change. Things would work out fine if others just kept their comments to themselves.

* * *

**Officers' Club  
FT Huachuca, AZ**

The party had already started. Junior officers flocked to promotion parties for free booze, loose single women and free booze. Dinner would be served to those who actually had invitations and the rest of the officers would pack the bar drinking Casey into the poor house since tradition required that the newly promoted bought the booze.

Sarah hung on Chuck's arm, her Spanish shawl around her shoulders and a smile on her face. She'd never been to one of these things and she had no idea what the 'rules of engagement' might be. She quietly chuckled to herself feeling his arm tighten occasionally as a junior officer made his way towards them but quickly turned and withdrew after seeing the look on Chuck's face.

Several officers saw Chuck and smiled and waved or came over and offered some comment. She saw that almost all the senior officers were heavily encrusted with ribbons while Chuck's chest bore one small ribbon. She asked him about it and he just smiled and told her it was the 'everyone' medal for anyone serving. Sarah just nodded in agreement. This was all new to her. Spies didn't wear uniforms unless they were undercover.

They found their places at one of the round tables but Carina swooped down and snatched up their cardboard place notes and told them to follow her. Two majors were summarily kicked off the round 'head table' and Chuck and Sarah were seated beside the Casey's.

Carina checked out Sarah's dress and nodded in appreciation and approval albeit begrudgingly. Sarah saw that most of Carina was covered and sighed with relief that there'd been no confrontation. Casey noted the couple, smiled and waved then resumed talking to some older officers.

"Damn, Casey. He knows I hate sitting up here. It's like being put on display. Well, this time, at least, I have something for the rest of the fools to envy."

"What's that, Chuck?" She had no clue.

"You. No one will notice me with you on my arm. I'm safe from inane conversations and idiot wives asking me idiot questions about why I don't wear a uniform to work."

"Why don't you?" Now she was curious. She'd picked him up here a few times and noticed he just wore his 'university uniform' even though he was technically on duty.

"Draws attention to me. I don't need the attention. I don't want anything screwing up the project. It's almost done and when it is, I'll be able to tell Beckman to kiss my ass and retire. That's the deal. We get 2.0 up and running and then successfully download it and I've completed my term of service."

Waiters started serving the meals and taking drink orders. Chuck ordered for the both of them, wine for Sarah and a large whiskey for him. She reached under the table and took his hand in hers and noted his sweaty palm.

"What's wrong, baby? Are you OK?"

The server had set his plate in front of him and then Sarah's and then moved on to the others. Chuck smelled the meal and turned pasty white and Carina, sitting on his right saw it and realized what was wrong. She leaned over and whispered something to her husband who got up and grabbed a server and angrily whispered something in her ear.

Chuck pushed back his chair and bolted for the men's room. He made it and lost what little he had in his stomach. Sarah started to get up when Carina stopped her.

"Dr. Walker, let Casey handle this. It's complicated and Casey's going to kick someone's ass for screwing up Chuck's meal. It's OK. You've done nothing wrong. It's…complicated. Please, Sarah, don't hassle him about it. It's our fault. We moved the seating around and didn't think to tell the caterers we moved him."

She nodded her head, clearly confused. Chuck had the same thing as everyone else, grilled pork roast, vegetables and potatoes. Nothing strange or exotic.

"I don't understand. He was perfectly fine a few minutes ago."

Carina sighed. "If you care for him at all, please don't ever serve pork in your home. The smell triggers a violent reaction sometimes. Sometimes he just gets sick, other times…other times he starts to shake and it takes a long time to reach him. Flashbacks to when he was burned. Oh, hell. You're an agent. Ever smelled burned bodies? Think about it."

Casey found Chuck in the men's room, splashing water on his face and rinsing out his mouth.

"You OK, Chuck? If you want to leave, I understand. I'm sorry about the screw up with dinner. We forgot to tell the caterer about the seating change."

"Nah. I'm fine. Besides, I intend to drink you into the poor house, Colonel Casey. Carina must be pretty damned proud. Insufferably proud."

"Yeah. She is. C'mon, let's get back to the table. I told them to bring you a steak. Is that OK?"

"Yep. I'm sorry, Casey. Sometimes, the smell, it just gets to me. I didn't mean to embarrass you or Carina. Probably did wonders for my reputation. Oh, crap, Sarah! She won't understand…"

"Carina's handling it. She's fine. Now, let's get back before they think we've gotten lost in the bar."

Chuck picked at his meal and made nice with the others but really wasn't in the mood for 'remember when' conversations, especially when he had little or nothing to add. One of the colonels noticed his steak and made a rude comment, fueled by alcohol.

"Well, Major Bartowski, what makes you so special that you rate steak? It's not like you've accomplished much in the military to deserve such…consideration." Sarah bristled but Chuck just smiled and ignored the ass but that prompted another comment.

"It's customary to respond to a senior officer when one is asked a question, Major." He said 'major' like it was offensive and in Chuck's case, an undeserved rank considering his obvious lack of service.

"I'm…"

Casey interrupted him and scowled at Chuck. "Major, you're out of uniform – again. You know the regulations. Put 'em on."

"Sorry, Colonel, but I forgot them. Must have left them at the dry cleaners on my other uniform."

Carina laughed. "Chuck, you don't _have_ another uniform." She reached into her purse and withdrew a board set of ribbons. "I figured you'd pull something like that. Here. You owe Casey $17.00 and change."

Chuck glared at Carina and then sighed. He reached beneath his uniform tunic and unhooked the single ribbon and then asked Sarah to "hang the salad for me, please. I have a problem with the damned clips."

He had almost as many ribbons as Casey. The drunk colonel got quiet after 'reading his history' and then apologized.

"My sincerest apologies, Major. Too much to drink." He toasted Chuck with his drink and then began earnestly studying the remains of his dinner.

"So, Sarah, did Chuck ever tell you how we met?" That earned him a distinctly disgusted glare from Chuck and a raised eyebrow from Sarah. "No, Colonel, I just assumed you met here."

"2nd Iraqi invasion. I was directing…I was running a special ops thing, way up north of the line of resistance, locating and identifying units of the Republican Guard so the air force could take them out. Long story short, we got in a mess and here comes your young Major, a captain and CO of a company of Abrams back then, barrel-assing up in an Abrams leading a bunch of Bradleys to pick us up. He ran into 3 T-80s and 4 T-72s and took out 4 of them and they withdrew before they could overrun us. The scouts picked us up and we started to pull out when the Abrams ran out of gas, literally."

The table was quiet and Sarah was looking back and forth between Chuck and Casey. She was holding his hand and squeezing it, hard. She couldn't imagine what it was like. She couldn't imagine her boyfriend in a tank in battle. It wasn't an image of him she could wrap her mind around even though she'd seen and touched his burn scars.

"He'd already outrun his fuel trucks and when he first got his orders, he drained the fuel from his other tanks and headed out to pick us up. The Abrams sucks up 6 gallons of fuel a mile and he's been pushing it to the max when he ran into the enemy tanks."

"Here he is, standing on his turret like Georgie Patton, calmly directing the Bradley crews to transfer fuel from drums they'd lashed to their decks over to his tank. They get about 3 barrels transferred when the whole damn Iraqi Republican Guard comes over the ridge about 2 miles away, pulling out and heading for Baghdad but a bunch head our way."

"Casey, we met and we got home. Don't make it into a movie." He was embarrassed and a few more officers had been listening and were now standing around taking it all in, mostly junior officers who were full of 'piss and vinegar' and hadn't been to war.

"Hey, I'm a Colonel, you're a mere Major and it's my party, deal with it." Carina tried to talk to him but he was on a roll. The attitudes needed adjusting among some of his peers.

"So Bartowski orders the Bradleys to unass the area and he goes charging off towards the enemy. He's got these big-assed speakers on either side of his turret and I swear to God he's got a recording of a bugler sounding the charge. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and the damned Bradleys, my ride home, turn around and follow the dumb ass, charging right along with him, chain guns blazing. It was…" He got a faraway look in his eyes and then he looked at Chuck. "It was magnificent."

"Anyhow, that's how I met Bartowski. He and his tank ran out of gas again and he just sat there taking out BTRs and the occasional T-72 until some Warthogs showed up and sent them packing. He lost his tank and crew but accomplished his mission. He got me home. Thanks, Chuck."

Sarah dragged him to the dance floor and held him as close as social decorum allowed.

"Chuck, are you OK? Do you want to leave? We can dance in your living room and not be so…gawked at. I don't want to leave you for one minute, Chuck. I almost lost you before I met you and it just scares the crap out of me that I might never have had you in my life. I can't imagine what that was like but I can see you, a grin on your face, charging off to do battle like some knight of old."

"Sarah, it's history. Let's enjoy 'now'. Let's go home. I feel the need to unzip you and make love until we can't move. I love you, Sarah. And I want you with me forever. Move in with us. Ellie adores you and you can have your own room if you're uncomfortable with…umph."

She kissed him, letting the tip of tongue caress his lips but grinding her pelvis into his, thrilled with his immediate physical response.

"Yes! But I don't want my own room unless you think Ellie might not approve."

"She accepted Carol, knowing I felt nothing for her. She wants us to be together and happy. This make us together and I'm happy as hell with it if you are. No pressure. Take some time."

"I have most of my stuff there already. The furniture came with the apartment and I don't have many other things. We can move in tomorrow unless that's too soon."

"Yeah, tomorrow's too soon. I plan on keeping us busy all day tomorrow. Ellie and Devon have gone with his parents to their cottage so we have the whole place to ourselves."

"Let's go home, Chuck."

* * *

The 20-minute drive to Casa Bartowski was filled with the occasional sigh but mostly with a comfortable silence. They walked up the steps to the front door and he stopped and kissed here.

"Welcome home, Sarah." He handed her a key ring with duplicate house and truck keys. She was touched by both his thoughtfulness.

"I've never had a home before, Chuck, just apartments or company-owned fronts. This is so nice. It feels like I have a family for once."

They were changing into casual clothes when Sarah broached a subject they needed to discuss if just to clear the air. "Chuck, do you need to see someone about…about Iraq? I'm not suggesting anything. I just need to know you're OK."

"I'm fine. I don't have 'flashbacks' like some poor SOBs nor do I have any symptoms of PTSD. I freak out after missions but not during and I haven't had a hairball like the last one in years so I think I'm good."

"But dinner set you off."

"The smell. It smelled like…" He took a cleansing breath and continued, his voice a little raggedy. "It smelled like me when I was burning. It makes me sick and sometimes I can't quite pull myself out of it."

"What do you do? How can I help?"

"Normally, Carina comes over and we get all naked and sweaty and…"

"Chuck?" She knew he was deflecting again. He was the King of Deflection, never really answering a question.

"Hey, I was just kidding. I just gut through it. Sometimes, like tonight, I vomit up everything I have in my stomach. Other times I zone out and wake up in a while. The worst times…" He stopped and scrubbed his face with a hand. "I'm afraid. Can you understand that, Sarah?"

"Yeah, but you're not alone anymore. You've got me now. We'll keep each other's nightmares away."

* * *

A/N: Finishing it as soon as I can. 2 others done and final chapts need posting. My last Sunday of freedom…lol


	10. Foundations Built on Sand

MayDecember10

* * *

**Casa Bartowski**

"Please unzip me, Chuck." She smiled when she remembered her challenge to him at her apartment. She hoped he remembered.

He did and his lips traced their path from earlier. She shivered and turned in his arms.

"I want to take a shower first. Join me?" She grabbed his hand and led him toward the bathroom. They had all night and all the next day to be just Chuck and Sarah before Monday and they had to resume their roles. Besides, Ellie would be home tomorrow.

* * *

This time she ate his breakfast in bed. It was the smell of coffee that brought her awake but it was the sight of him busying himself with their breakfast setting that got her up.

"Mmm, I could get used to this, my love. Incredible sex, cuddling, sleeping next to you and waking up to breakfast and coffee. I should have moved in the night of the faculty mixer."

"I didn't even know you, Sarah, well, I flashed on you, but I didn't know the person, just the file. This is just me being nice to you, welcoming you into your new home. Don't get used to it. I don't do this every morning. Just special mornings when I wake up incredibly happy and wrapped in a beautiful blonde."

"Well, if that is your criteria, you'll be doing this for the rest of our lives, Chuck, because I'll be here every morning and my life goal is to make and keep us both incredibly happy."

He kissed her soundly, smoothed back her hair from her face and smiled. "In that case, every morning will be special and I'll have to get up earlier to do the cooking. Small price to pay, in my opinion. Now, eat. You need to keep up your strength. I've got serious catching up to do."

His cell rang and he frowned.

"Hello, Carina. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Hello yourself, Chuck. Just wanted to make sure you were OK this morning. I gave John hell for bringing up Iraq again. So how'd things go with the CIA lady friend?"

"Well, it was incredible. She's incredible and I've asked her to move in with us and she agreed. Tell Casey he's forgiven this time but he can kiss my ass for his $17.00. That makes 4 sets of boards I've got now. When will he give up?"

"Have you spoken to Beckman yet?"

"Yet? You mean like today? Why on earth would she be calling…shit, it's update time again. I'd forgotten all about it. How late am I this time?"

"You're not. She was badgering Casey about your project. She's not in a good mood, Chuck."

"Have John call me sometime later, Carina, as in 10am or so. It's just 7:30 and we just got up."

"WE? Oh, Chuck. Be careful. She's got a rep like you wouldn't believe."

"Pot meet kettle. I will take it under advisement, Mrs. Casey. My breakfast is getting cold. Good bye."

"That was Carina Casey. John's going to be calling me later. Beckman's on his case about the project. I might have to at least pretend to be working on it this week. With the school term ending I'll be out of excuses."

"I take it she was less than thrilled about my presence here? 'Pot meet kettle'?"

"That's her problem, Sarah, not ours."

Later, after they ate and cleaned up the dishes, Sarah ran back to her apartment to pick up some papers that needed graded. Chuck went into his office for the first time in quite a while and logged into the NSA network and initiated his conference call.

"Major, what is the status of 2.0? The data files have all been transferred. Have you done any pre-testing? When will you attempt the download?"

"Pre-testing is complete and I was going to run the download test Thursday. If anything goes wrong, you won't have to figure out how to explain my disappearance. The school can just say I 'moved on' after the semester ended and let it go at that."

"I wish you'd allow someone else to be the test subject. We have volunteers…"

"No. You know our deal. No volunteers. No more dead agents."

"Fine. But at the first hint of trouble, discontinue testing. Um, on another topic. I spoke with Colonel Casey and he mentioned another episode at the O Club. I'm asking you to consider coming in for a few days of counseling, nothing long-term, just a few days talking with someone who shares your background. You shouldn't have to carry the burden alone, Major."

"I'm not alone, Colonel. I've met someone and we're moving in together and I have high hopes for the future. As for counseling, I'll think about it. Maybe it's time. Thank you for your offer."

Good luck, Chuck." She disconnected the call.

She'd never called him by his first name before, not that he could remember. He wondered about the sudden familiarity and damned Casey for mentioning his reaction at the party.

* * *

Sarah returned with a trunk load of clothes so large that she needed his help unloading. They had their first fight.

"Chuck, it's ridiculous for you to throw out all those clothes to make room for mine in your closet when I have closet space in my room."

"This is your room now, Sarah, our room. I haven't worn most of these since…hell, I can't remember the last time I wore some of these. I've bagged them and I'll drop them off at the Goodwill collection box on my in to school." The walk-in closet had 'his and her' sides but Sarah had a lot of clothes.

"Are you sure you're not just making room for me…"

"Sarah. Shut up. This is your room. You can keep seasonal stuff in the guest closet but I want your stuff here so when…ah, forget it. Do what you want." He was frustrated and annoyed. He picked up the trash bag full of his cast-offs and started to leave.

"Finish your sentence. You want my stuff here so when what?"

"So if you're not here when I come back from an op or a trip I'll know you're coming back, OK? Simple enough for you?"

'_There it is,'_ thought Sarah, '_that annoyed and needy tone. He's still not sure of himself or us in this. He's afraid I'll 'pull a Jill' on him and I can't blame him, given what's in my file.'_

"Yes. Thank you." She started unbuttoning her blouse with a sly smile.

"Chuck, we had a fight. You know what comes next, don't you?"

"No. I guess I owe you an apology?"

"No, Chuck. Make up sex."

Afterwards, Sarah whispered into his neck, "I'm sorry, I just didn't understand. A lot of this…a lot of being in love and living with someone I really care for is all new to me. Be patient, my love. I'm trying."

"Beckman heard about the O Club incident and she's nagging me about reporting in for a few days of 'counseling' after I run the final 2.0 tests on Thursday. I told her I wasn't alone any more but I know her. She's like a pit bull with someone's leg. She'll never let it go. I may have to slide up there for a few days. Got a reason to visit DC? I'd rather not go alone."

"I'll make one up, sweetheart. Ellie can stay with the Casey's since it's 'company business', right?"

"They won't mind. Carina needs her shopping buddy for a bit every once in a while."

* * *

Ellie returned home that afternoon and was typically all EllieJoy about the new living arrangements. In the back of her mind she'd been considering staying in Sierra Vista and going to ASU so her dad wouldn't be alone. Now she didn't have to but she did have to face the reality of leaving Devon for a year.

She broached the subject to Sarah while they worked on their tans out on the patio.

"Ellie, long distance relationships are very hard on a couple. You need to make sure you're ready for the kind of commitment it requires. Freshman in college, missing parties, long phone conversations, curtailed social life, only seeing each other on school vacations. They take a toll." She was being very honest with Ellie.

"We talked about that. He said he understood and didn't love the idea but understood that maybe I should date in L.A. He still says he won't but I can't see him spending his senior year alone. I guess maybe this won't stand the test of time."

They didn't speak much after that. Each of them had their own relationship issues to contend with.

* * *

Sarah discovered the hard way that Chuck had a monthly 'maid service' that came in and did the dusting, windows, vacuuming and other tasks. She was working on her tan while Chuck was in class and Ellie was off with Devon when she heard her name.

"Dr. Walker? What are _you _doing here?" The voice was young and she recognized it. She rolled over and looked up at the French doors and said "Oh, shit."

Standing in the door wearing cut-offs and flip-flops were several of her students. She remembered one of them handed her a business card for a maid service but she hadn't used it.

"I live here. What are you doing here?" Two could play the same game.

"I, that is, we, clean here, once a month. Is Doc Ice here? We try not to bother him and come during his class periods. Could you remind him that we'll be gone for the summer – again? He gets forgetful. Too much going on in that handsome brain of his."

"Sure. I'll tell Chuck at dinner. Thanks." _Doc Ice? Handsome brain? Give me a break here. He's old enough to be your father._

"So, you and the Doc, a couple, huh?" She looked vaguely amused and the smirk on her face pissed Sarah off.

"Yeah. Isn't it great? He's such a wonderful…" She stopped; _'let the bitch wonder what he's so wonderful at…' _The other girls had gone about their tasks but not the smirker. She wanted to get in one more zinger but just sighed in defeat. Even with her 20-year old body in a bikini, she couldn't compete with the blonde hair and blue eyes and killer body.

"Yeah. Great. Well, please remind him about the summer cleaning schedule." She closed the door with a bit more force than was necessary.

Sarah laughed in absolute delight. '_A 20-something coed has the hots for a 40-year old professor and I got him. She's almost Ellie's age. Sometimes life __is__ fair'._

The real world reappeared on Tuesday morning to everyone's disgust. Both Chuck and Sarah had classes so they rode in to the University together and Chuck magnanimously allowed Ellie to drive to school in the Suburban. She'd whined and complained about it being 'the last week of my high school career and riding a bus is just…demeaning." The adult in the crowd smirked but wisely said nothing.

"Ellie, take the Suburban. Call me if you're going to be late or run over a traffic cop." A parent's job was never done.

* * *

Chuck's classes were almost always full and his TA was doing a great job of both teaching the occasional session when he was 'out' and keeping the administration off his ass about grades and reports.

"Joanna, you were a gift from the gods. What am I ever going to do without you? Are you absolutely sure you want to graduate? There's always the doctoral program to consider." He really would miss her. She sort of reminded him of Jill but in a good way.

"Nope. Got a job lined up thanks to a great letter of recommendation. I didn't even think of the NSA using a physicist but the money's great and I hear they do some cutting edge stuff on the sly."

"Well, I wouldn't know about that. Anyhow, here's a little something in the way of appreciation. And don't be a stranger. They do have email, y'know?" Ellie and Sarah had gone shopping and picked up a necklace that was appropriate and personal.

She was so thrilled with it that she hugged him and thanked him. She was close to tears. He'd always been considerate and always the gentleman, no matter how many hints she'd dropped.

And that's how Sarah found them when she walked into the small auditorium/classroom - in an embrace.

Her first thought was _'run', _then came _'how many other girls does he have?'_ followed quickly by _'he's mine!'_ then rational Sarah came through thankfully. _He must have given her the necklace. I should have picked out a pen set. Less personal and misleading._

"Hey, honey, if Joanna can peel herself off you, are you almost ready to go home?"

The sentence was calculated to deliver maximum information in a manner subtly direct without wounding. '_Honey', 'peel herself off you.' and 'home'._

Joanna leaped back, almost stumbling in her haste. Her face was lined with tear tracks and Sarah felt a moment – a very, very brief moment – of remorse.

"Dr. Walker, look, isn't it precious? I'll bet someone had help picking it out?" _Message received and understood_.

* * *

The walk to the faculty lot was long and quiet.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me the cold shoulder." She hadn't said a word to him or made eye contact since Joanna had slipped away after thanking him again for the necklace and the letter of recommendation to the NSA.

She wasn't angry with him. She was angry with herself. She'd been almost overwhelmed with jealousy and he had been totally innocent. She was the one in the wrong. She'd make this right the only way she knew how – sex.

Her pace quickened but she stopped when she realized he was no longer by her side. She turned around but the path was empty. She took out her cell and called him.

Before she could say anything at all, she heard '_I don't deserve this. I've done nothing wrong. You made an assumption that was totally baseless and now I wonder if this whole thing… You obviously have some issues to work out with regards to trust, Agent Walker. I can certainly understand that. I'm going to call for a ride out to the Post and do some catch-up, maybe run the download if I can find Casey. We'll talk when I get…back to the house."_

She called him back but it went to voicemail. So did her next 5 attempts.

She had really screwed up. She should have just let it go or dealt with her self-disgust in her own way. He was right. He didn't deserve any of it. She'd been wrong but couldn't figure out how to explain it to him without appearing weak and needy.

_Pride goeth before a fall_.

* * *

_**A/N: I know 5 of you loyal tripe-readers are still there but is anyone else? Just curious. Don't like making buggy whips.**_

_**APR**_


	11. Unvarnished Truth Shall Set Ye Free?

MayDecember11

* * *

**A/N: A bit angsty but with good reason. Hold your water and it'll be fine…I think.**

**Walker has to overcome her training to be real and Chuck has to overcome the strictures of his self-imposed systems and Beckman needs to get laid. I wonder, does the truth, in its purest form, really set you free?**

**APR**

* * *

**FT Huachuca, AZ**

Chuck thanked the enlisted driver for the ride and then went through the rigorous security checkpoints to access the intersect lab offices. His 'secretary' greeted him with a smile and then verified his ID and retina scan before allowing him into his 'office'. Security was probably looser in a nuke bunker than here.

He opened his safe and removed the disks containing the 2.0 program and data and a manila envelope addressed to John Casey. Chuck walked back to the Room of Doom as the staff called it. It was gallows humor. A similar room at FT Meade had been the scene of the deaths of 6 intersect volunteers. No one called it by its nickname in earshot of either the Major or Colonel Casey.

He grinned at his assistant and handed her the case of disks. "Load 'em up and then we'll see if we can't make some history, Lindy. Better page the colonel. He won't want to miss being able to give an eye witness accounting to Colonel Beckman." He placed the envelope in a prominent place where Casey couldn't miss it.

Lindy strapped him in the chair and adjusted the mouth guard so he wouldn't swallow his tongue just as Casey walked into the control booth and spotted the envelope with his name on it. He opened the microphone. "Bartowski, why now, why today? It's not scheduled until Thursday."

"There's nothing else to be done on it and I'm ready now. Maybe this time it'll work, Casey. Give Beckman a thrill and a reason for a budget increase. Everyone wins, right?" He could hardly be understood with the guard in his mouth.

Lindy walked back into the control booth and they both put on their polarized glasses. A few flicks of switches and a click of a mouse and the 2.0 version of the intersect began downloading and hundreds of images began appearing on the bank of screens in front of him.

It ended as quietly and abruptly as it had begun. The screens darkened and the normal room lighting reengaged automatically. Casey and Lindy hurried in and removed the restraints from a sleeping Chuck Bartowski and Casey called for a gurney to take him to the dispensary until he awoke normally.

* * *

Sarah was pacing a path in the deep pile carpeting in the living room.

Ellie sat quietly, both of them waiting for the phone call from Casey telling them when they could pick up Chuck. She knew what he did was dangerous and that it was super top secret but that didn't make her feel any better. Her father was risking brain damage or worse to prove his theories. Some times she wished her father were just an ordinary college professor like Dr. Sarah Walker.

10pm came and went and Sarah finally ran out of patience. She was feeling guilty and remorseful, two emotions she wasn't all that familiar with and hated feeling, especially since it was her own damned fault.

"Casey, it's Sarah Walker. When can Ellie and I come and pick him up? It's been 5 hours now and we're getting anxious. Can you at least tell me if he's awake yet?"

"Um, Sarah, he's awake but seems disoriented, more than he normally is after a download. We've run the perception tests and the usual physical tests and it looks fine but the medics are still uncomfortable with releasing him. We'll keep him overnight just to be safe and you can pick him up when he calls you in the morning."

"What are you keeping from me, John? I'm cleared for it. It's one of the things I do here, remember?"

"You're not cleared for what's happening now. I'm not being difficult. The unit's on lockdown until things level out. Beckman's orders. She's really pissed that he ran the test ahead of schedule and I have no idea what prompted him to forego the usual pre-tests."

"Call me if anything changes. I won't sleep until I know he's all right."

"I'll call, especially if he wants to talk. It'll be fine, Walker. It's what he does. At least this time he didn't scream."

'_Scream?'_ She was talking to dead air.

* * *

Ellie went to bed after being reassured that Casey would call them should anything happen but that he also told them to 'pick him up in the morning'.

OK, so she stretched the truth but Ellie didn't need to carry this burden. It was enough that she did. She knew why he'd advanced the tests. Her stupid jealousy and how she treated him.

She couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned and finally realized she missed his warm arms around her. Knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep until he was safe in her arms again, she got up and picked the lock on his office again and brought up his computer. She wanted to look at his personal files.

It was a blatant invasion of his privacy but she needed to know as much about him as possible if she was going to avoid screwing up their relationship with stupid moves like today.

His desktop was well organized and she quickly found some files in folders marked 'personal stuff'. She found his diary. He'd kept one since before going to Iraq the second time.

She scanned the entries and what she found was unsettling. Chuck knew all about his wife's extracurricular activities. He'd planned on filing for divorce (and he had) and he was aware of Ellie's paternity issues. He wrote that he "had a daughter and biology be damned". He knew who the father was!

Newer entries mostly dealt with school, Ellie and Army issues. His entries were brief and informative but lacked the emotion of the earlier ones. It was almost like he lost interest and just reported the facts without his usual opinions.

She got to an entry that dealt with their meeting at the faculty mixer in January. One passage caught her attention. He wrote that he'd met 'Bryce's Black Widow' and his impressions. '_She is so beautiful that I probably won't even notice when she kills me. I don't care at this point as long as my arrangements for Ellie are carried out and I finish the damned project.' _

Later entries dealt with their relationship and his initial fear that it was 'all for her cover' but later he talked about the future, _their_ future, and how promising life looked at long last. That was his final entry made a few days earlier.

She closed down his computer and put everything back exactly the way she'd found it.

She wanted to do the same thing to their shattered relationship. He'd hit the nail on the head with his assertion of 'trust issues' and she had to find a way to repair what she'd broken. It was her responsibility, not his.

The only thing he'd done wrong was fall in love with someone who seemed incapable of trusting anyone, who looked for deceit and found it where it didn't exist. Thank you, CIA.

* * *

He woke up and sensed he was alone. _Where was she?_

The memories of this afternoon's (or was it yesterday's?) argument came rushing back together with an analysis of what happened and why.

_Subject Walker discovered host in intimate embrace with younger subordinate. Given Subject Walker's previous assignments and accomplishments, analysis suggests Subject Walker's response was extreme jealousy seasoned liberally with a sense of betrayal. Subject Walker's comments are indicative of 'staking a claim'. Actions immediately after leaving auditorium inconsistent with Subject Walker's training or mission history. Subject Walker should have initiated immediate seduction steps to better secure the host's feelings._

'_Where the hell did that come from?'_ Suddenly it dawned on him and his grin tore muscles long unused.

Version 2.0 was a success, although it was incredibly verbose. He glanced at his watch and figured Beckman was awake and probably guzzling that disgusting witches' brew she called 'coffee'. He looked for his cell phone but apparently it had been secured. Frustrated, he got out of bed to go find a phone.

'_Maybe I should call Sarah first. Try and make sense out of what happened and see what I can do to fix things.'_

_Analysis follows.  
__Probability of successful reconciliation: 22.7%  
__Probability of situation deteriorating: 70.8%  
__Probability of situation improving: 06.5%_

_Probability of error +/- 2.7%_

_Recommendation: Do nothing. Subject Walker must make any commitments voluntarily._

'_This is freaking ridiculous. I don't need a recommendation from a program on my freaking love life. Hold any analysis presentations unless requested.'_

'_Jesus, now I'm talking with a computer program.'_

* * *

"Beckman, secure. Major, that was a foolish thing to do. You might have suffered irreparable harm. I assume the download failed to produce the desired results?"

"On the contrary, results were better than expected although the rendered analysis can be distracting and the damn thing is too wordy and opinionated. But it worked as designed."

"That's good news. And how are you, Major? I'd like you to please reconsider counseling. We have people here who have shared similar experiences and are trained counselors. Don't suffer needless mental anguish unnecessarily."

"I'll make arrangements immediately after Ellie's graduation. Agent Walker is in residence and can provide supervision _in loco parentis._ I'll let you know a date range before we commit, Colonel."

"Excellent, Major. Oh, and it's 'General'. Got the star yesterday."

"Well, congratulations, General Beckman, ma'am. You can't see me but I'm saluting." Waving his middle finger in the air.

"A single-digit salute, probably. Thank you anyway, Major. I'll be expecting your call regarding scheduling. Congratulations to your team for a job well done." She disconnected the call.

"How the hell does she do that?"

* * *

He walked back to his room but passed an empty nurses' station. This was not normal. The situation with the host required deep security and the dispensary was open to anyone who accessed the post. He also needed to find an aspirin or 12.

He found a phone and called Casey. Carina answered sleepily and then he heard her mumble _'It's for you, Johnny. Chuck.'_

"Casey, the dispensary is deserted. There are no nurses and no security. What the hell is going on?"

"Go back to your room. There's a service pistol and extra magazines in your nightstand drawer. Lock the door. I'll be there with security in 15 minutes."

Chuck made his way back to his room and found the 9mm and magazines. He locked the door and sat down to wait. He fell asleep and was awakened by a nurse with a breakfast tray.

* * *

Had he dreamed the whole thing?

Casey came in and grinned at him. "So, did it work? Are you upgraded? Or has your brain turned to mush?"

"Is Beckman a general, Casey?" The look on his face told him his answer.

"Someday but not today. Why? What's wrong? Are you – are you OK?"

"I must have been dreaming. Did I call you last night?"

"No." Now he was getting a little concerned.

Chuck leaned over and opened the nightstand and found a 9mm service pistol and two magazines. He showed them to Casey.

"Those are totally unauthorized. How did you get them in here? Where did you get them in the first place?"

"I dreamed that you told me they were there, last night. Weird dream. Anyhow, let's get the testing done and call Beckman."

"Colonel Casey, is there anything wrong? I spoke with Major Bartowski earlier this morning. Has anything happened?"

Casey stammered. There were stars on Beckman's shoulders. Just like Chuck had said. He hadn't been dreaming all of it.

"No, ma'am. The intersect has been upgraded to 2.0 with only small issues. Bartowski has trouble distinguishing between what's real and imagined. Only two instances, so far. We'll conduct a through test and then release him."

Beckman leaned in toward the camera and glared. "Nothing better happen to him, Colonel. We're so close to reaching the ultimate goal of the project. Be very careful with him." She terminated the conference.

* * *

Chuck flashed on numerous cues with full analysis available but not always pertinent to the question asked. This was frustrating to Chuck since it meant that there were still filtering issues with the 2.0 version. He told Casey as much and was surprised by his reaction.

"Be damned glad you're not sitting in your own piss wearing a diaper. I just found out you loaded all the data discs for the program, not just the initial tests. Why?"

"I wanted it done. I want out. I'll mission until retirement or reassignment but no more experiments. It worked. How I did it and the risks were my decisions to make, Colonel, not yours. I run the project. You're just the talking head with the birds on your shoulders. Don't push it. You'll lose."

Casey's eyes narrowed and he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand to attention. The voice, syntax and tone were all Bartowski but the eyes, the eyes were someone else's or so it seemed. Cold and distant, judging and weighing. What he said was true but rendered in a way to convey insult. That was not something he'd do.

"Fine. File your reports. Walker's waiting for you."

"She can wait. This is more important."

Casey turned and walked quickly away before he knocked Chuck on his ass. _Talking head? She can wait?_ Something was wrong but he couldn't do a damned thing about it.

Chuck finished up his paper work and then closed out his system and locked his office, waving goodbye to Lindy without his usual 'goodbye'. He went by the pharmacy and got some Tylenol3 and then walked out to deal with the Black Widow. He hated spiders.

* * *

He walked out of the dispensary and was attacked by 5'9" of sobbing blonde dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Chuck, I'm sorry. I was jealous and I didn't know how to handle it. Please forgive me, honey. I was stupid and I…I love you, Chuck and now I'm afraid I've ruined it." She was holding him so tightly he wondered if there'd be bruises. He wondered if she was lying.

_Analysis follows._

_Probability subject is lying: 15.8%  
__Probability subject is truthful: 75.1%  
__Unknown factors (atypical emotional display): 9.1%_

_Probability of error: +/-12.8%_

"Sarah, we need to talk. About us. But not here. Let's go home."

Chuck watched intently as the familiar landscape rolled by. It was as if it were the first time he'd seen it.

"Chuck, please talk to me. I'm so sorry for my behavior yesterday. I just wanted to get you in the car and talk to you. I know I was cold and distant but I was trying to figure out why I reacted the way I did. And then you disappeared and wouldn't take my calls. I'm scared, Chuck. I've never been in love before, not like this. It's all new to me. My training gets in the way and I don't know how I should respond or react."

He looked over at her. He hated it when she cried. Jill used to do that and it made him feel weak and that he was a disappointment to her. Now he knew better. Jill had just played him, followed her training, manipulated him and got her way. It was as if everything with her was a mission. Was this part of Walker's mission?

_Analysis follows._

_Probability of behavior being mission-related: 17.0%  
__Probability of behavior being non-mission related: 82.8%  
__Unknown factors (emotional display): 0.2%_

_Probability of error: +/- 1.8%_

"I've agreed to go to FT Meade for counseling. General Beckman will make arrangements. You'll need to stay here and keep Ellie in line. I know we talked about taking the trip together but I'd feel better if you were at home with Ellie. I don't want her around Carina and her whorish ways. She's far too impressionable."

"Chuck! That's a terrible thing to say about her. She's your partner and your friend!" They were pulling into the roundabout. Ellie was off with Devon and would be back in a few hours.

"No, she's no longer my partner. And my 'friend' has been intent on getting me into the sack even after she married my best friend." He looked at her coldly. "I'm not Bryce Larkin. I don't screw my best friend's wife. And I don't cheat. I take my vows seriously. I don't break my word. I would never cheat on you, Sarah, not even to save my own life."

His head ached and all he wanted to do was curl up with his lover and sleep until it quit hurting. It felt like someone had filled his head with sand.

He unlocked the door and almost ran to the kitchen. He fumbled with his pills and took 3 with a glass of water. He knew it was his imagination but he felt slightly better. He needed to immerse himself in the ordinary, the mundane, so he made coffee.

* * *

She took Casey's call in the foyer. She could hear Chuck in the kitchen, probably making coffee.

"Walker, secure. We're home, Casey. I think he's sick. He rushed into the kitchen for a glass of water and took some pills."

"Sarah, watch him closely. There's something off. I can't put my finger on it and I'm rerunning the discs looking for something to take to Beckman. He was hallucinating this morning and then he was fine but then he went all squirrelly again. And then he was fine. He was insulting and then normal. I don't know. He's not…Chuck. I can't explain it but it's true."

"I know. I just got a sample of his rage. He seems almost paranoid and then he's fine. He's mad at Carina for some reason and doesn't want Ellie around her. It makes no sense."

"Well, keep in contact. He skipped some pre-tests even though he told Beckman he had done them all and we don't know if he got corrupted data or what."

"Why would he do that? It's dangerous enough as it is."

"Pressure to complete it. You wouldn't believe the pressure we're all under here. And he wants out. Says he'll run missions but no more intersect development. I think your appearance in his life has made him reevaluate things and he wants a regular life with a future, not lose himself to some program. And I think he's right for the first time in a long time, Sarah, so don't rush him."

* * *

_**A/N: Chuck doesn't lie. How will the unfiltered truth affect the charactersand their relationship? Read on.**_  
_**APR**_


	12. Sarah Red, No Undies, Table Dancing

MayDecember12

_**A/N: I will get this done before Black Friday.**_  
_**APR**_

* * *

The ordinary task of making coffee served to center him. He knew he'd screwed the proverbial pooch by not running the pre-tests but figured it wouldn't matter. What no one, not Beckman, Casey or even Chuck realized was that the combination of the new intersect program and data download combined with version 1.0 created – synergy. The whole is _greater _than the sum of its parts.

He brought two cups of coffee into the living room. Sarah was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and he knew she'd been crying when she unsuccessfully tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands.

He handed her a cup and asked softly, "Do you really love me, Sarah Walker, or is this all just a part of a greater operation Larkin is running. I know your contract is not being renewed and I know you were close to burning out when you came here. Now, answer the question. Please, Sarah."

"More than I thought possible. I've never felt myself so dependent on the presence and well being of another person. When you're not with me I feel…incomplete, like something's missing. I was so damned jealous of Joanna yesterday and yet I knew, _I knew,_ that it was an innocent scene I'd stumbled on, but it didn't stop me from reacting, didn't stop me from treating you like a mark. I'm so sorry and so ashamed…"

"I take it the answer is yes, Sarah?"

She looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears but with a radiant smile on her face. "Yes, Chuck, I love you."

_Analysis follows._

_Probability subject is lying: 0.7%  
__Probability subject is truthful: 98.8%  
__Unknown factors (atypical emotional display): 0.5%_

_Probability of error: +/- 0.8%_

He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet and took the coffee cup from her and set it on the coffee table.

"Did this constitute a fight, Sarah?" He had a twinkle in his eye but kept a straight face.

"Why, yes, I do believe it did. A real knockdown-drag out brawl." She had a matching twinkle in her eye.

"Then I believe the proper course of action is to engage in what you told me was 'make-up sex', correct?" He was unbuttoning his shirt, pantomiming her actions from the other day in the closet.

"Yes. Last one naked is on the bottom…" and she took off running, pulling her t-shirt off and throwing it in his face and she had her jeans unbuttoned before she was halfway up the stairs. She pulled them off after kicking off her sneakers on the first landing and laughed when she saw the look on his face. He was still standing there, holding her t-shirt, with an astonished look on his face.

Later, as she lay in his arms, her legs splayed across his naked body, he whispered in her ear. "I like being on the bottom. The view is so nice and I have something to do with my hands…" She giggled and whispered that she appreciated his gentle touch but that sometimes she enjoyed 'being rode hard' but that either way was satisfying and it didn't really matter as long as they were together.

* * *

Sometime later Sarah answered Chuck's cell phone.

"Hello?" She didn't use protocol since there was no ID shown. She was half asleep.

"Agent Walker? Director Larkin. When Chuck's available, please tell him I'll be flying in tomorrow night for Ellie's graduation. I'll rent a car but I expect him to put me up in one of the spare bedrooms. So, how are you enjoying the assignment?"

"It's very fulfilling, Director Larkin. We're a couple and I've moved in with Chuck and Ellie. Things are great. Really. They are great."

"No flashbacks? No loss of concentration?"

"No. No repeats of Europe. I'm fine. We're fine."

"Does he buy it? Is he convinced?"

"Yes."

"Don't lose focus. You're last mission will end with the beginning of the next term. Have you reconsidered a contract renewal?"

"I didn't think it was an option. No, I haven't."

"You're back on your game, Agent Walker. It would be a shame for you to turn your back on a promising career. We'll discuss this when I see you after Ellie's graduation. There are several missions you would be perfect for. Think about it." He disconnected the call.

She put Chuck's cell phone back on the night table and moved closer to him, pulling his arm around her. He seemed to resist but she rolled into him and he held her close. She sighed, snuggled against him and seemed to fall asleep again.

He wasn't asleep. He transitioned from sleep to wakefulness and total alertness within the space between the first ring of his cell and the second. Another improvement of the new intersect?

He heard both sides of the conversation since Sarah had spooned against his back when she took the call and had lain on her back to talk on the phone. She'd told him they were a couple. She sounded very happy until he'd brought up Europe and a possible contract renewal. He'd prefaced it with questions about whether Chuck had 'bought it' and was convinced. Of what, her sincerity, her love?

She said it wasn't an op. She swore to him that she loved him. He'd wait to see if she brought up the contract renewal before Larkin arrived. If she didn't, then the job outweighed anything she felt for him. She would return to being an Agent. She would leave him behind.

"Chuck?" She spoke in a small voice, very tentative, almost pleading.

"Chuck, the Director is coming in for Ellie's graduation. He's renting a car but expects you to put him up."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"OK." He sighed. She heard it and wondered what meaning it carried. It wasn't the sigh he made when he pulled her close to him, nor was it the sigh he made when she crawled up onto his chest to sleep. No. This sigh was resigned, disappointed, almost a sigh of surrender. It was not a happy sigh.

"Chuck?"

"Yeah, Sarah?"

"I love you."

"Yeah, I know."

A few seconds later, she sighed. "Chuck?"

"Yeah, Sarah?"

"I won't leave you. I don't care about a contract renewal. I care about you and our future. I can't do that anymore. I can't pay the price anymore. I won't lose this for a fucking job, OK? Chuck?"

"OK, Sarah."

"He offered me a renewal, said I was back on my game, but it isn't true. I'm happy now, that's what he heard. I won't be a whore for the greater good. I love you and someday I hope we'll get married and if you want, have a family together. And you're not too old, Chuck. You're…perfect."

She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows and looked at her lover.

"Oh, Chuck, please don't cry. I won't leave you, I promise. Don't, baby, it's all right. I should have told him 'No' but I was surprised, caught off guard. And I should have told you right away. I'm sorry. I seem to be saying that a lot but I mean it. I won't do anything to risk what we have here. OK?"

"OK. It's OK. I'm just tired and my emotions are a little out of balance. The download and stress, makes me a little crazy I guess. It's all right. I'm glad you told me. We have no secrets, remember? We need to build 'us' on bedrock."

"Hmmm, well then, lover, let's rock this bed and get started – unless you're too tired. You old guys…." She screamed and then laughed when he began tickling her.

"Old guys?" He continued tickling her, enjoying her laughter and the feel of her warm skin under his fingertips.

"Are the best. Now, prove it," she dared.

* * *

Sarah took a shower and walked downstairs thinking about what to have for dinner. Chuck was still sleeping, mumbling arcane formulae and showing no signs of waking soon. She really tired him out. Ellie and Devon were almost sitting on the sofa making out like…horny teenagers…when she cleared her throat.

"Hey, Sarah." She held up Sarah's t-shirt and bra and laughed. "Glad we didn't walk upstairs. I wasn't ready for any more…clothes." Then seriously, "Is my dad all right? Is he awake?"

"Yeah. He's great. No problems. He was just a little loopy from the shot, I guess." She was covering for him, giving him an excuse. "By the way, Bryce Larkin is flying in tomorrow night for your graduation."

Ellie's response was luke warm. "That's nice. I suppose he's staying here again. Sarah, keep away from him, please? Oh, crap, that sounded gross, even to me. I meant, well, you haven't met him but he's a real 'player' and you and my dad are still new…"

"I met Bryce before coming here. It's a small world. I met him back at the DLI. Yeah, he thinks he's a player but he's more of an asshole…Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Forget I said that, please? It was so disrespectful towards your Godfather."

"So what. The truth hurts. He's an asshole. He was more my mom's friend than my dad's, even after going to college and rooming together."

"Well, it's still not nice. So, Devon, want to stay for dinner? I promise not to poison you."

He glanced over at Ellie who smiled and nodded. "Actually, Dr. Walker, we thought maybe, if you and Doc Ice didn't have any plans, you could join us at Luigi's for a celebration dinner. My girl's graduating and I'd like it if you could join us."

"I'll ask Chuck. I'm sure he'll be delighted. But we go Dutch, Devon. Understand? I expect you to pay for Ellie but Chuck will pay for us, right, Ellie. The man pays…and pays…and pays…" They both laughed and Devon joined in, not sure if there was really a joke in her comment.

* * *

**Luigi's Fine Italian Cuisine  
Sierra Vista, AZ**

The owner made a big fuss over Ellie, telling Chuck he had a son who was looking for a beautiful wife and was he interested in opening negotiations?

"Nope. She's taken. Now, bring on the menus and I'll have the usual to drink and Sarah will have a bottle of your house red." He smiled and winked at Sarah who blushed but agreed. "At least one." Her hot gaze locked with Chuck's and Ellie finally cleared her throat and mentioned that 'parental sex' was not something she wanted in her visual memory.

After eating and drinking, Ellie drank but never in front of her dad and never without Devon along, the conversation turned to summer plans. Chuck and Sarah had plotted a surprise for her graduation and Chuck had discussed it with Devon's folks.

"I don't know. I guess work on a killer tan. Maybe find a job but that's probably next to impossible in this economy." Devon had much the same response.

"Well, how about joining two old farts for a Caribbean cruise? See the islands. Devon, you and Ellie will not be sharing a cabin. You each get a single. So does Sarah."

"What? Chuck, what? I thought, I mean, wait, I made the damned reservations. We have a double on the outboard side."

"Just kidding. Ellie, Devon, what do you say? Your folks are OK with it. I had to talk them out of going along with you as chaperones but they caved when I told them that Sarah and I were going as an engagement present."

"That's great, Doc. Wait? Ellie and I, I mean, we're not getting engaged, at least not until…"

"Sarah, marry me?" He held up a ring and looked at her expectantly.

She was looking at Ellie with 'deer in the headlights' eyes. Ellie's smile was huge and she just nodded and mouthed 'SAY YES!'.

"Sarah?" He experienced a flash of anger and started to put the ring back in his pocket when she smashed her face against his and practically sucked his lungs out.

After an almost indecent kiss she muttered, "Yes, yes, yes…oh, yes."

The ring was not a perfect fit but they would take care of that in the morning, assuming she'd ever open her fist that she'd closed to keep from losing it from her finger.

Sarah glanced at Ellie who was all smiles. "Don't you dare call me 'Mom'." She didn't know why but that would seem wrong somehow.

"How about 'wicked step mom'?"

"I'm not wicked."

"I don't know. I found a t-shirt and a VS special bra in the living room and sneakers and jeans on the landing and a thong…"

"I wasn't being wicked. I was being…" She didn't know quite how to finish the sentence.

"You were being very wicked, my love. You know it's not health to deny your baser natures." His eyes twinkled but he lost his smile when she ran her fingertips up the inside of his thigh and started to unzip him.

"And you loved it, admit it, Chuck. Especially when…" she whispered something in his ear while slipping her fingers into his unzipped suit pants.

"Sarah, stop. I think he's having a heart attack!" Ellie was laughing and Devon wasn't exactly sure what was going on but wasn't all that curious. If the two older lovers wanted to play, let them. He had Ellie and he dragged her off to the dance floor.

"I think we traumatized poor Devon, Chuck. The look on your face…"

"Are you happy with this, Sarah? This wasn't exactly how I'd planned it but…"

"Yes. Incredibly happy. Never been this happy before and I never thought I could feel this way about anyone. I'm so damned lucky to have met you, Chuck. I'll never stop loving you, no matter what happens. Remember that, lover, because it's true."

"How about zipping me up and dancing with me? You can do the unzipping when we get home, Sarah. Poor Devon. He'll never get over this."

"Chuck, do you think it's wise throwing those two together? I mean, she's only 17 and he's not exactly an old guy."

"It's a test of commitment. We'll see whether this generates glue for the future or just a lot of spit exchange."

"Chuck, that's gross. Spit exchange. Ewww."

"Remember what I said about 'baser natures'?" He laughed.

"Chuck, how big is the men's room here?" She licked his ear and sighed into it. "I want you right here and right now. C'mon. Let's check and see if it's occupied."

"S – Sarah, behave yourself until we get home."

She whined. "But Chuck, I'm really ready. Here, feel." She took his hand and put it up under her skirt. "No underwear, Chuck. And getting engaged has hit my buttons and I really want you right now." He looked over and saw that there was a second empty bottle of Luigi's killer red on the table.

"Baby, you're driving me crazy but not here. Not like this. You're drunk and you'll be embarrassed if we do it here in the restroom."

"Then grab the young lovers and tell them we're going home. We came in separate cars for a reason, Chuck. Please, baby, let's go home."

"Fine. I'll tell Ellie. Give me your keys, Sarah. You're not driving."

"Ohhhhh, yes, take charge, baby. I like a man who takes charge."

"Keys, Sarah, please?" No more of Luigi's killer red. He stopped and chuckled and went back into the restaurant and came out carrying a bag with 2 bottles in it. It might come in handy in a few years.

* * *

Sarah woke up alone in bed, cursing all things Italian and wishing her fiancé had better sense that to let her drink two bottles. _'Where was he?'_

She looked down at her hand, intending to confirm that she was still engaged but her ring was missing. She jumped out of bed and immediately rushed to the bathroom, barely making it in time.

Ellie was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and handed Sarah a glass of water and 4 Advil. "Daddy said you'd love him more if I gave you these. He took your ring into town to have it properly sized. I'm so happy for you both. Be nice to him, Sarah. He really, really loves you."

"I made a fool of myself last night. I'm hope I didn't embarrass Devon too badly."

"Well, the table dance gave him a new sense of appreciation for his future mother-in-law."

"Table dance? Future mother-in-law?" Oh, my God, and me with no underwear! "Um, uh, is, was, did your dad…"

Ellie burst out laughing. "You don't remember leaving with Dad after he took your keys? We stayed out and danced and then drove home but you were sound asleep. There was no table dancing."

"You're an evil child, Eleanor Faye. That was just…" and then she burst out laughing.

"And when Luigi found out Dad asked you to marry him right there, he gave Dad two bottles of Sarah Red and freebied the whole meal!"

"Sarah Red?"

"Yep. He figured it had to have a name and he's always been a bit taken by you so, Sarah Red is the official name. You should be flattered. Your namesake will probably be responsible for countless babies, planned or otherwise."

"Who are you and what have you done with poor innocent little Ellie Bartowski?"

* * *

_**A/N: Cruise ship sex...mmmm**_  
_**APR**_


	13. Welcome to the NSA MommaSarah

MayDecember13

* * *

_**A/N: **__**WARNING!**__** There will be angst here but it's a brief and necessary element to the story line. Have a little faith. I've always brought them to a reasonably happy ending, haven't I? Well, haven't I? And I was touched by some of your reviews. So was the Nic. She pointed a few out that she really liked. **_

_**APR**_

* * *

Chuck called Carina and broke the news to her about his engagement, girding his loins for the inevitable vitriolic response his former partner would have to his news.

"Are you happy, Chuck? I mean, really happy? This isn't some May-December infatuation, is it? Is it real, partner? You know as well as I do what her rep is."

"Yes, Carina, I'm happy. It's not an infatuation. It's so real that it's scary. She was always upfront about her purpose here. The love she feels for me is not an act, partner. And all I want is to make her happy."

"In that case, partner, _CONGRATULATIONS!_ Casey and I will throw a bash for you two to celebrate the engagement. Oh, Chuck, Ellie loves her and she is so good with Ellie. You've found your other half, sweetie, and I'm so relieved. Now you have someone else who loves you watching your back since I can't be with you on ops."

"Thanks, Carina. Your approval is very important to me. I just hope John feels the same way. You two are my only real friends and I was afraid you wouldn't approve and make it awkward." He sort of ignored her 'someone else who loves you' comment.

"Chuck, if she makes you happy, I'm happy. I'll bet Ellie is crazy about this."

Chuck told her about how the engagement went down and she laughed until she told him she had to go or wet her pants. He laughed and disconnected. Another hurdle met and overcome. He went by the jewelers to have the ring re-sized while he waited.

Carina wasted no time in rallying the troops, so to speak. She called Casey and he just chuckled at the news, happy for his best friend. Then she called Sarah and wished her all the best, effectively sealing the deal on a budding friendship and then she called Ellie and left a voicemail. She figured she'd have a while to plan the party since they were leaving on their cruise a few days after Ellie's graduation.

* * *

Sarah had been both surprised and touched by Carina's call. She knew that the older agent had feelings for her fiancé but the sincerity of her remarks and best wishes ended her concern that Chuck's partner would not approve and create uncomfortable situations in the future.

She couldn't remember ever being as happy as she was at that very moment.

* * *

"Bartowski, secure but in public."

"Chuck, it's Bryce. I'm in Tucson and I'll be in later this evening. Got plans for dinner?"

"Actually, we had the big dinner last night but I'm sure we can whip up something suitable for your jaded palette. Pizza?"

"Yeah, and I'll bring the beer. Thought anymore about the car, bro?"

"We're letting Ellie take the Suburban to L.A. I feel better with all that steel around her in the L.A. traffic. She's a very good driver and I figure the truck's the best bet."

"That kinda kills my present, doesn't it? Well, I guess I'll get her a watch or something. Any suggestions?"

"Anything but a necklace, Bryce."

"Chuck, c'mon, that was years ago. And it didn't mean anything. You know that. It was her birthday, for crissakes. Get over it."

"She was my wife, Larkin. You're the super spy guy; surely you figured it all out. W-I-F-E. Not someone you could bed and bribe with assignments. You should have left her alone. Instead, you got her killed. And then there's Ellie…"

"Chuck, maybe, maybe, I should just go back to DC. I've got an assignment for Walker and I've talked to people about offering her a renewal on her contract. We can find you another 2nd layer agent. Walker will have her orders within a few hours. We need someone with her unique abilities in Europe. Got a terrorist, Ismail Al-Ibinfaud, who might flip for the right incentives."

"Chuck, are you there? Hey, Chuck?" Chuck was flashing on Ismail Al-Ibinfaud.

"Yeah, I'm here. Walker's assignment is here, Bryce. We're engaged. She stays. And yeah, go back to DC. You're really not wanted here. I'll make excuses for you to Ellie. The job, a hush-hush assignment. Just FedEx her your present. It's not like you really give a shit about her. Just one more bastard child in the world, right? Go back to DC. It's the best idea you've had in years."

"Watch your step, Bartowski. The intersect host might be 'hands off' but you do have liabilities…like Ellie and your brand new fiancée. It would be too bad if something happened to Ellie in L.A. Rapes and muggings are everyday occurrences there. And your girlfriend's new assignment might get…"

Unknown to either of them, the words 'intersect host' initiated a series of alerts and recordings. NSA analysts were on the phone to General Beckman within seconds and had forwarded a recording and live feed to her office.

"If anything happens to either of them, I'll find you and kill you. You're on notice, Larkin. Keep away from my family. Hands off Sarah, understand?"

"You have no idea how much I'm going to enjoy seeing her after she's done with this assignment. You won't want her any more, hell, no one will."

He hung up, so angry he almost drove the Suburban off the road and into a ditch. That fucking bastard!

* * *

Larkin began to do what he did best in the whole world – screw people over. He issued orders that Agent Sarah Walker was to be immediately recalled and assigned to flip the terrorist Ismail Al-Ibinfaud in Lebanon. Her assignment was to begin immediately. The guy had a weakness for blondes and a penchant for brutality.

Feeling a sense of immense satisfaction, he changed his reservations and headed back to DC and better opportunities. He called and initiated the bitch's transfer and settled back in first class with his drink.

He'd have to remind his secretary to pick up something for Ellie, something cheap and meaningless, just like her tawdry life was about to become.

* * *

Chuck knew exactly how Bryce thought and so his next act was to call in a favor and make a deal with the Devil.

"Beckman, secure. What is it, Major Bartowski?"

"General, I've never, ever, asked you for a personal favor but I'm doing it now. I need help. And I'm willing to continue working the intersect project, even after 2.0 goes live."

"Go on, Chuck. What's wrong? I'll do what I can." She'd already taken specific actions but wanted to hear for herself how he was handling and any suggestions. He was a good tactician.

He spent ten minutes explaining the call from Larkin, his intentions to reassign his fiancé and his veiled warning to Chuck about Ellie, that it would be 'too bad if something happened to her in L.A.' and his comment regarding Sarah's ultimate return from her assignment.

"General?" He'd never asked for anything for himself, ever. He'd given everything he had when his country called, now he begged it for mercy. He was afraid she'd hung up on him.

She was corroborating his comments by listening to the recording made by her analysts. Seething, she typed instructions into an email and sent it on a broad distribution. She had attached the recording to the email.

"Agent Walker…will be transferred to the NSA as soon as I can get the proper signatures, no later than close of business today. If needs be, I'll go to the President. This is callous, vindictive and utterly reprehensible behavior on the part of a member of the intelligence community. Using his position to harm a citizen for no valid reason is…utterly disgusting, not to mention his threats toward a serving officer in the Army."

"As for Ellie, Chuck, I've already established a detail from our L.A. detachment to 'look out for her', even before this came up. Your unique position warrants it and in light of this…calumny of the part of Larkin, entirely justified."

"Now, as to your personal situation…congratulations and best wishes. Send me an invitation to the wedding and enjoy your cruise. If Larkin contacts you again, ignore his call. We'll take care of Deputy Director Larkin. I'm scheduled to have lunch with Leon and I'll discuss this with him. Good day, Major, and congratulations again."

Chuck breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe they'd dodged a bullet.

* * *

The bullet Chuck thought they'd dodged struck Sarah directly in the heart.

"And so, Agent Walker, your transportation has been arranged and you'll be expected in DC for your briefing tomorrow. Your personal belongings will be handled as usual and the usual letters of resignation have been faxed to your Chancellor already. You are well aware of the penalties for failing to report for code-word assignment. Director Larkin will have you taken into custody if you fail to report."

The mindless drone didn't care for any objections, simply repeating the pertinent portions of the order.

Her world was crumbling around her and she felt she had no choice but to comply. She went upstairs to pack.

Chuck parked in the roundabout and ran into the house. He'd called Sarah several times but the calls all went to voicemail. He ran up the stairs and stopped when he got to their bedroom. The walk-in closet door was open and her belongings were gone. She was gone.

Sarah parked her Porsche in short-term parking. The Agency would have someone pick it up. She didn't care. She'd left her life back in Sierra Vista. She knew that after this assignment she'd never be able to return, to face the man she loved more than her own life and his daughter that she'd come to consider her own.

She pulled her two suitcases from the trunk and walked over to the departure gate and buried her personal feelings deep inside where they'd never be seen again. She said a prayer to God that the plane would crash. Her life was over. Only the dying part remained.

She waited an interminable time and finally it was her turn to be ticketed and get a boarding pass.

"You have a reservation in the name of Sarah Walker through to DC." She handed the clerk her ID and waited.

"Um, ma'am, there's a flag on your reservation. Please follow these gentlemen to the security offices. I'm sure it's just a mix-up." She dismissed Sarah and motioned the next person in line to come forward and beg her indulgences.

Sarah went with the TSA security guards to the security office. When she walked in, one of them flashed an NSA ID and smiled at her.

"Welcome, Special Agent Sarah Walker, to the NSA. General Beckman's compliments, but your reservations have been cancelled and you are ordered to return home where you will find new orders. Good day, Special Agent Sarah Walker. Watch over Bartowski for us. We've been relieved. You now have sole responsibility for Chuck and Ellie. Don't let us down."

Her smile lit up the room and she impulsively hugged the man who was busy removing his TSA shirt.

"Whoa, Chuck would geld me if he walked in here now, Agent Walker. But I appreciate the thought."

* * *

Sarah practically flew back to Sierra Vista, driving up to the roundabout, blowing the horn the entire way.

She left her suitcases in the trunk and ran into the house and shouted, "Chuck? I'm home, Chuck? And I've got great news!"

She checked the kitchen and living room but no sign of Chuck. Panicking, and imagining horrible things, she ran up to the bedroom and stopped, almost unable to breathe.

The entire room was filled with flowers and the bed was covered in rose petals. He'd known, he'd known and he'd done something incredible and somehow her world had been made whole again. She was whole again. She was home.

His voice behind her was soft and welcome to her ears, like morning rain on drought-parched land.

"I knew you'd be back. I never figured it would be this quickly but I took a chance with the flowers. Bryce threatened to send you to flip some terrorist. He forgot I'm the intersect. The man is a rapist, a predator with a reputation for humiliating, torturing and mutilating the 'gifts' he gets from various governments before saying 'no thanks' and returning his gifts, barely alive. I begged Beckman to save you, us, and she's taken steps to insure we're not bothered again by the likes of Larkin."

He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her neck, ignoring her shaking as she sobbed in relief.

"Baby, never again, I promise you. They threatened to take me into custody and…and I panicked. I should have known you'd work your magic and save me. I'm in the NSA now. I'm your security detail. The guys I met from NSA at the airport, they 'stand relieved'."

"Those idiots – were never really on duty. They were attached to the post as instructors. Now they're probably on their way to some cushy assignment in DC. Beckman protects her own, and I guess I'm hers now."

She turned within his arms, not wanting to lose contact and buried her smiling face in his chest. "Should I be jealous? Does she know we're engaged to be married?"

"No. Yes. She wants an invitation. And she's already arranged a 'detail' to look after Ellie in L.A., even before all this came up."

"I can't wait to see the look on Larkin's face when he gets here and I'm still here. Too bad I don't have a badge. I'd flash it in his face but I promise to be on my best behavior for Ellie's sake."

"About that…I told him to go back to DC and not to show up here again. I think that's what prompted his actions on getting you reassigned. Our conversation brought up some ancient history. Baby, Ellie's not my…"

She kissed him.

"Yes, she is, Chuck. Here," she thumped his chest as she had once before, "here, where it counts. Does she know?"

"I don't know. I hope not but she's bright and has probably figured something out. I found her once, years ago, looking at herself in the mirror and when I asked her what she was looking at and she just smiled and said 'you, Daddy, just you.'. Damned near made me cry."

"I love us, Chuck, you, me, and Ellie. Do you think this might be considered 'a fight'?"

"Maybe. Why?"

She began unbuttoning her blouse and winked at him saucily. "You know why…"

"I don't want 'make up sex' right now, Sarah."

"You don't?" She was uncertain what was happening and was disappointed and it must have shown. Wasn't he glad she was home?

"No, I want 'welcome home, Special Agent Sarah Walker, NSA' sex. That's what I want."

* * *

Ellie and Devon came in later in the afternoon. Ellie had to get ready for the graduation ceremony and Devon was hanging out by the pool. Sarah was in the kitchen 'developing dinner' and her dad was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, Sarah. What's for dinner? Um, do you know you have rose petals all through your hair?" she said, picking several out.

"Ellie, your Uncle Bryce can't make it. Something came up in his job. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It saves me from putting up with the asshole and making like I really give a shit that he's here. I'm really happy he's not going to be here. He always manages to bring up something to make Daddy sad and I promised myself I'd kick him in the nuts the next time he did it. So, you see, I don't have to be a butt head at my own graduation."

"Eleanor Fare Bartowski, watch your language. And you'd have to stand in line to kick his nuts up into his mouth. I'm calling first in line."

Ellie hugged her impulsively and then stepped back and looked her over. "Dad got the ring resized, good. And you're glowing again, momma-Sarah, and that's good, too. Just keep him happy. He really loves you and would do anything for you, you know that, don't you?"

She blushed and replied, "You have no idea how far he goes in that department. 'Momma-Sarah' sounds like an Italian dish. Let's just keep it Sarah and Ellie."

"Works for me. I'm just glad he found you, Sarah. I was so afraid of leaving him alone when I went to L.A. but now I'm not. Just don't want to leave Devon but like you said, what's supposed to be generally is, eventually."

"Not to nag, but we're leaving for Miami Saturday morning. Remind Devon. We'll take your Suburban to the airport, if you don't mind."

"No problem. He'll be…_MY SUBURBAN!"_

"Yeah. Your dad told me to break it to you gently. He'll pick up a staff car or buy some rice rocket. We both would feel a lot better if you were driving a land yacht in L.A., something with a lot of steel around you." She handed her a set of keys on a new key chain.

"Oh, wow! DEVON, GUESS WHAT…" and she was gone, just like that.

* * *

_**A/N: Not so bad, was it? Bet the 'pucker factor' maxed out at 10 on your BS meters…lol I'm going to get this finished before Saturday. It would help a lot if the idjud's at Robichaux's would quit chanting 'dead man walking' when I stop by for a beer or three. I leach off their WiFi.**_

_**APR**_


	14. Disappear in a Puff of Smoke

MayDecember14

A/N: I actually copied a few phrases from one of her trashy reading materials she left all over the place.

* * *

They caught the Carnival Cruise ship in Miami and spent the first few hours working out the logistics of dining, meetings, and definitely, insofar as Ellie and Devon were concerned, sleeping arrangements.

Chuck had made a sizable deposit into a 'ship's debit card' for both of them and told them 'go have fun, no loitering in each other's rooms and no activities that might lead to grandchildren'. Devon blushed but Ellie just giggled and grabbed Devon's hand and took off.

"Chuck, you need to bring it down a few notches."

"What? Bring what down?"

"The 'protective father' role. Devon's scared enough of you, no sense paralyzing him with fear of midnight visits from the girlfriend's dad."

"Hey, that's a great idea. I'll just stop by occasionally, at random intervals, and just check to make sure the kids are having a great time…and not in bed. If Ellie's out after midnight I'll just casually break down Devon's door and drag her back to her room. Can Devon swim?"

Sarah was trying not to laugh but it was a hopeless cause. Some of his antics were manic while others were very endearing. Right now she wasn't sure which was which.

It was raining when the ship left port and headed south for the Bahamas, a very short jaunt but the zigzag course assured them of a sunrise arrival and a full day of spending money on shore. Chuck stood at the window of their stateroom looking out at the stormy night simply enjoying the play of lightning backlighting the clouds. With the lights off it almost seemed like he was outside.

"Hey, sailor, penny for your thoughts." Sarah stood slightly behind and to one side of him, enjoying the view of a naked fiancé backlit by the storm. God, she was casting them in some bodice-ripper of Ellie's that she'd read during one of Chuck's trips.

"Not worth the…whoa!" He focused on her reflection and was speechless. The reflection of naked Sarah Walker superimposed on a stormy sea was…incredibly erotic. She must have noticed the effect because she laughed quietly and then wrapped her hand around him.

"Come to bed, lover. Make some sense out of the world some other time. I need some serious loving. God, Chuck, this being together all the time has me in a state of constant need. Is that normal?"

"As long as I'm the only one you wrap your hand around, yeah, perfectly normal. Get the lights, babe. The lightning should be enough. Um, Sarah, do you think I should go check on the kids?"

"Leave this stateroom now, Charles, and you'll end up in Devon's for the night and I'll be deprived of having wild orgasms and so, Charles, will you, understand?"

"I guess I have to trust her then. Actually, you were right and I think Devon's not the one I need to keep an eye on. Let me just call her and make sure she's OK."

"Chuck! Focus. Warm and willing blonde temptress aching for your strong arms around me and your throbbing flesh buried deep…"

"Damn Carina! Now she's got you reading those trashy Harlequin things. It's no wonder Casey so crabby."

"…within me, flesh against flesh, our hot and sweaty bodies writhing in passion's embrace…"

"I've gone to bodice-ripper hell."

A steward passing the cabin laughed quietly as he heard a woman scream out her lover's name. He casually noted the room number and smiled. The blonde with the old guy and the two young adults. He wondered if she was his mistress or his nurse. Lucky bastard either way.

* * *

The first week passed uneventfully except for the sudden settling of tension between Devon and Ellie. Ellie had purchased a new bikini and Devon felt it was entirely 'inappropriate for someone' her age and Chuck agreed, wholeheartedly. Ellie, on the other hand, felt the bikini was 'cute' and wore it poolside day in and day out much to Devon's dismay and the delight of several young men who played water polo and worked on their tans.

"Sarah, what do you think about my bikini? You're a young woman. Is it 'inappropriate'?" The four were having dinner as their daily time together. Chuck's eyes narrowed when he heard 'young woman'. Why was age suddenly a discussion item?

"Ellie, it's fine…for a more mature woman but on a teenager, well, it's…you value my opinion? OK, here it is. It's an invitation to a guy from a girl much too young to understand the signals she's sending. You're trolling for trouble. Your other suit was fine. Still sexy but not…oh, hell, Ellie, if you want to look like a whore, wear the new suit."

There was dead silence for about 30 seconds and Sarah felt horrible that she'd crushed her future stepdaughter with her comments. Devon looked like he wanted to die and Chuck…put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it and then nodded.

"Thank you for being honest, Sarah. I'll put it away until I'm older. I didn't think… I mean, oh, Devon I'm so sorry…" and started to cry. Devon put his arm around her and looked from Sarah to Chuck for…guidance? They were in new territory themselves. Finally Chuck just suggested that Devon and Ellie needed some air and privacy and nodded towards the dining room deck exit.

After they'd left, Chuck took Sarah's hand and gently kissed her palm. "My daughter thinks the world of you, future wicked step mom. And you just taught her a lesson in such a way that it won't be forgotten or misconstrued. Thank you. I was totally lost and nothing I said would have been right, believe me."

"I feel so old, right now, Chuck. It seems like just yesterday I was having the same conversation with…" She stopped and then started pushing her desert around on her plate.

"You don't have to finish that sentence, babe. We all have baggage. I'm older and got a hell of a lot more. Feel free, though, to 'unpack' anytime. I'm always ready to listen."

"Maybe later. Right now, Chuck, I just want you to hold my hand while we walk around the deck. I'm afraid I'm not a very good role model for Ellie to be following."

Chuck snorted. "Like her mother or Carina are role models? OK, I know you think you were being a hypocrite but you weren't. We agreed, Sarah, that our lives together started at the faculty mixer in January. I won't tell you I'm not uncomfortable with thoughts of what you did before, but I try not to think of it. I'm not in denial, honey, I'm in love. There's a difference."

"I know. I just don't want her making the same judgment errors I made. It's better she learns the truth from someone else's experience instead of her own. I think this time, it worked. But what about the next time? What if she doesn't ask our opinions?"

"Welcome to parenthood, Special Agent Sarah Walker of the NSA and future bride of Charles Bartowski. One thing I've learned is that you won't be right every time but you will be right more times than you think. Just keep trying. She's worth it. You're worth it."

"Let's take that walk and then let's see how much I'm worth. They have a casino here, Chuck, and I have some mad money and an urge to try my luck. What's your favorite?"

"Poker, then blackjack. I suppose you're a roulette fan?"

"Nope. Blackjack. My weakness. Come be with me while I lose my ass, Chuck?"

"What? And what will I hold on to, caress, fondle, and spank if you lose such a delightful part of your package, Sarah?"

"Bring me luck and you won't have to worry, lover. I feel lucky tonight. And I do believe _you_ might get lucky tonight." Her eyes twinkled and she leaned over and whispered something decidedly wicked in his ear and he blushed.

"I might be too damned old for…"

"You're not old, Chuck, just experienced…" She grinned and then laughed.

"Blackjack then we'll see about peeling the paint."

* * *

**Atlanta Maximum Security Facility**  
**Prisoner In-Processing**

He sat naked on his bunk in the 4X8 cell in the most secure section of Prisoner In-Processing. Prisoners were not allowed clothing because of the high incidence of suicide once the true nature of their confinement hit home.

"Are you Bryce Larkin, Deputy Director of Covert Operations?" A tall, thick man stood outside his cell and gestured for the guard to open the cell door when Bryce acknowledged his question.

"And who the fuck are you?" He figured he had nothing to lose and being 'nice' wasn't in his current modus operandi.

"I'm your ticket out of here, Bryce. Tell me everything you know about Charles Bartowski and his lady friend and I'll make arrangements for you to be out of this 'facility' before noon tomorrow and then you'll disappear into thin air like smoke."

An hour later, satisfied that he had all the information he needed, he offered Bryce a cigarette while he lit one of his own. "No smoking in here."

The big man smirked. "What are they going to do, Larkin? Put you in jail?"

Bryce laughed and took the offered cigarette and inhaled deeply. He'd quit smoking years ago but he needed something here to calm his nerves so he could plot his revenge.

"Larkin, any kids, children?" An innocent question to pass the time.

"No, none that I own up to. Probably a few bastards running around, but they're not my problem."

"I have a daughter. Haven't seen her in years."

Bryce coughed. Damn strong cigarettes. He inhaled again. "So, why not?"

"We had a falling out. She wanted to follow in her old man's footsteps and I forbade it. She went ahead and joined the Agency anyways."

The cigarette fell from Bryce's suddenly nerveless hand to the floor. He looked down and went to reach for it but couldn't move.

"Yeah. I'm proud of her, though. A top agent. Maybe you've heard of her?"

Bryce grunted, unable to speak. "Her name is Sarah Walker."

He reached over and picked up the cigarette and flushed it and his own down the cell commode.

"A nasty habit. Kills people. You'll be out of here by noon tomorrow, Larkin. And you'll disappear into thin air. Just like I promised."

Larkin's lips were tinged with a bluish cast and his eyes were moving back and forth in terror. The big man pushed him down on the sheetless mattress and arranged his legs in a natural position.

"They cremate the bodies of dead prisoners, Larkin. Of course, you'll just _appear _dead. You'll be wide awake when they turn on the burners!" He smiled and then turned and summoned the guard.

"Let him rest. He's had a big day."

Twenty minutes later he called a number he hadn't used in years.

"Beckman, secure."

"Montgomery, secure. It's done. He hadn't had the chance to spread any information out to his contacts. Nice piece of containment at the airport. Too bad I couldn't be there to see it. Thanks for giving me the chance to make things right. This Bartowski fellow sounds like a good match for my Sarah. Goodbye, Diane."

"Roane, call her. At least tell her they're safe from his vengeance. Put her mind at ease."

"Diane, she won't take a call from me. You tell her. You're her boss now. I'm just…someone she probably never thinks about any more."

"You're still a stubborn jackass. Call her. She's getting married and you're her only living relative as well as her father. Go meet her fiancé and his daughter. Don't be…"

"Fine. I'll call her. Now, I have to get to the Springs and I don't want to miss my plane. I'll be in touch."

Sarah was standing behind Chuck as he slaughtered the blackjack table and raked in another winning hand. She should have known he'd be devastating at the tables. He could figure permutations and probabilities in his mind as easily as his fellow gamblers could figure out the point value of their hands.

Chuck was having a marvelous run of luck thanks to the 2.0 intersect. Chance brought him the occasional loss but overall he was up almost $900.00 but it wasn't as much fun as it was when he and Larkin would drive to Vegas and make money counting cards and playing blackjack so he decided enough was enough. He flipped a chip to the dealer and smiled and then he and Sarah walked around the promenade deck and talked softly.

They were talking about maybe going to Vegas to get married or waiting and having the traditional wedding Chuck wanted for her in Sierra Vista when they were interrupted by her cell phone.

She looked at the ID and cursed. "Chuck, I need to take this. Could I have a few minutes alone, please? I'll explain everything to you, my love, I promise."

He nodded and walked back into the casino and walked around to the slot machines where he could keep an eye on her. He didn't distrust her. Not at all. He wanted to make sure she didn't need him so he watched for signs she did.

"Walker, secure but public."

"Hello, Sarah. Thank you for taking my call. Bryce Larkin will no longer be a problem for you and Charles. He suffered a fatal heart attack, or so it will appear to any cusory medical examiner, and then will be cremated. He never even got to say goodbye to any of his many friends in the business world.

"Thank you. That's very good to know. I…"

"I miss you, Sarah. I'd like to meet the man who tamed you…"

"I'd like that, Daddy. I miss you. And you'll love your new granddaughter. And her dad. He's special."

"Just like you are. Well, I have a party to get to. Let's get together soon. I've never been to FT Huachuca and Diane tells me it's 'interesting'. Did you know they filmed Bonanza there?"

"No, Daddy, I didn't. Call me when you get home and have time to talk. I want you to meet my family and I want them to meet you."

"I'll…I'll call you."

Chuck walked quickly up to her and took her into his arms. "That was my Dad. Larkin's out of the picture. Fatal heart attack. No chance to disseminate information about you and your…talents. I want him to meet my new family, Chuck. Is that OK?"

"He's ex-Agency?"

"Sort of. He's retired…again."

"I'd like that. Someone to give you away. It's perfect timing, Sarah."

"Yeah. It was. Now, take me to bed, lover, or lose me to the blackjack tables for the night."

* * *

_**A/N: Some of you probably think Larkin got off easy but imagine the last 4 or 5 minutes of your life, stuck in a dying body, unable to move, each breath more and more difficult to take. Take this experiment if you dare. Exhale as forcefully as you can and then stop yourself from inhaling. Count the seconds until you feel the panic setting in, the burning in the bottom of your lungs, the incredible need to inhale but don't…hold it…hold it…see the warm white light? Bwahaha. No kidding. Try it. I got to 17.**_

_**APR**_


	15. Flash Crash Clash

MayDecember15

* * *

**Bartowski Stateroom  
2am**

"Chuck, look at me. It happens to guys. We've been going at it like rabbits for months now and…don't look away from me, sweetheart. It's OK. We'll just cuddle or I could just give you a…"

"No. Please. I…I'm only 42. This only happens to guys in commercials or in movies or _old men_. Maybe I'm just tired or worried about something I don't know I'm worried about…hell, I don't know. I'm sorry. Maybe you should just…go back to the casino. Play your percentages and try not to lose this at the tables." He stroked his fingertips up over her buttocks and she shivered.

"No. This is when we need each other the most, when things aren't all fine and dandy. Roll over on your stomach. I'll give you a special secret backrub known only to CIA cootchie mommas. Relax, baby, relax and let me take care of you for a change."

He was asleep in 10 minutes. She smiled and cuddled up against him and soon was asleep dreaming of weddings and babies and the good things they had to look forward to in life.

* * *

Sarah and Ellie were finishing breakfast and Devon and Chuck were debating the Diamond Back's chances when his cell rang. He looked at the caller ID and frowned.

"Excuse me. It's the post calling. I have to take this. Sarah, keep the table. I'm really not done eating." She smiled, nodding. She knew he was planning on telling the caller 'no'.

He walked out onto the deck and leaned against the railing watching the waves and listening to his cell phone ring. If he answered, their vacation was over. If he didn't, he'd just have the voicemail to deal with and no options to bargain.

"Bartowski, secure, on vacation, in the ocean miles from land."

His caller laughed but then got serious. "Beckman, secure, landlocked and working. Major, we have need of your special services. There's a critical situation that has arisen and I need your help. Are you willing to run a mission with Agent Walker as your partner, Chuck?"

"What's the situation, General? As for Walker, it depends on the situation. I've never 'worked' with her in the field and I would rather run solo if it's a shooting situation or with Carina. She knows the moves. She knows me."

"Agent Casey has broken her ankle and is off active service for a unknown period of time. There are no solo options, Major, not with what's in your head."

"What's the situation?"

"A Fulcrum elder has contacted us and wishes to 'come in' after assurances of immunity. She's new to the Executive Council but very knowledgeable of their infrastructure and personnel. It would break their back, Major. She's been in Fulcrum from the beginning but has only now reached the Council level."

"So if she's finally made it to the top, why come home now?"

"What do you know about an operation called _'Alpine Reflection'_?"

He flashed hard and sagged against the deck railing dropping the phone. Sarah, who had been standing behind him making no effort to hide her eavesdropping, grabbed the phone after making sure Chuck wouldn't slide overboard under the rail webbing.

_**This is from Sarah's POV**_

"This is Sarah Walker speaking. Who is this?" I'm angry and worried. Chuck is just sitting on the deck leaning back against the webbing. He seems almost in a trance of some kind.

"Agent Walker, this is General Beckman. What's happening? Is Bartowski all right?"

"Unknown. It's like he's in a trance. His eyes are moving around and his lips are moving but all I can get is 'No, no, no'. He's shaking like he's having a seizure or something."

"That's a flash. The intersect is feeding him data on a topic I asked him about. Make sure he's secure and if anyone asks, he's ill, probably malaria, no, make that 'recovering from a surgery and he overdid it'. When he's able, return him to your stateroom and call me. He's not sick and he's not having a seizure, Sarah, it's the intersect working."

"But if it were a critical situation and he flashed, it could prove deadly! This is crazy, General. He shouldn't be in the field!" I hate Diane Beckman. She's never been an operative and has no idea that a shoot-out doesn't have a 'pause' button because Chuck might flash on something.

"You have your orders, Agent Walker." She disconnected. I pull Chuck to his feet and drag/carry/help him to our stateroom. He looks like he had received an emotional shock of some kind so I put him on the bed and put a cold, wet cloth over his forehead.

"Chuck, it's me, honey. I need to know what happened. I need to know what data you downloaded. General Beckman expects a call back in a few minutes. Please, Chuck, talk to me."

I'm scared to death and I think I might cry. Damn him! Why did he do it? Why does he always put the world first and us last?

That's unfair. He doesn't have a choice what he flashes on. I'm the one who is being unfair – to him. He's been the host a lot longer than we've known each other. He does his duty.

* * *

I watch him like a hawk. Beckman calls and I explain that he's in some kind of fugue state and she immediately goes into overdrive.

"Agent Walker, an NSA aircraft will be en route to your next landfall. You and the Major will be brought back here to FT Meade where he will get the care he needs. Ellie and Devon Woodcomb will accompany an agent team back to Sierra Vista where Agent Casey will stay with her. We'll make up a story to satisfy any curiosity. It can't be helped. Call me when he regains consciousness."

I call the purser's office and ask to have Ellie paged and told to come to our stateroom. I don't know what I'm going to tell her.

A whisper from our bed jolts me into action. "S – Sarah? What happened?"

"Shhh, honey. It's OK. You flashed on something up on deck and I guess passed out. I got you here. Beckman…"

"Shit. _'Alpine Reflection'_. Where's my cell? I have to call Beckman. I can't run this op. I won't run this op. No way. My cell…"

"Shhh. Beckman's sending a plane for us when we get to St. Bart's. Ellie and Devon will be escorted back to Sierra Vista and Ellie will stay with the Colonel and Carina. She's worried about your…"

Just then Ellie comes in and I get my first dose of ElliePanic. It's endearing at first blush but becomes irritating in seconds.

"Eleanor, he's OK. He's just had a flashback to Iraq. He's OK. I need to talk to you out in the companionway. I need to explain some things." I lead her out into the companionway and turn on Agent Walker.

"There's no reason, sense or time for panic here, Ellie. It's something that happens. I've contacted his boss and she's sending a plane for us. You and Devon will have to go back to Arizona but you'll have an escort. I don't know how long we'll be away but I'll be in constant touch, Ellie."

"It's that damned project, isn't it? He's never had one of these before. What's…?"

The stateroom door opens and Chuck pulls Ellie inside into a crushing embrace, motioning me into the room with a glance.

"Ellie, I'm fine. Sometimes I sense smells, noises, weird stuff and I'm back in the tank. The dreams are history, baby girl, but sometimes…I'm going to get some help from some Army shrinks. I need Sarah with me to help keep me grounded. Everything's going to be fine. Now, go find Devon and enjoy your few days of vacation."

He pushes her out the door with a laugh and then turns to me, suddenly all business.

"Agent Walker, I need to know if you're capable and comfortable with running a high-risk op as my partner. I'm asking _Agent _Walker, not my fiancée, not my beloved, not my girlfriend. I'm asking _Agent_ Walker, the professional."

I answer him the only way I know how in my persona as an agent. "It depends, Chuck. What are the mission parameters, what is the potential opposition and what backup or reinforcements are available?"

"Good questions. I have no answers. Yes or no?"

My heart breaks for him. His face is purely professional but his eyes are desperately asking me to say 'No'.

"Yes, Major Bartowski, I'm ready to partner with you on an unknown operation. I'm sure our combined skill sets will prove unbeatable." His professional smile belies the disappointment in his eyes. He wanted me to say 'No' but I can't. The agent in me was screaming 'NO' but the woman who loves him smiled 'Yes'.

Sorry, Chuck. Love wins.

* * *

**A/N: I have to cut it here and cut it short. I'll update when I can. Traveling circus is in town and I have things to do.**

**APR**


	16. Hanging By A Thread

MayDecember16

_A/N: The wedding was nice, quiet, informal - lies, all lies. It was a swirling mass of traditions and music and strange foods and new relatives, a big Acadian party. I learned a bunch of French words for various portions of the female anatomy from my bro-in-law the hacker. We're in Pennsylvania for the rest of the week. Probably going to try and find some of my family just to shut her up. Two interviews and one looked promising. I don't want to move here. Spent 20 years getting away from Philly._

_Warning: Angst but not terminal or all-consuming. Necessary friction to set the tone for the confrontation with Beckman._

* * *

Previously in May 'til December: _"Yes, Major Bartowski, I'm ready to partner with you on an undefined operation. I'm sure our combined skill sets will prove unbeatable."_

* * *

With those two sentences I suspend a personal relationship and begin a professional one. His eyes had begged for a different response but I just can't do it. I cannot allow the man I have come to idolize, treasure, cherish and adore to fight this battle alone. I will be at his side, his partner in the truest sense of the word, ready to handle whatever comes our way. I have no choice. I love him.

In my quietest voice, stuffing Sarah into the back of my mind and dragging out the Bitch Goddess, Sarah the Black Widow, I ask him to tell me everything he knows about the mission and the flash.

"Major, talk to me. Brief me in. I need time to absorb and understand the background you simply 'know' from your flash." I use his title rather than the usual 'lover' or 'honey' or 'Chuck'. He looks strangely amused but then his features morph back into the man who charged the Iraqis, who smelled himself burning but who accomplished his mission regardless of the cost.

"_Alpine Reflection _is the project code name for the insertion of a female agent into the lowest levels of the fledgling Fulcrum organization. It was initialized during the second Clinton administration and activated during Bush's 1st term and continues right up to the present."

"She assumed a deep cover persona and severed ties with her old life abruptly and permanently leaving behind family and friends forever. It probably wasn't that hard for her since she'd formed no emotional attachments and her 'friends' were her agent co-workers."

"That was 8 years ago but she'd been in preparation for the past 10 years, slowly eroding her relationships and destroying friendships, becoming another person while still in her '_original skin'_.

"Major, do you know her original skin or just her current identity?"

"Yes, I do but it isn't germane to this mission, Sarah. This mission involves contact with and extraction of Helena Franks, wife of the current Canadian ambassador to Switzerland, Frederick Franks. She is a Swiss citizen and Director of the Banco Centrale, an Italian investment bank headquarted in Berne for tax purposes."

"Why is it never any place warm like the Caymans?"

"Beckman will be waiting for my report and your agreement. Thank you for your support." He turned away but not before I see the look in his eyes. He'd wanted me to say 'No' and now he felt…I don't know what he feels.

"Hey…just a minute." I have his attention but not his interest.

"I'm still your Sarah and you're still my Chuck. We're still the couple who love each other without reservation and are planning to marry. This doesn't change anything, baby. I'm still your Sarah."

"I have to call Beckman. No sense delaying the mission for 'counseling'. It's not necessary. I'm sorry to cut short your vacation."

"There'll be other vacations, sweetheart. Other times. Let's get this done so we can go home, Chuck."

"Yeah. Home." His voice carries something I've never heard in it before and I call him on it. No more lapses in communication.

"What's that supposed to mean, Chuck? What's with the tone of voice?"

"I don't know if 'home' will be the same after this. I wanted you to tell me 'No'. I wanted you to tell me you were done with being a spy, an operator. I wanted you to tell me there was no room in your life, in our lives, for all of this. I wanted to hear you say that you were committed to the 'us' in Sierra Vista not the 'us' of an operational partnership."

The words rushed out, pushed by his disappointment.

"Look at me, Chuck, please, baby. The agent in me was saying 'No', the agent knows this is too damned risky but the woman who loves you and can't be without you said 'Yes'. I am committed to the 'us' in Sierra Vista. It's why I can't say 'No'. It's why I have to be with you, by your side. It's as simple as that."

"Nothing about this is simple, Sarah. This will be the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Nothing except watching you die could possibly be harder. You just don't understand. I need to call Beckman. I'll just be a second and then we need to go up on deck and work out our covers and then reassure the kids and explain what's going on."

* * *

Check stepped out into the companionway to make his call, effectively isolating me from the intel and from himself.

"Beckman, secure. Major, are you all right?"

"Mission capable. Team of two. Walker and Bartowski. We'll be awaiting our flight from St. Bart's. I'll need any new intel on the target as well as all we have on her employer and her husband. I'll need histories and we'll need covers for Agent Walker and myself. No counseling is required, General. I have a grip on things. I just want to get this done."

"Have you told Agent Walker all the facts, Major? It might have been a big factor in her decision."

"She has no 'need to know', General. No need to know at all."

"Major, you know there will be personal consequences. If we didn't need your unique skill set I never would have involved you in the mission."

"OK, General, but you did so now it's just another pair of agents kicked to the curb on behalf of the greater good. Expected." He disconnected. Fuck her and her plots! This was the last time.

* * *

**Sarah's POV**

He's frozen me out. There's no other explanation. He wants to try and keep 'Agent Walker' from contaminating his precious Sarah. I suppose I should be flattered but I'm angry instead, insulted that he has so little appreciation for what I've done.

We go up on deck and find Devon and a rattled Ellie. Devon doesn't have a clue what's going on in his girlfriend's head and Ellie doesn't know what she can tell him. Chuck doesn't seem to care but I do.

"Devon, Ellie, walk with me. Chuck, stay here and work on the details. We'll just be a few minutes." I don't wait for his approval or even acknowledgment. I just drag them away and walk.

"Devon, Ellie, this is the real deal. I don't want questions, just your words of honor that this stays here in the family. Understand?" I can see that Devon is touched to be included in 'the family'. He'll probably change his mind but we can worry about security leaks down the road after we get the mission behind us.

"Ellie's father is an Army major who also functions on occasion as an operational component of the NSA. Yes, he's a college professor and yes, an Army officer but the Army also deals with the NSA and that's where it gets complicated. He and I, well, he and I, we…"

"I knew it. It was all a sham, a cover for…you're just like Carol and my mother and you lied to me. You said it was real, Sarah, if that's even your real name. You lied. Devon, don't believe a word this woman says. She's just looking after my dad for the government, isn't that right, Agent Whoeveryouare?"

"NO! What your father and I have is very real. We are engaged, Ellie, really. It's for real. I was an agent but my contract expires in September and I'm free and we are going to get married. Just ask him. Now, we don't have time for anymore of this soap opera crap. There's something your dad and I have to do, together. It's dangerous. We're leaving the ship in St. Bart's and you and Devon are flying back to Arizona. You can't tell anyone, Devon. Never, ever. Understand?"

Devon nods his head but looks at Ellie with 'new eyes'. I wonder if this will destroy two relationships before it's done.

I tell Ellie and Devon to go do whatever it is they do when we're not with them and go in search of my…partner. I tell myself that I have to separate the partner from the lover and it's harder than ever to do so. Damn Beckman!

Later as we dressed for dinner I ask him the one question that's been nagging at me since the 'briefing' that I received from him earlier.

"Chuck, there's more to this assignment than you're telling me and partners have to be open and honest with each other with anything regarding the mission. You holding something back from me and I can't have that. It's not professional and it's not smart. What is it?"

"Nothing that affects you. Nothing that brings risk to the mission. It's a simple in and out. I don't know why we're even involved. This isn't even an intelligence matter. All the mark has to do is go to work some day and then walk across the street to the American Embassy and ask for the CIA Chief of Station and she's back in the fold."

"So that's what's got you in a tizzy? Is it because we're involved? Did you ask Beckman?"

"Not in so many words. I figure we'll have more than enough time at FT Meade to corner the General and beat the truth out of her."

I walk over to where he's fiddling with his tie and turn around, lifting my hair from the back of my neck and murmur "Zip me up, please?" and wait.

I feel his fingers grasp the zipper clip and then efficiently zip my dress up.

"There. You look nice." He turns back to the mirror and fiddles with his tie. I walk into the bathroom trying not to cry. It has been a ritual since the very first time I'd ask him to help me. I'd ask, he'd zip and then kiss the back of my neck, slowly bring his mouth to the hollow of my collar bone and promise to complete things when he 'unzips' me.

* * *

**Chuck's POV**

The probabilities of success for this mission are abysmal. She should have said 'no' but she didn't. She's a professional, I'm a part time agent when things are generally so bleak that Beckman or one of the other Agency directors uses me as a last resort measure. I'm lucky I'm alive. I don't want to risk losing my future wife – my entire future is wrapped up in her.

The probabilities of success given what I know and what I suspect and according to what 2.0 provided were…hell, abysmal isn't even close to describing it.

_Analysis follows.  
__Probability of success: 23.1%  
__Probability of failure: 54,8%_

_Unknown factors (emotion, lack of data) 21.1% Probability of error +/- 2.0%_

I'm afraid. For the first time in years I'm afraid of failing because failure means her death. I cannot have that. I will not allow it. What if I went in solo?

_Analysis follows._

_Probability of success: 39.0%  
__Probability of failure: 40.1%  
__Unknown factors (emotion, lack of data) 20.0%_

_Probability of error +/- 0.9_

Humph. Throw out my fear and it's almost an even split between success and failure.

What if it's a trap to capture the intersect host? What are the probabilities?

_Analysis follows._

_Probability of false flag: 56.6% Probability sanctioned mission: 30.1  
__Unknown factors (lack of data): 13.3%  
__Probability of error: +/- 0.3%_

_Recommendation: **Abort! Host must not be compromised. **_

Sometimes not knowing but suspecting was better than knowing. I can feel my fear settling in like a large block of ice in the pit of my stomach.

"Zip me up, please?" I turn and she's standing there with her hair held away from her beautiful neck so elegantly and I fumble with the tiny handle on the zipper and pull it gently upwards. I start to lean down and kiss her neck down to the hollow formed by her collar bone but stop.

"There. You look nice." I turn back towards the mirror so she won't see how upset I am. I love this woman and I'm dragging her into a cesspool and I'm terrified of losing her. I fumble with my tie. I have to find a way to leave her behind. I'd rather she hated me for leaving her behind than died because she loved me.

I can hear her in the bathroom. I'll give her a few more minutes to cover the tracks of her tears. My own will dry without being noticed.

* * *

**Ellie's POV**

_My father, the spy. His fiancé, the spy. And she swears up and down that what they have is 'real'. My mom once told me that the reason she and my dad were so happy was because what they had was 'real' love. And then one day some guys came to Auntie Carina's and talked to her and then my dad came home from the war hurt. My mom went someplace the same night my dad got hurt and never came back. That was real._

_I reach for Devon's hand under the table with its draping tablecloth covering my actions. It's damp and he hasn't looked up from his meal since we sat down. Sarah's been very quiet and I can tell she's been crying. My dad has this faraway look in his eyes like he used to get when he first got out of the hospital. He's afraid of something. I can read him like a book. Is he afraid OF her or FOR her?_

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair, not at all the usual rambunctious gathering of a loving family and friend. Food got pushed around, wine was drunk in fairly large quantities and if tension were a tangible commodity, you'd need a ginzu to cut through it.

Chuck finally looked up at Ellie and smiled. "Sarah and I are going to do a little gambling and then some dancing. We'll see you two in the morning. Devon, it's not all that bad. No one's going to sneak into your stateroom and cut your throat while you sleep."

"Well, Doc, I just, I mean, it's a lot to take in. I think Ellie and I are going down to the dance club. She'll be back by curfew." Curfew was a sticking point with Ellie. Chuck had been quite adamant. No scheduled event, stateroom by 1am.

"Fine. Ellie, 2am curfew. Don't abuse our trust in you. Devon, don't let her talk you into anything foolish. She's very persuasive."

Sarah had been listening expressionless but when he said '_our_ trust', the corners of her mouth twitch and she fought to hide a smile.

She watched the two leave and she leaned over and whispered, "No matter what happens, Chuck, I will always, always, love you. Now, let's go break the casino's bank and then find some dark corner and make out like horny teenagers."

"No. I want to unzip you."

"OK, that works even better."

* * *

She was exhausted. They'd made love 3 times and she'd lost track of the number of times she's lost all control. There was a desperate quality to their loving and she'd tried to quell what she knew was his fear that maybe this might be the last time. It wasn't that she could read his mind or that he'd whispered something that tipped her to what he was thinking. No. She knew because it was exactly how she felt. She could feel his fear. It was palpable just as her own was.

"Chuck, please talk to me. I know you're afraid. I am, too. I'm afraid of losing us but I can't get a grip on your fear. What is it? Let me in, Chuck."

He rolled off her and lay on his back looking at the ceiling and wondering if he should try again to convince her to withdraw from the mission. It was fucked. It was a setup and no one seemed to have figured it out. He'd confront Beckman with the numbers from the intersect and if she wouldn't accept them the what the hell were they trying to achieve if they were just going to ignore their creation?

"The intersect thinks it's a setup – a trap to capture the host. 56% chance it's a false flag. Of course, it's slanted toward that because there's a huge emotional factor and lack of data to consider in interpreting it."

"That's it? That's what's freaked you out? Chuck, it's a machine's interpretation. It needs a human to analyze it. It's got to be more to it."

"Yeah, there is. The agent who was sent in? I knew her. Really well. I really knew her well. Very well."

"So? Big deal. It'll make identifying her and extracting her easier, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll be able to identify her without a doubt. After all, I was married to the bitch for 12 years."

* * *

**A/N: Most of you should have expected that. If you didn't, well…BOO!**

APR


	17. Screwing With Their Minds

MayDecember17

* * *

_Previously: 'I'll be able to identify her without a doubt. After all, I was married to the bitch for 12 years'._

* * *

"What? Your – but she's dead, Chuck. You said so. You _TOLD_ me and everybody else that she was dead." She was shocked, angry, and scared, all things anathema to the psyche of a secret agent.

Chuck felt her stiffen and then pull away from him. He sighed. He hated this. He hated that he'd been lied to and deceived all these years. She was dead. She had to be.

"Sarah, please, don't pull away from me now when I need you more than ever. I only found out when I flashed on the _Alpine Reflection_ file. I think that's why I had such a reaction. I was shocked and angry. Not at you, no, never at you. I was…disgusted and horrified that a person would do that to someone they took vows with, turn her back on her own daughter for the sake of a fucking job? Love of country does have its limits, Sarah."

She said nothing, figuring that silence would prompt him to keep talking and maybe she'd find out what was really bothering him – not just that his wife was alive and living the good life in Switzerland.

He rolled onto his side, bringing his body close to her without touching. He didn't want the distraction. It was hard enough looking into those blue eyes and saying what he had to say. It needed to be said, if only to settle things between them.

"Sarah, I'm divorced. The fact that she's alive doesn't change that. Nothing has changed my feelings toward you and my hopes for our future together. But I have to be honest. I'm questioning my commitment to a government that would make an agent walk away from her life and go deep cover, abandoning her child for the sake of a mission. How can I trust any agent? How can I trust…"

"Me. You want to know how you can trust me not to be working against you for the sake of some op you have yet to figure out, right? You want to know if I'll pull a 'Jill' on you sometime, when you least expect it, right?"

He didn't say anything but she'd learn to read his eyes.

"You can't. You can't trust anyone. You can only put _your_ trust in them and live life to the fullest. I'm being brutally honest with you. I'm not working an op. I have no agenda other than spending the rest of my life with you. But other than telling you that, there's not a damned thing I can do to prove it."

"I know. But hearing you say it makes me feel better."

* * *

They left the ship when it berthed for the day in St. Bart's. They were met by a quartet of men who identified themselves as NSA agents.

Devon and Ellie were whisked away to the airport for a series of flights back to their home in Arizona. Chuck and Sarah boarded a private jet and flew first to Miami and then on to Baltimore.

Sarah held his hand in a death grip the entire flight from Miami to Baltimore. Her mind was focused on Chuck and his bitterness towards the entire intel community and it's controlling authorities. She could understand some of the bitterness but felt he was investing way too much in blaming the government and too little in blaming his ex-wife. No one could be _forced _to take a long-term undercover op, at least not that _she'd_ ever heard.

The meeting with Beckman was brief and to the point. Chuck was quietly pissed and he tried not to let it show. Beckman was the boss, a general, and he was a mere major and her subordinate, underling, lackey, serf, slave, he ran out of words but not anger. He glanced once or twice to his left but she seemed to be enthralled with whatever Beckman was saying. Chuck couldn't have cared less and he figured 'screw 'em, they've taken over my life again, but for the last time'.

"Excuse me, General, why are we tasked with bringing this woman back into the happy family of the Intelligence Combine? _Any_one could handle it. Hell, all she has to do is walk out of her office in the Banco Centrale and walk across the street to the embassy. Why us?"

She didn't appreciate the interruption and her brows knitted together adding to her already permanent scowl. "Major, she has valuable intel that…"

"Excuse me, General, but why have Sarah and I been tasked to bring her in? The intersect suggests there's a 56% chance that this is a 'false flag' exercise and the recommendation is to abort the mission. It's closer to 76% if you factor out the emotional component of the analysis."

"That's a chance we'll have to take. Now, if I might continue…"

"Excuse me, General, but if the intersect is such a high priority project, why are only Sarah and I being assigned? And why is the intersect host being left out to dry with just a single agent accompanying him? I have better security in Sierra Vista. Why are the recommendations of the intersect being ignored?"

"Major Bartowski, allow me to finish the briefing and then I will address your questions and concerns. For now, the best minds in the intel game have analyzed the mission and have decided that this is the most effective and least intrusive method of extraction that will guarantee her cooperation."

Beckman droned on for another 10 minutes and finally wrapped it up. "And now, Major, your questions?"

"You said 'guarantee her cooperation'. If she wants to come in, why should her cooperation be a concern?"

Beckman sighed, uncharacteristically, and looked at Sarah Walker with something akin to a plea for forgiveness but that was quickly squelched as the 'General' took over, the woman suppressed once again.

"Because, Major Bartowski, she wishes to resume her life where she left it, married and a mother."

"You have _got_ to be shitting me!" Sarah immediately threw her hands over her mouth and turned bright red, horrified at the lapse in her professionalism.

"No, Agent Walker, I'm not. We're concerned that she's…delusional, that the stress of working undercover for such a long time may have caused certain…"

Chuck interrupted again. "She's fucking nutty as a fruitcake, that's what you're getting at. She thinks she can just walk back into her old life like a pair of comfortable old shoes and everything and everyone will be the same as they were when she left them? I agree with Agent Walker. And no, General, no. No way. This is…this is so wrong on so many levels. What kind of idiots do you have running the asylum you call 'planning'?"

"Major, you'll only have to participate until we can determine whether the information she has is valid or…the product of a mentally disturbed mind."

"This whole idea is the product of a mentally disturbed mind." Chuck was seething and also upset that Sarah had sat there without a word after her outburst.

"Chuck, let the General explain what's necessary before we dismiss this out of hand. Think of the benefits of having the inside scoop on Fulcrum from an Elder who worked her way up through the ranks." Her eyes were begging him to calm down and find out what the General's plan was before saying anything else.

"Fine, Agent Walker. Let's hear it, General. Or would you rather I tell you what you have planned?" He wasn't exactly sarcastic but damned close to it.

"Well, Major, since you seem to have hit the high points with the 'comfortable old shoes' analogy, have at it." Secretly she was damned glad not to have to explain this in Agent Walker's presence. The two were engaged and this operation would test the strength of that bond. This is why spies never formed relationships until they were free of the Combine.

"You want me, the intersect, to pick up Jill in her persona as 'Helena Franks' and take her back to Sierra Vista, reintroduce her to my daughter and then proceed to pick her brain in a comfortable environment and use the intersect to validate the information. You want me to take my cheating whore of an ex-wife and bring her into Sarah's home and pick up where we left prior to my deployment to Iraq the 2nd time, dragging my almost 18-year old daughter into this mess."

"Yes. Basically that's it."

"And I'm sure there's no way around this since your brain trust thinks this is the best way to do it, right?"

"Right again, Major."

"How long do you think this process will take before you feel you have sufficient proof and I can throw the bitch back under her rock and move on with _my_ life?"

"We aren't sure. It depends on you, Major, on your powers of persuasion and in how quickly you can gain her confidence and get her to debrief."

"She has no idea I'm NSA, General. What makes any of you think that she's going to open up to me and just spill all those secrets?"

"Because she's been told you're CIA and that Agent Walker is your partner. Agent Walker will maintain a presence throughout the operation in your home and provide backup and security. As for you daughter's role…"

"My daughter will have no role in this, General. She's not for hire by the Combine. Forget it. I forbid it. You cannot overrule my right as a parent."

"Major, please don't make me use methods that could cause difficulties between you and your daughter. If certain information were leaked out to her, it could be devastating." Beckman at least _looked_ uncomfortable for once.

Chuck laughed and even Sarah smiled.

"And just what is so funny, Major?"

"Ellie knows that Bryce Larkin is her biological father and has since the 9th grade. I've known since before the divorce. We buried that body a long time ago, General. I'm her dad, she's my kid. Period. She tolerates Larkin since he's been her Godfather for years but she loathes him, General. That's a no-starter."

"There are other pressures that can be brought to bear. An inquiry into the legitimacy of your divorce, difficulty in getting into UCLA…many things, Major."

"You don't want to go there, General. You need what's between my ears until the next generation is active. I'm open to compromise but Ellie is out of this discussion or this discussion is over."

"Fine. We'll say she's in Europe on a tour arranged by you and Agent Walker as a graduation gift. Now, you two will be traveling as partners, she can assume what she likes about your relationship, Major, but you will allow her to assume that your marriage is salvageable. It's the key to the debriefing."

"And how does her current 'husband' feel about that, General?"

"He's gay and she's his 'beard'. It works for them. There's a fondness between them but that's about as far as it goes."

"When do we begin this farce?"

"You leave for Geneva tomorrow and contact will be made on Thursday and she'll be brought back via government aircraft to FT Huachuca. The debriefing will be conducted there but she will be staying at your place. Agent Walker, I know this puts a strain on your relationship but it's necessary. A last hurrah mission. If there are no further questions, we're done here."

* * *

They walked down the corridor and into the elevator. Sarah pushed the lobby button and Chuck pushed the emergency stop.

"You OK with this, honey? It's got to be the biggest rat screw in history. This isn't going to get between us, is it? It's all…part of the spy game, right? You know, Sarah, you have to know, that this is all play acting. It doesn't mean a thing. I'm yours, you're mine. Just like last week and just like next month."

She glanced at the surveillance camera and snickered. Give the bitch a show.

She reached over and unzipped Chuck's fly and reached into his suit pants. He snickered and pulled her hand away and kissed her instead. When he broke off the kiss Sarah whimpered and then glared at him. "You will finish what you started in our room, Major. Honor demands it."

He chuckled and then laughed out loud. He smacked her on her ass and said, 'I have not yet begun to seduce you, Sarah. I want to see how many coats of paint are on the walls." He threw the camera the finger and walked out into the lobby, his hand resting possessively on one cheek of her butt.

The NSA surveillance team laughed when they ran the footage. Some guys had all the luck.

* * *

_**A/N: Angst is over. I think. Hell, I don't know. This thing has a mind of its own. Well, not really. I have a mind of my own. And I'm of two minds for how this will go. Since I don't have to worry about pissing off the old lady, I'll just go with the truth.**_


	18. O What Tangled Webs We Weave

MayDecember18

**_A/N: This chapter is for King Chuck who really digs the angsty crap and is almost anal about reviewing – and I appreciate it even when I don't always read and post a nasty rebuttal… lol_**  
**_APR – bored in Philly but going to AC tomorrow_**Corporate Offices  
Banco Centrale  
Geneva, Switzerland

* * *

Chuck and Sarah appeared in the offices of the investment bank bright and early Friday morning. Chuck approached the information desk and inquired about the offices of Ms. Helena Franks, managing director of the bank. He had an appointment.

The woman eyed Chuck in his expensive English suit and his 'assistant' in her equally expensive business attire and asked them to take the elevator to the 7th floor where Ms. Franks' assistant would meet them.

Chuck held Sarah's hand in the elevator and noticed her damp palm. "Sarah, think of this as just another mission. Honey, nothing this woman can say or do will come between us. You believe me, don't you?"

"I want to, more than anything, but you were married to her for 12 years. That meant something. I know you. I know how intense your love is. It didn't just go away, Chuck. That's not the man I fell in love with. We'll just be very careful and open with each other. But…I'm nervous and I'll tell you right now that I'm worried about whether our relationship can weather this storm. Never doubt my love for you. It's you who are the vulnerable party here, Chuck, not me."

He squeezed her hand reassuringly and muttered, "Don't I know it."

The elevator doors opened up to a large and ornate reception area. A short, squat woman with gray hair and glasses met them and led them to a conference room and told them that 'Signora Franks would be with them directly'.

"She reminds me of Eva Blundt from the Bond movies." Sarah giggled but then put on her 'game face' and opened her brief case and took out and activated a jammer and also several forms, travel documents and a new passport for Ms. Franks. She thumbed through the passport and gasped as she noted that the passport was in the name of Jill R. Bartowski.

"Sarah, something wrong?"

"No. Paper cut."

"Liar."

"Passport's in her married name, Jill R. Bartowski."

"Good cover. No one tracking Helena Franks by her passport."

Sarah was about to respond when the conference room door opened and an elegantly dressed woman in her late 30s walked in, turned and closed the heavy door and locked it. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small jamming device, activated it and set it on the conference table.

"We need to leave as soon as possible. I have mailed a package to myself in Sierra Vista containing all the documents I've copied from the latest intel distribution reports. I have several flash drives here but most of the background is in here," pointing to her head, "and I want out, now. Please, we can leave immediately and be at the airport within 30 minutes. I have to go now."

She only spoke to Sarah, never even glancing at Chuck. Sarah assumed the role of lead agent and ran with it.

"Signora Franks, we'll have you on a US jet within the hour. Let's go." She glanced at Chuck who seemed to be in a daze.

"Agent Bartowski, is there something wrong?" Professional attitude and tone of voice.

"No. No. I just…no, let's go. Lead the way, Signora Franks. Agent Walker and I will be right behind you." Something was wrong with this whole deal. She seems terrified. Maybe her cover's been blown. "Signora Franks, is you cover still secure?" It was the first time he'd spoken directly to his wife in almost 9 years. _Ex-wife, ex-wife… stay focused and on-mission._

"I think so. I've had no indications to the contrary. Why?"

"You seem…nervous."

"Wouldn't you be if the man you loved walked into your office years after you'd betrayed and left him while he was fighting in Iraq? Agent Walker, what do you think?" Her question was not rhetorical and required an answer. She looked at Sarah, waiting for her answer.

"I think…it doesn't matter what I think, Signora. What matters is what happened." She glanced at Chuck and was rewarded with a brief 'air kiss' unseen by their mark. She almost laughed. Maybe she was concerned about nothing.

The ride down to the ground floor in the elevator was long and quiet. Chuck stood in the very back while Sarah and their mark stood side-by-side. He reached out and let his fingertips run down Sarah's back, hoping that his touch would help her overcome whatever doubts and fears were going through her mind.

They walked across the busy street to the American Embassy but Chuck stopped them from entering.

"Sarah, I'll see you at the airport. Jill, come with me." He shot Sarah a look that said 'trust me' and she nodded. He'd been really nervous but had maintained the cover well. She walked into the embassy and checked in with the Station Chief and made her contact report to General Beckman.

* * *

He grabbed Jill's hand and flagged down a cab and told the driver to take them to the diplomatic terminal. He helped Jill into the cab and than sat close to her, still holding her hand.

"Why have we left your partner behind, Chuck? What's going on?" She reminded him so much of 'the early Jill' that it hurt.

"I need to tell you some things, things you don't know but let's hold the conversation until we're in a more secure area."

The drive to the airport took 30 minutes and they resumed their conversation in the diplomatic lounge. Chuck propped a jammer on their table and they talked.

"Firstly, I'm not a CIA agent. Far from it. I'm a major in the Army stationed at FT Huachuca and the Chair of the Physics & Engineering departments at ASU. I do research into cybernetic data transfers using optical media. This…thing…" he made an encompassing motion with his free hand, "is to bring you back home. I – I thought I was over you, that I'd mastered hating you until I had it down to a science but…"

"Oh, darling, it's so good to hear that. I just want to go back to being plain Dr. Bartowski, teacher, wife and mother. When I first saw you in the conference room I couldn't breathe or even think. I was running on autopilot. I've been told you are in a relationship with your senior agent, that it's serious, but now I know there's still a chance for us…"

"Yes. But I find myself loving two women, so be patient with me, sweetheart. I'm just a man, after all." He didn't want to lay it on too thick but he had to protect Sarah.

"And just who is Agent Walker, Chuck, if you're not CIA?"

"She's my handler…and my fiancé. They'd told me you were dead and I had a daughter to focus on so there was no time for romance or dating. It's only lately that I've come out of my shell. And now, you're back in my life, alive and looking almost exactly the same while I've gotten old and…"

She stopped his rambling with a kiss, running her tongue across his closed lips, demanding entrance. He sighed into the kiss and parted his lips allowing her into his life. She put one hand behind his head and with the other she stroked the side of his face. When they finally broke the kiss he was surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"It wasn't that bad, was it, Jill?" He made a joke out of it to avoid having her go into a deep explanation of things.

"I've missed you, darling, and I never thought this moment would ever happen. I know I hurt you and Ellie but they were going to kill you both if I didn't go deep cover. I had no choice."

"What? Who would order such a thing? Surely it's not only immoral but it has to be illegal…who would do such a thing?"

"My control agent, Bryce Larkin. At first he was going to blackmail me because of… Chuck, please don't hate me but Ellie's not…"

"I know. We both know. But Larkin?"

"He was bucking for Assistant Deputy Director and needed a stable of agents to present as proof of his abilities so I guess I was one of at least a half dozen who were selected. You were in Iraq and Carina said she'd watch Ellie until you got home so…I did it…to protect the one thing I still valued…my family."

"Carina knew? Carina knew you'd been forced into it? She was…"

"Yes, she knew. She said she'd try to find a way to tell you and to protect Ellie but I didn't trust her so I left you a letter with her to give to you. It explained everything, my love, and I asked that you wait for me but I can see you didn't."

"I got word in Germany that you'd been killed. Bryce sent a special courier. Told me you'd been killed on a mission and he'd been the one who sent you and he felt horrible. I never got a letter from you and Carina never said a thing to me."

"Germany? I thought you went to Iraq? What were you doing in Germany?"

"Got hurt. Recuperated there. No big deal. Let's hold further discussion until we're in Arizona."

"I can't wait to see Ellie. She must have changed so much. I missed her entire life. How can she ever forgive me?"

"She's an amazing young lady. You'll find a way. But she's not in Arizona. She's here in Europe someplace on a tour. Sarah and I gave it to her as a graduation present. She starts UCLA in late August. And I might as well warn you. Her boyfriend is an incoming senior at ASU and has been accepted at UCLA for medical school. His name's Devon."

Jill's face got red and she hugged Chuck so he wouldn't see her anger and jealousy. His CIA bitch got her daughter a trip to Europe for graduation. And they were engaged. "Oh, Chuck, I've missed so much and for what? I'm going to report Larkin and have him removed."

Chuck started to laugh. Jill sat back, angry that he thought it was funny.

"Oh, Jill, you can't have him removed. I had him removed…permanently. He's dead, gone up in smoke. He can't hurt you any more, sweetheart, not unless he can come back from Hell."

"Y – you had him killed? What exactly is your role in all this? How could you have the Deputy Director killed?"

"He threatened to have Ellie raped or worse in L.A. if something…wasn't done to his liking. No one threatens my family, no one, Jill, understand?"

His tone of voice frightened her. She didn't recognize the 'commander' in him. He'd changed and some of the changes excited her but others reminded her of her role in things.

"Did you keep our little house on Rodeo Arena Road, Chuck? I've thought about being home so many times."

"I bought 40 acres out past the Post and built a house for Ellie and I. We ran cattle for a while but I got too busy and Ellie developed other interests so we sold them off."

"I can't wait to see our new home, baby."

Chuck excused himself saying he needed to verify some travel arrangements. He called Sarah and asked about the briefing with Beckman.

"You'd know if you hadn't run off with…with Jill. Chuck, what's going on? I'm scared, Chuck. You're like…someone I don't even recognize. Why did you just leave like that?"

"I opened the door to her and she strolled in. I told you something was off with this whole thing. First thing, she starts on 'why' she left and then segues off onto Ellie and even pulled in Bryce and Carina. I want you to have her scanned. She doesn't know exactly where we're going and I want to keep it that way. Check her stuff for bugs, and other crap. And don't be alone with her, baby. I don't trust her."

"Chuck, I'm a trained agent, remember?"

"So's she."

* * *

_**A/N: King Chuck...Had ya going for a minute, didn't I? Well, admit it. You'll feel better if you do.  
**__**APR**_


	19. Sending & Receiving Mixed Signals

MayDecember19

**A/N: There was originally a PG version of this but Nicole spiced it up a bit. Sorry. I won at the blackjack table but she lost it at the slots so we compromised. I wrote this sitting in a rental while she interviewed. I WILL NOT LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA. Next stop is some rinky-dink college in Erie. bwahaha**

* * *

**APR****Last time around: **

"_**Chuck, I'm a trained agent, remember?" **_

"_**So's she."**_

* * *

Sarah disconnected the call and smiled, mentally kicking her ass for her doubts. She looked down at her ring and all it symbolized and felt the briefest flicker of shame for _ever_ doubting him.

From her morning report to the General and the tone of her response, she knew she had to file an update, if just to be able to see the look on Beckman's face.

* * *

**Earlier:**

"Beckman, secure but public."

"This is Agent Walker, General. The contact meeting was a success. Major Bartowski and Helena Franks are on their way to the diplomatic terminal at the airport."

"He's alone with her? Agent Walker, where is you brain? He's to be escorted at all times. You know his doubts about this entire operation. Suppose he's right and we're wrong?"

_You mean suppose he's right and __**you**__ were wrong, don't you, General? she thought._

"Ma'am, Major Bartowski took advantage of a crack in her shell. She ignored him throughout the meeting until he finally asked her why she was so nervous. Her response provided an opening. He took it. I have every confidence that he's working the hell out of her."

"Fine. Report back when you make contact again. And do not leave his side again!"

Now when she called Beckman she felt much more secure.

"General, I'm on my way to the airport. Major Bartowski wants her scanned and our destination diverted to a secure facility at FT Huachuca until some questions are answered. He's already through the layers and a lot of things are off. She's weaving a rambling tale of deceit, double-crosses, threats to her family and betrayal by Larkin and by active agents including Carina Casey."

"Excellent work! It will be done upon arrival in the US. Your first stop will be here, at FT Meade, not in Arizona. That will come later once we've established her intentions. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sarah grinned and then arranged transportation to the airport. The debriefing was probably better done at NSA Headquarters rather than in Sierra Vista from a security standpoint, anyway. Chuck's security. They had no idea if Jill knew he was the intersect host and if Sarah had her way, she'd never know.

* * *

She arrived at the diplomatic terminal, presented her passport and was quickly processed through to the departure lounge where she saw Chuck sitting with Jill on a loveseat, holding hands. Her heart ached but she knew it was all 'for the cover' and so she tamped down on her emotions and put on her game face and greeted the two of them.

"Our plane leaves in 10 minutes but our destination has been changed due to operational considerations. There's a problem at FT Huachuca and until it's resolved we either stay here, which is totally unacceptable, or go to a secure location to begin the debriefing. So, you're homecoming has been delayed for a few days, Signora Franks, I'm sorry to say."

Jill absorbed the news with narrowed eyes but then sighed and commented that it would give her more time to get reacquainted with her husband. Sarah gritted her teeth and asked Chuck for a few moments to 'update him on the situation with the General'.

The two agents walked to the farthest corner of the lounge and sat with their backs to Jill.

"We're going in to Meade. Beckman's tickled. She'll be scanned and monitored by the NSA upon arrival."

"Good. I haven't been able to find out 'why' she's so fired up to come in now when things are just getting to the point where her intel would be incredibly valuable. She keeps going back to the 'why' she left in the first place. It's always the same story, just different words. How are you holding up, Sarah? This must be pissing you off."

"Yeah. It is. Seeing you holding her hand and listening to her call you 'her husband', it…it hurts, Chuck. I'm your fiancé. She's the cheating whore of an ex-wife. I'm the one who's supposed to be holding your hand, not that…that bitch!"

"Hey! Calm down. You knew it would be hard so get a grip. You think this is a picnic for me? She's more focused on getting us alone so we can have sex than on her daughter. Once she knew Ellie was out of the picture she focused on me. Not something a mother would do. At least I don't think so."

"I'm sorry. I just…I'm so…insecure. She looks fabulous, she has history with you, you're only human and I'm…I feel…" She started to cry and Chuck wanted nothing more than to kill the operation and disappear with Sarah until she was over this…abortion of an assignment.

"Please, don't cry. I can't comfort you the way I want to, not with the Bitch across the lounge watching every move. Please…don't. I love you, Sarah, not that…woman. Trust me. Believe in me, in us. I won't let you down."

"Chuck, when this is over we're getting married - the very next day understand? The. Very. Next. Day."

"We'll see. I want you to have the little-girl-dream wedding. I can afford it. Now, I want you to haul off and slap me. Don't hold back. It has to look real. It has to be real."

"Chuck, why?"

"I'm going to take her into the lavatory of the plane once we're airborne and have 'welcome home' sex with…" SLAP!

His hand went to his cheek but he smiled at her. "Good girl."

Her hands flew to her mouth reminiscent of her actions when Beckman first broached the assignment.

"Oh, Sarah?"

She looked up at him, lost. How could he…

"You needed the motivation to make it look real. I wouldn't screw her with Bryce Larkin's mini-dick." He rubbed his cheek, blew her an air kiss and wiped the tickle of blood from his lip where his tooth had caught it.

Sarah was shocked until the meaning of what he said dawned on her and then she buried her face in her hands so no one could see her laughter. Jill was just a piece of meat to him.

Chuck walked over to where Jill was seated and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. She'd watched with undisguised joy as Chuck spoke earnestly to her about something and she'd slapped his face and then appeared to be crying. Maybe there was trouble in paradise. She hoped so.

"I see some things haven't changed at all. The CIA still uses pain and humiliation as control measures. Chuck, I promise you, when I'm done with this debriefing and we're back home, no one will ever hurt you again. I'll kill them if they do. She's your handler, yes, but that doesn't mean she can 'handle' you. Please, sweetheart, tell me the truth. This 'engagement', it's all part of your cover story, isn't it? You really don't love her, do you?"

"It was when we woke up this morning but now, I'm not sure of anything, Jilly. I asked you to please not pressure me about this. You've been gone so long and I've been a single dad and so lonely…"

"'Jilly', Chuck, you called me 'Jilly'. You haven't called me that since before Ellie was born. Oh, darling, I'm so sorry for ever cheating on you and even more sorry that I ever joined the damned CIA. All this spy crap has ruined our lives. We could have been so happy and maybe Ellie wouldn't be an only child."

"Please, let's just drop it until we can be alone. I don't want to drag this out in public. Let's just get this debriefing crap over with so I can get back to work and you can start living life again."

She leaned against him, resting the palm of one hand on the inside of his thigh. "Chuck, I have a confession to make. My 'husband' is a cover. He's gay and has his own 'friend'. I'm not married, baby, and I swear I've been faithful to our marriage on this assignment." She ran her palm up and down the inside of his thigh.

Chuck almost laughed in her face. Her file had a listing of lovers and marks she'd seduced as part of her CIA assignments. She'd been passed around the Fulcrum inner circle even before being appointed and was a highly sought-after lover.

"Let's not aggravate Agent Walker, Jill. We'll have lots of time to be intimate once this crap is over. Until then, let's keep any intimacy between us. Nothing public. Of course, the plane has several lavatories…"

She whispered some suggestions in his ear while washing it out with her tongue, making him blush and feel horribly uncomfortable.

He whispered to her, blushing fiercely, "Damn it, Jill, that's exactly what I'm talking about."

She glanced down at his crotch and touched him briefly. "That's exactly what I'm talking about, darling. You're hard and all I had to do was touch you with my tongue. Oh, the things we're going to do…"

Chuck stood up and turned so his back was to Sarah. "Jill, stop it. I'm not some…plaything you can throw away for a while and then take up with again when it's convenient. Until we complete this briefing and can be alone without the damned bugs, it's strictly business."

He offered her his hand and pulled her up. She took it as something more and hugged him, burying her face in his chest and grinding her crotch against his arousal. The look of revulsion on his face was clearly evident and Sarah schooled her features back to the 'no nonsense' agent and approached the couple.

"Let's board. You can continue your reunion at the base. Major, we're…Chuck, we're through. You've got _her _now." She handed him his ring and then started crying as she walked towards the departure gate, a broad grin on her face. She was the consummate actress when it was required.

* * *

As soon as the jet was at cruising altitude, Chuck went forward to the galley and poured Jill a large whiskey and water, lacing it with a CIA 'sleep aid'. He mixed one for himself, heavy on the water and then took them both back to where he and Jill were seated in the far rear of the 20-passenger jet.

"Here. I know you probably don't drink this early in the day but I need one. I've found a dead wife and lost a live fiancé and it's not even noon yet. What else can happen?" He smiled to take any sting out of it.

"Yeah. Well, it's 5pm somewhere in the world. Let's drink to us, darling, to us and to new beginnings." She smiled and clinked her glass to his and then drank the entire glass, asking him for another. "I'm so damned nervous, Chuck. I need another and I promise to sip it."

"Jilly, you'd better ease up. I'd like to talk for a while, not listen to your cute little snorlettes." He'd racked his brain for the 'cute' name he'd given her snores. Now it seemed really lame.

"Another, please? Then we'll talk and I'll answer all the questions you care to ask. Please? I need it, Chuck."

He returned with her drink but she was already asleep. Thank God.

He walked up to where Sarah was working on her laptop and slipped in beside her.

"Thank God for those knock-out drops. I don't think I could handle another round of 'remember when we'." He handed her back her ring with "Don't take it off again unless you're serious. Wear it. To hell with the mission. Wear it."

"No. It's part of the op, Chuck. I'll just slip it down here where you can find it if you need it." She put it into her bra cup and giggled.

"How long do these drops normally last? Is it the same for a trained agent?"

"About 3 – 5 hours. They're new so there's little resistance in her system to the formula. She'll sleep like a log. Why?"

"I want to make love to you here and now. I need this. I need to know we're OK. It's stupid and juvenile and selfish but…"

"Come with me, lover. I think that's a great idea and I'm glad you thought of it. Let's join the 5-Mile High Club."

* * *

Chuck sat down next to his ex-wife and smirked. He had no idea that his fiancé was so wanton, inventive or _limber_. Having sex standing up with her wrapped around him, her ass practically in the small sink of the lavatory had been incredibly hot and satisfying. He felt much better about things with Sarah and if the moans, gasps and finally a smothered scream coming from her were any indication, she was more than satisfied.

He covered Jill with a blanket and then raised the armrest between the seats and eased her across his lap so that she could stretch out a bit. His initiation into the club together with the tension of the day had drained him and he slipped into sleep unconsciously tightening his grip on brunette with her head on his lap even as his thoughts were on his blonde lover.

* * *

A/N: I don't do 'M' really well and I took out all her descriptive prose. It's my name on the story, not her's.  
APR


	20. Jill Lies, Sarah Dies, Chuck Flies

MayDecember20

A/N: She got a bad sunburn so we're taking it easy in the motel. She's sleeping and loving solarcaine.

APR  
Wildwood, NJ  
May 30-31

* * *

Previously:

"…and he slipped into sleep unconsciously tightening his grip on brunette with her head on his lap even as his thoughts were on his blonde lover."

* * *

Chuck woke with a start. The dream had been worse than usual. Much worse. He wrote it off to the stress of the day. He glanced at his Rolex, a gift from his fiancé, and noted that he'd slept less than an hour. There was something in the dream that was nagging at him. His tank had been hit and he tried to bail out but his body armor snagged on Jill's high heels.

He glanced over onto the floor near her seat and saw her heels, kicked off earlier in an attempt to relax. He reached for them but couldn't quite snag one as a sleeping Jill blocked his way. He leaned her upright and then reached down and took the shoes and examined them.

He fiddled with the heels, gently twisting and turning until he got something right and the heel released from the shoe, sliding back and revealing a hollow cavity containing a trank dart. He doubted it contained a tranquilizer. It was probably a neurotoxin. He pocketed it and then fiddled with the other heel and found a homing device. He flashed on it. An older model used by the NSA and most of the EU agencies. Anyone could have put it there, or it could be a Fulcrum unit. He deactivated it and replaced it.

He quickly rummaged through her purse, feeling like a thief or some other low-life but it needed to be done. Actually, a scan needed to be run on it. The contents were the usual junk you'd find in a woman's purse except that deep in one pocket he found the necklace Bryce had given her for her birthday.

He snapped the heels back into place and walked to the forward passenger section of the aircraft.

"Sarah, got a trank dart on ya?" He was flippant and she grinned up at him.

"What? She's awake and blabbing again?"

"Nope. Want to replace this", he handed her the dart, "with a diluted tranquilizer we can't die from. Also, I found a homing device in her heel of her shoe."

"Do you think she knows they were there? I mean, someone could be tracking her, suspicious of her cover or something."

He raised an eyebrow and stared at her. "Really, Agent, surely you remember some of your CIA training? The NSA hasn't corrupted all your tricks yet, have they?"

"I'm trying to be nice and give her the benefit of the doubt, Chuck, that's all."

"Do you see the little skull and crossbones on the glass seal? Think it's a favor from a pirate party or something?"

"Don't be sarcastic, Chuck, I'm serious. She was married to you and she must have some loyalty to you."

"Want to buy some beachfront property in Arizona, Sarah? Get you a good deal."

"Chuck, I'm just saying that she was married and had a child with you…oops. Sorry. That was thoughtless of me. Ok, so what do you propose doing?"

"Covering our asses. Can you replace it?"

"Yep. I think I still can remember my CIA training. I'm not that old."

"Quit with the old jokes, Sarah."

"Well, you are getting up there, Chuck. Although your performance rivals men 20 years younger. Wow. We're going to have to try…"

"Please! Focus, Sarah. What's with the women I fall for and their overactive libidos?" He teased her unmercifully.

"You don't complain, Charles. Maybe I should be more…chaste in the future. Y'know, no nookie until after the wedding?"

"Just replace the toxin with the diluted tranquilizer. Besides, I went EIGHT years without sex; a couple more years won't bother me that much. And after the…"

"Charles Bartowski, I thought I made myself absolutely clear. Wedding. The day after the mission is closed out. No delays. None."

"Fine. Do your spy thing. I don't want her waking up and finding me sniffing her shoes. That's just…gross."

"They make odor eaters, Chuck." She giggled and stepped away as he tried to swat her ass. "Now, now, Major Bartowski, no slap and tickle until after the wedding."

* * *

Jill was still asleep and he replaced the altered dart without incident. He positioned her across his chest so that she'd think he'd held her the entire time she'd been sleeping.

_'I can't believe how young she looks. She's hardly aged since I last saw her.'_

Jill started to stir so he leaned back and pretended to be asleep.

"Oh, Chuck, I can't believe I fell asleep. What did you put in my drink?"

"Hey, I asked you not to chug the whiskey but no, you had to have it and another one. We lost three hours we could have been talking and catching up."

"Sorry. I was stressed, baby. But I do like how you took care of me. I love waking up in your arms. I've missed our cuddling sessions, reading the paper on Sunday morning, grading papers naked, drinking wine and talking and making plans." Her eyes started filling with tears. He doubted they were real. She was a great actress and it probably came in handy in her line of work.

"Speaking of stressed, could you please sit up for a minute? My legs are asleep. Getting old. I see you still hate wearing shoes, Jilly. Must have been hell in the winter in Switzerland."

"Oh, I traveled a…I mean, my job required a lot of international travel so it wasn't always cold where I was."

"I got questions, Jilly, just between us. Why didn't you ever try and contact me? I never got a letter from Carina. I didn't even know her then. She was my original handler before Walker but that was years after you 'died'. She married my best friend and kind of retired. She and Ellie are 'shopaholics' together."

"I missed so much. I missed her…"

"Stop with the 'I missed her' crap. Why didn't you try to contact me? You knew I thought you were dead. Why couldn't you at least let me know I hadn't lost the love of my life? Why, Jilly, why?" He threw desperation and despondency into his voice and could see she was weakening.

"Because I needed to protect you from the spy life, darling. No contact was the rule. An exception would have put you or Ellie in danger."

"From who? The damned CIA? Larkin?"

"No. Fulcrum. I flipped to Fulcrum, double-crossed Larkin, went deep and waited for my chance to get out. I saw it and I took it. This is too personal for you, Chuck. They should have sent someone else."

"Ha! Do you think for one minute I wanted to come? Do you think I wanted to see you again knowing you'd deceived me, abandoned our daughter and become a traitor to your country?" He hoped it was the right tone to set. He wasn't sure.

"I had to, damn it! And when I saw a way out, I took it. I have valuable intel on moles and double agents, politicians and financiers, corporations that are fronts for Fulcrum, terrorist groups they support. I'm buying my freedom with Fulcrum intel, Chuck, and then there'll be nothing but good times for us."

"Why did you ask specifically for me?"

"Because I know I can trust you. You took wedding vows, sweetheart, and you'd never break them. You won't turn on me, won't allow them to dump me in some hole in the ground in Elko or Barstow to be wrung out and left to die. I'm terrified of being imprisoned. I've even hidden a 'hot shot' in case I have to suicide."

He couldn't help himself. He had loved Jill for most of his life and his reaction was automatic. He grabbed her and held her and whispered that he'd help her escape rather than let her be put down underground. He couldn't see her broad grin of triumph but she didn't know that the seats were bugged and that Sarah had recorded everything, including her facial expressions for analysis.

Sarah gasped when she heard Chuck promise Jill he'd help her escape rather than be put in a bunker. He promised. He never broke his promises, ever.

"Jill, I have to talk to Sarah. She's the operative in charge here. I'm just the friendly face to get you to talk. Let me see what she thinks is going to happen. Maybe if you cooperate, they'll let you go. I'll be right back, Jilly."

* * *

He walked to the front of the plane and sat down across from Sarah. "You get all that? I'll bet she's nominated for the Academy Award for best actress in a treasonous role. I can't believe it. I just can't believe I did that."

"Did what?" She was concerned that he'd discovered he still had feelings for Jill.

"Promised her I'd help her escape. That's a first for me. Breaking a promise. Do promises to traitorous bitches count?" He was only half kidding.

"No. Absolutely not, Chuck. Only promises made to people you think deserve your promise, not a traitor and a lying bitch."

"She told me about the 'hot shot' in her heel. Said she'd never be put underground. It terrifies her. But I notice she didn't mention the homing device in the other heel."

"It may be that she doesn't know it's there?"

"She switched on a jammer when she entered the conference room where we first saw her. It's not in her purse. It was probably either a dummy unit or a recording device. She's too crafty to lay out the entire package she was offering in such an exposed location. Nope. She's a fraud. But why?"

_Analysis follows._

_Probability of a false flag operation: 41.1%  
__Probability subject trying to locate intersect host: 51.8%  
__Probability subject is truthful: 7.1%  
__Error ratio +/- 2.2%_

_Recommendation: Terminate subject. Secure intersectt host._

Sarah saw Chuck zone out like he did on the cruise ship but this one was much briefer. "Chuck, did you flash?"

"Yeah. 2.0 says to kill Jill and terminate the operation and put me underground. I don't intend go underground but the jury's still out on taking Jill out."

Sarah's jaw dropped and Chuck noticed immediately as she tried to recover from her shock.

"Sarah, if she's playing us then it means she knows I'm the host, that Fulcrum knows I'm the host. It's something we have to consider. I don't like it but I've learned that the spy life is filled with doing things you don't like but that are the necessary things to do."

She'd never heard such a simple description of a spy's life couched in such condemning terms. She was glad her involvement in the 'life' was coming to a close. She'd still watch over him like a hawk but the reasons for that had changed the moment they'd exchanged 'I love you's'."

* * *

Jill looked at her watch and tripped a hidden pressure-sensitive switch and noted the countdown timer had reached 42 seconds. She tightened her seatbelt and gripped the arms of her seat tightly and waited.

Chuck had just sat down beside Jill and was in the process of fastening his own seatbelt when he heard a loud bang and the plane suddenly lurched in midair as if it had run into something and then banked sharply to the left in a deepening dive.

"What the hell…" He looked at Jill and saw the fear in her eyes as she looked past him out the port side windows. There was a long trail of black smoke and what could only be fuel vapor whipping past the aircraft windows.

"Keep your belt on and don't leave this seat. The emergency exit is two rows behind us. I need to talk with the pilots." The angle of the floor increased to almost 45 degrees and he almost ran to the secured cockpit door and keyed in his code and unlocked the door and immediately stepped back as shots were fired at him from the cockpit.

Sarah had watched as Chuck careened past her toward the cockpit door and almost laughed. He looked like one of those characters in the old cartoons she'd watched as a kid, arms wind milling as he plowed into the door. Her laughter turned to horror as she watched him dive out of the open doorway as shots were fired at him.

There was another problem. She saw one pilot dead, half his head missing and the ocean rapidly approaching as the surviving pilot turned and began pulling up on the yoke.

Chuck used the seats to pull himself up to where Sarah was seated. He threw himself into the seat beside her and started putting on his seatbelt. Sarah tightening her own belt and then reached over and helped him secure his own. She grabbed his hand and held it in a death grip, keeping eye contact and muttering a mantra of "I love you, Chuck" over and over.

Jill was running over the plan in her mind although she was desperately trying to maintain bladder control. This was not part of the plan to hijack the plane and drop below the radar and fly to the Fulcrum base in the interior of Quebec. The great circle route they were following passed over Greenland and Newfoundland before entering U.S. airspace.

She looked out the cabin window but could see only ocean. Something had gone seriously wrong with the plan or they were behind schedule when the device activated. Instead of land all she could see was ocean and fuel vapor and black smoke threading along the fuselage. The small bomb was designed to 'simulate' not actually cause a fire in the aircraft.

The Fulcrum agent piloting the aircraft cursed in several languages as he struggled to level out from the dive and reset his course for the abandoned Canadian air force base now used by Fulcrum. He knew that there was no way the operative could take out the CIA agent with the 'kill shot' and then disable the Army major who programmed the intersect with the aircraft dancing all over the sky.

Jill felt the aircraft begin to level out and initiated her plan. She took a tube of lipstick and a small vial of perfume from her purse and reassembled them into a simple one-shot dart delivery system. She removed her high heel, twisted out the 'kill shot' dart and inserted it into the 'gun' and threw her shoe down with the other.

The plane leveled out and she unfastened her seatbelt and ran towards the front of the jet as if in search of Chuck. She reached their seats and just as Chuck was unfastening his seatbelt and standing in the aisle. He turned towards her and smiled but it faltered when he saw the hate in her face.

"Die, bitch!" she shouted and fired the dart, hitting the still-seated Sarah in the neck. She continued on, punching Chuck in the throat and then the face, knocking him to his knees. He clutched his throat, trying to take a breath, panicking when he saw Sarah's eyes roll back into her head and her body convulse and then slump forward, held in her seat by the seatbelt.

The last thing he saw was Jill's barefoot heading towards his face in a savage martial arts kick.

* * *

OOOOOOOOOO, a cliffy! Enjoy your holiday, boys and girls. Remember why Americans get today off to sit on their fat asses enjoying life while others didn't and still don't.  
APR


	21. Chuck v Jill Smackdown & Sarah's Boobs

MayDecember21

* * *

_Previously:_

_The last thing he saw was Jill's barefoot heading towards his face in a savage martial arts kick._

* * *

There were times in his life when he wished he were dead. This was one of those times. Sarah was dead. Either she didn't substitute the trank for the toxin in Jill's dart or Jill sensed a switch and used another toxin-laden dart. Either way, Sarah Walker was dead and he discovered that there was no purpose without her in his life.

Ellie was an adult and could fend for herself and she had Devon. He had no one.

He shook his head, clearing the thoughts of death for another time and then tried to stand but the plane suddenly banked sharply and resumed its dive. Something in the plotters' plan must have gone wrong. He heard Jill screaming at the pilot to "Do something!"

He heard the pilot curse and managed to pull himself up to his knees and then finally he managed to stand, hanging onto a seat and trying not to fall again. He'd really had his bell rung. He had a broken nose for certain and his tongue was attacking loosened teeth as if it had a mind of its own.

He glanced out the window to portside and saw the horizon begin to move slowly back to its normal position. Out the starboard side he saw a rocky shoreline and hoped the pilot was an experienced 'nap of the earth' flier because the plan seemed to be less than 100 feet off the ground.

Jill cursed the pilot and demanded he get control of the aircraft and get them on course for the Fulcrum base. Chuck couldn't make out what he said but Jill suddenly turned white and the walked shakily towards where he was standing in the aisle.

Chuck waited. If she came just a few feet closer he'd be able to jump her and twist her fucking head from her neck. No, that was too merciful. He'd settle for subduing her, then the pilot, and figure out how to send a message out to NSA about the situation.

Jill stopped just a foot or two from the imaginary kill zone and looked sadly at Chuck. She gestured toward Sarah and said, "I'm sorry, Chuck, but she was Fulcrum. She made herself known through code phrases in both the initial meeting and when she greeted me in the airport diplomatic lounge. I had to eliminate her."

"You're a real piece of work, Jill. You kill a CIA agent saying she was Fulcrum but gloss over how your pilot is Fulcrum. The copilot was CIA and he's dead. Walker was CIA and she's dead. So, I guess I'm glad I'm not CIA or you'd probably be wiping your knife off on my shirt. Liar. Fulcrum bitch."

She wasn't fazed at all by his accusations. "You're too valuable to us, darling, to have any harm befall you. Surely you can see the advantages of coming to work for us? We can be together. Ellie will be protected. You can work in complete freedom without restrictions and there will be no lack of volunteers to assist you in finally perfecting a downloaded intersect database. And we can be together again as a family, the three of us."

"You think I carry all that shit around in my head? Ten years of research notes, formulae, and programs all crammed into my head? Idiot! It's all on the mainframe in Arizona. And I _did_ perfect the intersect. There _was_ a host. You _killed_ her, you stupid bitch! Sarah Walker was the intersect. You destroyed the project when you killed her. Happy now, Jilly? Will your masters be pleased?"

Chuck would have laughed if it hadn't been so sad. The look on her face ran the gamut of surprise, shock, and finally, fear. Oh, yeah. The key.

Unbidden, an image of Sarah came to his mind. The look on her face when he offered her the ring at Luigi's. He'd never see such joy again. He had to act.

Chuck turned and pulled himself back toward the rear of the bouncing plane using the seats as handholds until he reached his seat. He pulled his carryall from beneath the seat, opened it and removed his 'last resort' devices. The grenade was a flash bang, but configured to resemble a fragmentation grenade. His 9mm was just that – a 9mm using low-velocity ammunition such as air marshals used in commercial passenger planes. He'd smuggled them onto the plane. They were forbidden by regulation.

Grinning like the mad scientist George had once described him as, he activated the NSA emergency beacon and zipped the bag shut. When he stood and turned, Jill was almost on him, only a few yards away, a wicked ceramic blade held in high guard position and murder in her eyes. Oh, shit. He'd reduced his value to Fulcrum to zero with his lies about the project. Part of him was elated. No Fulcrum torture chamber. Just a brief moment of pain.

Sarah had been conscious for several minutes but waited until she could figure out the situation before acting. From the shouted conversation between Chuck and his ex-wife she figured out pretty quickly that he thought she was really dead and was goading Jill into killing him to protect the project.

Damn regulations for forbidding firearms on even NSA flights. She had to do something and do it quickly to prevent him from being killed. She had her knives…

The intersect was blasting Chuck with messages. Unbidden, analyses poured through his mind, slowing down his reflexes and responses. He shook his head to clear it but the final analysis burned into his brain, almost paralyzing him.

_Probability of capture: 99.0%_

_Recommendation: Self-terminate Self-terminate Self-terminate._

He held up the grenade for Jill to see and she stopped dead in her tracks, a look of panic on her face. He pulled the pin and tossed the grenade almost lovingly to his ex-wife.

"Catch!"

Instinctively she started turning to run but it exploded a foot from her. Chuck had fiddled with the fusing, shortening the burn time between the spoon release and detonation. He'd turned away from her and ducked behind the seat but was still rattled by the explosion. Jill was deafened and thrown violently forward by the blast, temporarily blinded and losing her blade and her wits in the process. The cabin lights failed whether from the effects of the blast or some other reason was unknown. Only limited early evening light passed through the porthole windows.

* * *

The explosion galvanized Sarah into action. Chuck was fighting for his life and she had to help. Still a little groggy from the effects of the trank dart she made her way towards the rear of the aircraft. Sixty feet seemed like a mile but she pulled herself along the aisle using the seats just as Chuck had. She was terrified that he'd killed himself to avoid capture. How had he gotten a frag grenade onto the plane in the first place? And why were they still alive and the plane reasonably intact?

Chuck stood up and stepped out into the aisle. He aimed his pistol at Jill's face and started to pull the trigger when the plane suddenly leveled out and began a gentle climb. He looked down at Jill's tear-streaked face and grimaced. She was the mother lode of intel. He couldn't kill her. She was Ellie's mother.

He reversed his pistol and smashed her in the jaw with as much strength as he could muster and smiled cruelly. "That's gotta hurt, _Jilly_ _darling_. Just a sample of the pain I'm going to bring into your life. You killed my future, my hopes and dreams. I'm going to take your life after I suck your mind dry of any information you might have, _Jilly darling_, but slowly and painfully. But first, I've got to take back my aircraft. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back, _Jilly darling_. And then the real fun begins."

He looked up into arctic blue eyes he thought he'd never see again. He lurched forward, stepping over Jill and crushed Sarah to him. "I thought I'd lost you. I thought you were dead."

"I promised never to leave you. I don't break promises to you."

"Can you fly this plane, O' Queen of the CIA?" He was grinning and trying not to hug her again. No time for that.

"Sure can. You know you're not supposed to have a weapon on board, Chuck. I'll have to punish you when we get somewhere …comfortable."

"Let's take back our airplane and see what kind of a mess we're in. We'll see about who punishes whom later."

Chuck handed Sarah the pistol but she just smiled and pulled out a knife from a wrist holster. "Don't want to damage the instrumentation in the event I have to kill him. Where'd you get the damned cannon from, Chuck? Oh, the pencil-pushers are going to be so angry with you!" She grinned and he could imagine her thinking _'like either of us give a rat's ass right now.'_

"Brought it and the flash-bang in my carry-on. Stupid regs get people killed, honey. And I have things to do yet before I shuffle off the mortal coil. Cool things. Wonderful things."

Sarah just smiled her 'I love you' smile and went forward towards the cockpit area. "Stay behind me. I'm going for surprise. Don't hate me, sweetheart."

"Wha?" He didn't know why she'd say something like that now but then he saw her shrug out of her jacket and unbutton her blouse to the waist and then flick open the front of her bra, letting her breasts free. Chuck was sure his eyes were bugging out like some cartoon character.

"I hope you'll always react that way when the girls are loose. Now I'm going for surprise and hope he doesn't shoot at me like he did you. That would ruin both our plans. Stay here."

She walked boldly into the cockpit, hiding her dagger in the palm of her hand. "Hi there!" The pilot turned his head and his reaction was both gratifying and predictable. While his mind was on her stunning attributes and all thoughts of shooting her vanished from his mind, she buried her dagger in his throat, stepping back to avoid any blood. She pulled his dead body from the pilot's seat and dragged it into the aisle and then she and Chuck tossed it into the galley out of the way.

"Go keep an eye on your ex-wife while I see about getting us back on course and in contact with friendly forces." She was buttoning her blouse and checking to make sure she hadn't picked up any bloodstains. This was Chuck's favorite blouse and that was why she'd worn it and she didn't want to get any stains on it. She liked the way he looked at her when she wore it. She'd gone right out and bought two more the next day. She _really_ liked how he looked at her.

"Sarah, I activated a distress beacon I had in my bag. Maybe you can contact someone on the radio and get us an escort?"

"Sounds like a plan. OK, you go by the lav and get the blood off your face. Your nose is…broken and you're going to have two outstanding black eyes before long. Any other damage?"

"Just a couple of loose teeth. Caught a foot in the face but I think I broke her jaw so we're even."

"Don't mess her up any more, sweetie. We might have to walk or run and she needs to be able to keep up with us."

"I'd better secure the bitch before she causes any more mayhem."

"Good idea. There are some zip ties in my purse."

He secured her hands behind her back and dumped her into a seat, tightened the seat belt and then secured her feet to the stanchions supporting the seats. She was out cold but not having any difficulties breathing.

Sarah sat in the cockpit and surveyed the instruments. Fuel was dangerously low and the pilot had cut the speed of the aircraft to maximize the distance the aircraft could travel but he'd sacrificed some distance for altitude. The gentle climb indicated by the autopilot display had probably cost them 20 minutes of fuel so she immediately leveled the jet out.

Sarah changed the frequency on the transceiver to an NSA emergency channel and broadcast a Mayday call. The response was immediate and gratifying. After exchanging identification codes and giving a brief report, the controller directed her to a new course that would take them to a disused RCAF emergency airfield. She was instructed to land and await pickup by friendly forces within a few hours.

* * *

**24 hours later**

Sarah was angry. The mission had been flawed, sure, but it had been successful. Chuck had warned the General of the possibility of it being a 'false flag' exercise and she'd ignored him. Beckman was concerned that the 'host's identity' was widely known and was pushing for a relocation into a witness protection environment.

"Sarah, don't be angry. It's the way she is. Don't look for an apology or an admission of error on her part because it's not going to happen. Accept the fact and move on. In all the years I've worked with her she's never admitted to being wrong. It's her way."

"It's not that, sweetheart, it's her damned attitude towards you, the 'intersect host'. Damn it, you developed and downloaded the intersect…"

He stopped her with a gentle kiss; it hurt too much to be more than 'gentle'.

"I need to stop by the base dental clinic and see what they can do about the loose teeth. I can't get all widely passionate with them rattling around in my mouth. It's not the kind of distraction I prefer."

"Well, since you can't breathe through your nose either, I'd say the passion's on hold for a while. How long until the packing is out? And those are two of the most magnificent black eyes I've ever seen."

"A week to 10 days. I can lose the tape in a week but I have to have the packing removed 'by competent hands' and that means waiting until we get back to Sierra Vista."

"I called Ellie and told her we were back and that everything was OK. I didn't mention the raccoon look her daddy was sporting. I'll let you surprise her with that one. She's staying with the Casey clan. Carina's thrilled with the company and they're going to Tucson for a few days for some 'stress-relief'. I guess that's Carina's new term for 'shopping'."

"Sarah, about Jill…" He wanted to clear the air between them lest there be any doubts in her mind.

"If you're going to say what I think you're going to, don't bother, baby. I saw the rage in your face when you took her out. And I heard everything you said to her when I was playing dead before. I know she's nothing more than the mother of your daughter to you and I'm OK with that. Really."

"Good. I wasn't sure how I was going to make you understand that the only reason she was still alive was because she was Ellie's mother, not because I felt anything for her but hatred and contempt. I thought she'd killed you and I almost took her out."

"Beckman would have been pissed if you had but I understand, really, I do. I don't know if I could have displayed such…restraint if I had been in your shoes. I saw the bruises on your throat and face and I wanted to kill her."

"We have to sit in on the initial interrogations but we're free by the weekend. I don't think we'll be needed much around here. I want to go home, Sarah, and forget she ever existed."

"Amen to that. Now, remember my promise? The mission is officially closed out. Tomorrow we are getting married. We'll drive down to Virginia and have it formalized. We can do the 'big thing' in Sierra Vista, but I want us to be together, married, and starting our lives together. Don't fight me on this, Chuck. You'll lose."

"Why not get married right here in the base chapel. I'm sure Beckman can pull some strings and get the waiting period waived. Besides, it will be interesting to see how Jill handles it. Might loosen her tongue a bit."

Beckman could and did pull strings and they were married quickly and quietly by the base chaplain with Beckman and her aide as witnesses. Beckman was delighted with the marriage since it gave Chuck additional protection in the form of a deadly assassin for a bride. The marriage put paid to any notion of 'relocation'.

* * *

A/N: Bored, sitting in the motel. Erie is…never mind. Don't want to live here, either. The natural beaches here are all rocks and gravel but at least there's no oil. Next stop is Alabama. Heard it's HOT HOT HOT there.  
APR


	22. Desperate Wars Fought in the Darkness

MayDecember22

* * *

Editor's note: This is the end of it. I hope you enjoyed it. There is no more. Nik.

* * *

Previously:

Beckman could and did pull strings and they were married quickly and quietly by the base chaplain with Beckman and her aide as witnesses. Beckman was delighted with the marriage since it gave Chuck additional protection in the form of a deadly assassin for a bride. The marriage put paid to any notion of 'relocation'.

They'd have their honeymoon later when things calmed down and after they had the 'family affair' ceremony with the white gown and the frilly things he wanted Sarah to have. She didn't care. He was hers and he was safe from the clutches of Beckman's 'relocation' machinations.

* * *

Detention Facility  
FT Meade, MD

Jill was being held in detention under suicide watch. Her cell was a Lucite box with a bed and a mattress and a sheet. She was dressed in a formless orange jumpsuit and was under constant visual surveillance. Her state of mind since being incarcerated after surgery to repair her broken jaw was tenuous. All she did was sit on the edge of her bed and mumble and occasionally cry out that she wanted to see her husband, Major Bartowski.

Chuck and Sarah sat in the control booth watching the monitors. Every time she cried out for 'Chuck' or her 'husband', Sarah would squeeze his hand and let him know she was right there with him. He found it hard to watch the woman he'd loved and lost to Larkin and Fulcrum in such a state. He no longer loved her. He pitied her.

Beckman's aide entered the control booth and handed Chuck an envelope stating that he would take the Major's reply back to the General. Chuck tore open the envelope and read the single page of instructions and sighed. He handed the paper to Sarah and when the aide started to protest he silenced him with a glare.

"Agent Walker is my partner. She's privy to everything involving this operation. Go away and find something to do for the next 30 minutes. I need to think about this and formulate a reply. Why didn't she just call me?"

"The General is in conference with the President's intelligence director and is in a secure location. Cell phones are not permitted, Major."

"Fine. Thirty minutes." He dismissed the aide and put him out of his mind.

"Chuck, it might be better if I wasn't involved in this anymore. I can fly home and rescue Ellie from Carina's clutches and hold down the fort until you get done here."

"Does that ring I gave you mean so little? Can you just set aside your personal feelings, wall them up and ignore them, all for a mission? Well, I can't. The answer is 'no'. I will not allow her into my life anymore than she's already intruded. No. Beckman said it was optional and at my option. My option is to tell her 'no' and pack up and go home."

She knew better than to 'cross' him on this. She was in total agreement with him but still, she was an agent and he was duty-bound to follow his orders. She didn't believe for one moment that Beckman would just allow him to walk away from this mess. In this case, she was perfectly capable of ordering Chuck to take the mess home with him.

Chuck scribbled some notes on the letter and summoned Beckman's lackey and handed him the envelope. "Tell the general that Major Bartowski regrets but he will be unable to offer further assistance in this matter. Tell her that when you call her with my answer. And please, don't hand me any more bullshit about 'cell phones are forbidden'. I'm not a brand new 'butter bar'."

The junior aide glared at him but there was nothing he could say. He was obeying orders. He was a good little lieutenant. He wondered again about the mysterious major and what hold he had over the general that he could pick and chose which orders he would obey.

He'd read the major's ribbons and various branch insignia – a damned tread head, a tanker, a pillbox driver, a tin can man…still he did have several of the big ones and that meant he'd seen the elephant, been to the fair, gone downtown at night.

He wasn't even an agent and yet he ordered agents and lesser beings around like they were inconsequential. He was beginning to turn his attention to the gorgeous blonde sitting beside the Mysterious Major when he saw the eyes go cold, brown shifted to black, nostrils flared and pupils dilated. He'd bet even money this mysterious Armor officer was not even an officer, probably a super spook, a…

"Lieutenant, move your ass and make your damned phone call. I'm sure the General is sitting on pins and needles awaiting my response and formulating options and alternatives to give you to present again. Run along like a good little aide de camp and carry my response."

The aide colored and whirled on his heel and stormed from the control booth. Bastard! Probably pushing retirement age and has to impress the woman with his authority since he can't do much else. The General would not be pleased and the aide was so hoping to carry another message that would knock the cocky bastard off his lofty perch.

* * *

"Yes, General, those were his _exact _words."

"LT Grimes, tell him it's not an order. It a personal request. A favor, in recompense for Agent Bartowski's new status. And say 'please', Lieutenant. And try not to rub him the wrong way. His wife, the agent sitting with him, will take exception and you don't want that to happen."

"Yes, General." _Jesus, 'say please'? Who is this guy? His __wife__ is an agent?_

* * *

Chuck glanced at his watch when the door to the control booth opens and then Chuckles when Sarah sighs and hands him a $20 bill.

"Major, General Beckman's compliments and she says 'Please, it's a personal request in recompense for Agent Bartowski's new status'. That's word for word, sir."

He handed the $20 bill back to his wife and sighed. Women thought alike, apparently. At least the women in his life.

"OK, LT…what the hell is your name? You're supposed to be wearing a name tag."

"Grimes, sir. And it's on my other uniform at the dry cleaners."

Sarah started to chuckle and then laughed outright, holding a hand up to the mortified lieutenant. Getting her laughter under control she said, "Not laughing at you, LT Grimes. My husband pulled the same crap with his decorations. Are all you Army types so devious at flaunting authority?"

_Her husband? This was the Agent? _

"No, ma'am, I was just being truthful." He waited for the eventual smart assed comment from the Major and when none came he looked at him. He was nodding his head. "Honesty is the best 'excuse' you can give, Ell-Tee. Keep that in mind in the future. Troops will follow an honest officer before they'll think about obeying a liar."

Chuck sighed; he did that a lot lately, and stood. "Ell-Tee, sit with my wife and don't let her leave this control booth." He turned to his wife. "Sarah, don't hurt him. He's just doing his job and following orders. Now, don't freak out and remember you're a married woman and she's a divorced traitor."

He walked out of the control booth and they watched on the monitors he walked across the open floor to the Lucite box and keyed in a code. A door opened and he walked in and seated himself on built-in bench across from Jill. The door closed and locked itself automatically behind him.

"Watch and learn, grasshopper. He's going crush her, then pull her out of her funk, and then make her feel good. She'll be singing like a bird before the hour is up." She loved her Chuckisms.

* * *

"You haven't been this quiet in years, Jilly. I should have broken your jaw years ago. Maybe you wouldn't have run around behind my back with that scumbag. Your primary seduction skill would be unavailable if you couldn't open your mouth."

She glared in response. She wanted to tell him how much better Bryce had been in the sack but it hurt too much to talk. And it wasn't true but Chuck couldn't have helped her career like Bryce could.

"So, since you're quiet, let me tell you a few things. First, you've seen the sun for the last time, Jilly darling. Second, when I leave this box, it'll be the last time you see me. And third, if they don't give you the needle for treason, you'll be sent to the special unit in Iceland."

She expected the first comment and shrugged it off. She figured he'd say he was never coming back but the Iceland comment scared her. Everyone knew about the 'off the books' holding unit in Iceland. It was the closest you could come to Hell without dying. It was legendary. There were no rules, just a hole in the ground. You were lowered into it in a cage. There were no guards, just steam tunnels for warmth and water and the monthly food drop.

"Nooooo."

"Yeah, the Hole. Once you're there, you're scrubbed off the books. What you know goes with you. Oh, and there aren't more than 5 female guests alive at last count. Oh, Jilly darling, you'll be so popular…and sore." He laughed. He could see the panic building. No one wanted the Hole.

"You can avoid it, y'know? Well, I could help you avoid it. I still feel something for you, Jill. I might be able to get you sent to Elko. At least there you'd only have to give your favors out to the guards, not 70 other prisoners." He was being deliberately cruel. She deserved it and it was necessary to break her.

She looked at him with wide eyes and nodded her head. Anything was better than the Hole or the needle. She could survive Elko until friendly elements found and freed her. No one came back from Iceland.

"Did you really mail yourself a package?" She nodded her head. "Is the material in it valid and accurate and…timely?" Stale-dated intel was useless.

Again she nodded. "And the flash drives are encrypted. Will you provide the code keys?" She nodded, a little more vigorously. So far, everything he asked was expected.

"Who told you I had developed an intersect process?" She closed her eyes and shook her head. She would need this intel as a bargaining chip later in the interrogation.

"I see some 'vigorous interrogation' will be required. If you don't know, you're useless. If you do know, we'll find out. Either way, you'll never be the same again. No man – or woman for that matter – will be interested. We employ some of Saddam's best people. It would be a shame to let such talents go to waste." He started to unbutton his uniform tunic and shrug it off. Then he removed his tie and then his shirt.

"See an example of their handiwork, Jilly? You're a woman. Imagine what body part they'll want to concentrate on first? A blowtorch or welding rig loosens the tightest tongue."

"Who told you I developed an intersect process?"

It took two hours to get the initial information. Less time than he expected, really, but he'd taken his time, letting her stare at the spaghetti on his chest, imagining her own covered in such scars. Sarah was right. It was basic vanity and Jill was the vainest, most narcissistic person he knew. He'd noticed the tiny scars behind her jaw line and around her eyes and mouth. She'd had plastic work done, probably a tummy tuck and a tit lift, too.

"Well, that's all the time I have for you, Jilly darling. Enjoy Elko. It's sunny there…on the surface but 800 feet down? It's like being in a tomb, like being buried alive, trapped, unable to escape the crushing weight, never to breath fresh air or see the sun again. You're young, attractive, and persuasive. I'm sure you'll find friends among the guards in the women's section. The female guards are all hand-picked, y'know? Special criteria."

He stood and buttoned his shirt and re-tied his tie. He had problems with his tunic and he just left it off and signaled Sarah to pop the lock and let him out.

He was sick to his stomach but he felt elated. No one knew who Chuck Bartowski was. No one knew outside of Jill and the pilot. She planned on using the information to leap to the top of the Fulcrum pyramid. She'd planned on bringing Chuck to Fulcrum.

She wasn't insane or crazy or demented. She was a product of her training and environment. She'd get the needle for sure since Fulcrum had a bad habit of rescuing its captive agents.

The best laid plans of mice and whores…

* * *

He walked into the control booth and the lieutenant snapped to attention and took his tunic and helped him on with it.

"Thanks, Ell-Tee. Now, Sarah, let's get the fuck out of this place. I need some serious alone time, sweetie." He picked up his cell and speed dialed Beckman.

"General, got it all on tape. She deserves the needle. See that she gets it. The sooner the better. As long as she's alive the intersect is in jeopardy."

Whatever the General said must have been pithy because Chuck's response was direct and venomous: "The needle. I don't care what deals the government wants to make. It's my ass, and my family's safety comes first. That was our deal. Keep your damned word, Diane."

The lieutenant's eyes bulged. No one had ever spoken with such disrespect to an officer in his presence. He didn't even know Beckman _had_ a first name. Beckman would be totally unbearable now and he had to deal with her.

"Ell-Tee, a word of advice. She never breaks her word. Make sure if she 'deals', you get her word. Otherwise, you're just so much cat shit in her eyes."

"Sarah, sweetie, I hear the call of Bonanza land. Let's go home. You have a thing to plan with Ellie and Carina…a Blessing? And I'm going to just sit around and watch the confusion."

"Y'know, Major Bartowski, sir, that's an excellent idea. We'll invite my dad and Diane and, well, we have a lot of time to plan for that. Bye, El-Tee. Stay out of Beckman's way and remember what we discussed."

She wondered if someday in the future Grimes would look back on this day with fondness or hatred. He'd caught a glimpse of the shadow wars his boss fought every day. When the Major had punched the prisoner in the face he'd stiffened and she thought she might have a problem.

* * *

"He – he shouldn't do that. There are rules about the treatment of prisoners. You don't beat them, torture them. You're responsible for them. We have to stop this before he…"

"Before he what? Hits her again for trying to kill me? For leaving a daughter and husband and going over to Fulcrum? For killing an unarmed pilot simply because he was 'in the way'? For changing sides in an attempt to capture a valuable intelligence asset and subvert it to use against the American people?"

"There are rules, Agent."

"Yeah, well, tell that to the people in the WTC or the Pentagon. She's no different than those murderers, except she does it for money and power not religion. A word of advice, Grimes. Don't let Beckman hear you say that. You'll be gone before you can pack a bag. Welcome to the shadow world, Ell-Tee."

* * *

APR


End file.
